Read Online Super Sad True Love Story by Gary Shteyngart - Free Book Online

yourself. It is nice you write to Sally. Little sister always look up to big sister. Me and Daddy went to church and we talk together to Reverend Cho. I make sorry to Daddy that I all the time am unconsiderate of how hard he work and that he need everything just perfect, specially soon-dubu which is his favorite!Daddy promise that if he not feel well FIRST we pray together to GOD for guide us THEN he hit. Then Reverend Cho read to us Scripture which say woman is second to man. He say man is head and woman is leg or arm. Also we pray together and specially I unclude you and Sally because you and sister are all Daddy and me have. Otherwise we never leave Korea which is now richer country than America and also not have so much political problem, but how we were to know that when we leave? Now even in Fort Lee we see tank on Center Avenue. Very scary for me, like in Korea in the 1980 long time ago when there was Kwangju trouble and many people die. I hope nothing happen in Manhattan to Sally.
    So because we leave for you everything behind, you now have big responsibility to Daddy and Mommy and Sister.
    I just learn how to make happy sign. Do you like it? Haha. Make me pride of you and expect of you like before.
    I love you always.
    Mommy
    EUNI-TARD ABROAD TO CHUNG.WON.PARK:
    Mom, why don’t you and Sally come here to Rome? She can take summer classes next year. We’ll get a bigger apartment and I’ll show you around. You deserve a break from Daddy. There’s a Christian (not Catholic) church here that has services in Korean and we’ll eat delicious food and just have a good time. Maybe it’ll help make me more focused because I know you’re safe and then I’ll be able to score better on my LSAT.
    Love,
    Eunice
    EUNI-TARD ABROAD: Sally, do you want TotalSurrender panties? They’re those sheer pop-offs that Polish porn star wears on AssDoctor.
    SALLYSTAR: The one with the fake hips?
    EUNI-TARD ABROAD: I think so. I can’t get AssDoctor on my äppärät for some reason. Nothing works in Italy.
    SALLYSTAR: They’re sheer so you can wear them with Onionskins.
    EUNI-TARD ABROAD: Why not just wear them with regular jeans. That way you can “protect the mystery” as Mom says.
    SALLYSTAR: Hahaha. Kwan says some of the FOB Korean girls in LA don’t even use condoms because they want their dates to think they’re virgins. And they’re like 28! Christmas Cake already.
    EUNI-TARD ABROAD: SICK. But I don’t really get it. You sound like you’re better. Everything okay?
    SALLYSTAR: Dad’s feeling better, I guess. He came in to sing with me in the shower.
    EUNI-TARD ABROAD: IN THE SHOWER?
    SALLYSTAR: No, the curtain was there. Duh.
    EUNI-TARD ABROAD: But it’s a plastic curtain.
    SALLYSTAR: Can you get the TotalSurrenders cheaper in Italy? You know my size. Actually I’m one size fatter. Gross.
    EUNI-TARD ABROAD: Stop eating so much! And don’t let Daddy in the shower.
    SALLYSTAR: He’s not IN the shower. It’s nice to sing with him. We did “Sister Christian” and the theme song from “Oral Surgeon Lee Dang Hee.” Remember how angry Daddy used to get at that show? What’s that noraebang we’d go to?
    EUNI-TARD ABROAD: Something-something on Olympic. You should come to Rome for the summer.
    SALLYSTAR: Can’t. Classes. And we’re going to DC next week and there’s going to be more protests all thru the summer.
    EUNI-TARD ABROAD: Mommy says she saw a tank in Ft. Lee. Seriously, Sally. Don’t get Political. Come to Rome! There’s this huge outlet mall just twenty minutes away and they have the Saaami fall collection and JuicyPussy’s summer line and everything at least 80 percent off.
    SALLYSTAR: I thought the dollar wasn’t worth anything.
    EUNI-TARD ABROAD: You still save. Hello, 80 percent off. Do the math, nerd!
    SALLYSTAR: I can’t come. I got to look out for Mommy.
    EUNI-TARD ABROAD: Bring her with you!
    SALLYSTAR: Eunice, how do you think you can just pull things together and make everything change and