body armour.
Peter shook his head and ran his hands through his hair. For the moment he was silenced.
It was the girl who spoke first. ‘Look, what can I say?’
She had one of those low, drawling voices. Alice knew that it must be her car parked outside, probably a twentyfirst present from Daddy. Pete liked girls who weren’t going to rely on him for support. She belonged in that category herself. The thought struck a shiver of bewildered amusement through her and when he glimpsed it in her face Pete winced and said in a thick voice, ‘Al, you know, it isn’t…’
‘It isn’t what I think? Is that what you’re going to say?’
He held up his hand. ‘Georgia, you’d better go.’
With a part of her mind Alice was noticing how pretty she was and how young she looked. In contrast to this glowing girl she felt old and dull. She was also surprised by Georgia’s self-possession. She had hitched her bag over her shoulderand now she was looking coolly around the little room to see if she had dropped anything else. She leaned across and pressed a button to eject the disc from the player. When she had tucked it inside her bag she stood facing Pete with her back to Alice. Alice gazed at the graceful lines of her neck and narrow shoulders.
‘When will I see you again?’
He had the grace to look uncomfortable. ‘I don’t know. Perhaps not for a bit.’
‘I see. Well, then, I’ll call you.’ She turned away and glanced at Alice. ‘I’m sorry, I really am. It wasn’t intended to be like this. But all’s fair, as the saying goes.’
Then she left.
What does one say now? Alice wondered. Pete was waiting, ready to take his cue from her. He looked like a schoolboy anticipating a scolding, half truculent and half defiant. She wanted to tell him that he was an adult, a grown man. He couldn’t get away with being a naughty boy for ever.
‘I came over because my mother’s not well. I’m worried about her. I was thinking we could have lunch. Just a sandwich or something.’
Her words fell into the space between them. Pete’s expression changed to one of relief, reprieve.
‘Of course we can. Come on. Where would you like to go?’
‘What? No. I don’t want to go anywhere. That was before I saw…what I just saw.’
He rushed in: ‘Al, believe me, it’s one of those dumb things, it doesn’t mean anything.’
‘It’s just a dick thing?’
His face flushed. ‘No. Well, if you want to call it that, yes. I suppose.’
‘How many?’
‘How many times? For God’s sake. She’s just a student.’
‘I meant how many other women.’
‘Alice, please. What do you think I am? I’m with you, I love you .’
She stared at him. She wanted to have him put his arms round her and hear him saying that this was all a mistake – not in the guilty, formulaic way that he was saying it now, but in a way that meant she could believe him. And at the same time she knew that this was utterly unrealistic because she would never be able to believe what he told her, never again, no matter what he said. He had lied to her and he was lying to her now.
When he had finished protesting she listened carefully. She thought she could hear a tiny, feathery whisper. It was the sound of her illusions, softly collapsing.
‘I don’t think so,’ she said.
He thumped his clenched fist on the bench. It was a theatrical gesture. ‘Listen, I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. It was a mistake and I was regretting it even before you walked in. But it happens.’ The way an avalanche happens, or a thunderstorm, presumably. A natural cataclysm that was beyond his control.
Alice said carefully, ‘You didn’t look as though you were regretting it. I’m going back to work now. We’ll have to talk about what’s going to happen, about how to…’ She was going to say put an end to everything, but she couldn’t find a word that fitted. ‘But I don’t want to do it today. If you can’t find a place to stay tonight, I’ll go to
Peter shook his head and ran his hands through his hair. For the moment he was silenced.
It was the girl who spoke first. ‘Look, what can I say?’
She had one of those low, drawling voices. Alice knew that it must be her car parked outside, probably a twentyfirst present from Daddy. Pete liked girls who weren’t going to rely on him for support. She belonged in that category herself. The thought struck a shiver of bewildered amusement through her and when he glimpsed it in her face Pete winced and said in a thick voice, ‘Al, you know, it isn’t…’
‘It isn’t what I think? Is that what you’re going to say?’
He held up his hand. ‘Georgia, you’d better go.’
With a part of her mind Alice was noticing how pretty she was and how young she looked. In contrast to this glowing girl she felt old and dull. She was also surprised by Georgia’s self-possession. She had hitched her bag over her shoulderand now she was looking coolly around the little room to see if she had dropped anything else. She leaned across and pressed a button to eject the disc from the player. When she had tucked it inside her bag she stood facing Pete with her back to Alice. Alice gazed at the graceful lines of her neck and narrow shoulders.
‘When will I see you again?’
He had the grace to look uncomfortable. ‘I don’t know. Perhaps not for a bit.’
‘I see. Well, then, I’ll call you.’ She turned away and glanced at Alice. ‘I’m sorry, I really am. It wasn’t intended to be like this. But all’s fair, as the saying goes.’
Then she left.
What does one say now? Alice wondered. Pete was waiting, ready to take his cue from her. He looked like a schoolboy anticipating a scolding, half truculent and half defiant. She wanted to tell him that he was an adult, a grown man. He couldn’t get away with being a naughty boy for ever.
‘I came over because my mother’s not well. I’m worried about her. I was thinking we could have lunch. Just a sandwich or something.’
Her words fell into the space between them. Pete’s expression changed to one of relief, reprieve.
‘Of course we can. Come on. Where would you like to go?’
‘What? No. I don’t want to go anywhere. That was before I saw…what I just saw.’
He rushed in: ‘Al, believe me, it’s one of those dumb things, it doesn’t mean anything.’
‘It’s just a dick thing?’
His face flushed. ‘No. Well, if you want to call it that, yes. I suppose.’
‘How many?’
‘How many times? For God’s sake. She’s just a student.’
‘I meant how many other women.’
‘Alice, please. What do you think I am? I’m with you, I love you .’
She stared at him. She wanted to have him put his arms round her and hear him saying that this was all a mistake – not in the guilty, formulaic way that he was saying it now, but in a way that meant she could believe him. And at the same time she knew that this was utterly unrealistic because she would never be able to believe what he told her, never again, no matter what he said. He had lied to her and he was lying to her now.
When he had finished protesting she listened carefully. She thought she could hear a tiny, feathery whisper. It was the sound of her illusions, softly collapsing.
‘I don’t think so,’ she said.
He thumped his clenched fist on the bench. It was a theatrical gesture. ‘Listen, I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. It was a mistake and I was regretting it even before you walked in. But it happens.’ The way an avalanche happens, or a thunderstorm, presumably. A natural cataclysm that was beyond his control.
Alice said carefully, ‘You didn’t look as though you were regretting it. I’m going back to work now. We’ll have to talk about what’s going to happen, about how to…’ She was going to say put an end to everything, but she couldn’t find a word that fitted. ‘But I don’t want to do it today. If you can’t find a place to stay tonight, I’ll go to
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