Read Online Surrender Your Heart by Raven J. Spencer - Free Book Online

love to hate, but use anyway.
I’ll make do.
    When she’s gone,
I sink into the warm water, laughing at myself. What do I need a relaxing bath
for? I did nothing all day except read and walk around for a bit. Frankly, I’m
not a fan of exercise, but I should find something to do. It would help if I
could go to the pool by myself. I have to talk it over with Carter. What is she
afraid of? Where would I go?
    I put on a short
red dress and flat sandals, and for the first time, I add some jewelry to the outfit.
This is all mine. I shouldn’t feel like a thief, or a gold digger.
    I don’t put on
evening make-up. I’ve never been a make-up person, and so my skills are
sketchy, not that I ever thought they matter. A bit of lipstick and perfume
will do. As much as I was creeped out, scared even in the beginning, I find as
much fascination in exploring the possibilities of my new self.
    This is all
between me and Carter, and to some extent, Marlene…and the person who broke
into my apartment, drugged and brought me here, but I don’t want to think about
this now. Even taking into consideration that concepts of beauty vary, that
many of them are ridiculous standards enforced by patriarchy, which I don’t
give a damn about...I have to admit I like what I see in the mirror. I’m not
exactly a model photoshopped for a magazine cover, just a woman in clothes that
fit her well. I’m excited.
    I find Marlene
and give her the razor back as promised. The dinner table is set for one.
    All of a sudden,
I want to cry, but instead, I force a smile.
    Carter will be
back.

Chapter Five
     
    Vacation time
will be over at some point. I’ll continue my studies best I can under the
circumstances and I’ll lay off the alcohol in the middle of the week, soon. As
long as Carter is absent, I don’t see the necessity for such responsible
behavior. After all, she took every responsibility from me—I have no
obligations whatsoever at this moment. Don’t run away, don’t hurt yourself,
I’ve upheld my part.
    Slightly tipsy,
I wander back to my quarters, restless and eager for Carter to return. So far,
our exchanges have been both: frustrating and intriguing, the verbal and the
tactile ones. I want her back. I want more.
    It makes me
giddy to rummage through the selection of lingerie. I had a couple of those at
home, but this is the real deal. It’s like a store with only items that fit me.
Actually, the abundance shouldn’t give me a guilty conscience at all. The
clothes, underwear and shoes were probably made by people who can earn an
actually living, not like your usual store-bought clothing. At least I hope
Carter has that much of conscience for global responsibility. I chose a short
black satin nightgown over a lacy bra and a thong. There’s a chance she’ll come
back tonight. Fantasy or truth, I almost don’t care anymore.
    It feels like a
fantasy at first, or a dream, the familiar soft touch, sliding over the satin
fabric, my legs, back up and underneath the hem of the nightgown.
    Yes, why not
go there, get it out of your system and mine? I’m okay with it. Whatever her deal is, I believe her that whips and chains are
not part of it, pain isn’t, so it’s all good. I might be a little off balance,
and a little blitzed, but yes, it’s good. Her fingers slide between my legs. My
body has a will of its own, my legs opening to accommodate her teasing,
tickling above the flimsy fabric, and then it’s gone altogether. I gasp, hands
flailing, but I try to compose myself, best I can, keep my eyes closed. I don’t
want to spook her—yes, like it’s all up to me.
    I can’t help the
sharp intake of breath, and by now, it doesn’t even matter anymore. She knows
I’m awake and enjoying myself, proof hot and liquid on her curious fingertips.
There’s movement, and the sound of footsteps. I need a moment to realize what
that means, and when I do, every single emotion of the past few days comes
crashing down on me. Caution is out of the