with on all these occasions is grief.’
Phoenix! After the death-head warning of Wednesday, alarm bells rang and I stayed well away from that topic.
Instead Kim and I talked through my early, preteenagedtrauma and I came out believing maybe I wasn’t responsible for my dad dumping me and Laura, which in some weird way had gotten etched into my brain right from the start. ‘You didn’t do anything wrong,’ Kim told me clearly. And with that weight off my shoulders I left her office feeling lighter, a little easier in my mind.
After the session I was heading straight into school for an afternoon rehearsal but I got diverted because while I was driving through town I saw Zak Rohr hanging out with a couple of older kids outside the gas station where Phoenix had died. I pulled right over and leaned out.
‘Why aren’t you in school?’ I asked him, sounding like Jim’n’Laura and with Phoenix’s words ringing in my ears – ‘Zak needs all the help he can get.’
Zak shot me a look of contempt. His buddies made nasty signals in my direction.
‘Get in the car,’ I told him. ‘We need to talk.’
I guess Zak was partly swayed by the temptation of a ride in my shiny red car. He hesitated and tried not to lose face, but a couple of seconds later he was opening the passenger door and sliding on to the cream leather seat. ‘Cradle snatcher!’ his buddies jeered at me as I drove off. Einsteins they were not.
‘So, did you start any more fires lately?’ My idea as Idrove Zak out of town was to get down to basics.
He turned down the corners of his mouth then slouched further down into the deep seat. ‘Why did Brandon give you this car?’ he wanted to know.
‘Because my old one broke.’
‘So?’
‘So he looks after me, I guess.’
‘How come?’
‘Because of Phoenix.’
‘Crap,’ Zak grunted. ‘Mom’s car broke. Brandon didn’t buy her a new convertible.’
‘He got this car from a guy he knows. I don’t know if money was involved – maybe the guy owed your brother a favour.’ We left the urban road and headed out to Hartmann Overlook where I knew we could park and continue our talk. It was good to leave the houses behind and feel the wind in our hair.
‘Listen, Zak, I want to help you.’
‘Can you get the cops off my back?’ he demanded, assuming the familiar Rohr position of leaning back in the seat and resting his feet up on the dashboard. In fact though, when I looked closely he was no junior version of Phoenix. He had lighter hair and brown eyes and, at thirteen, he was still scrawny, with that awkward thinwrists-big-hands adolescent thing going on.
‘I can try,’ I told him. ‘Give me a name.’
‘Jardine. He’s deputy sheriff.’
I made a mental note and carried on. ‘Is he planning to charge you?’
‘Maybe. Jacob says they don’t have the evidence.’
‘Jacob is one of those guys back at the gas station?’
Drawing his sunglasses out of his jacket pocket, Zak put them on to improve the match with Phoenix. It struck me that he was doing this on purpose – deliberately identifying with his dead big brother. I even had a suspicion that these were Phoenix’s own glasses. ‘Jacob set the fire. I stood by with Taylor and watched.’
‘Did you try to stop him?’
Zak shrugged and waited for me to turn off the road at the overlook. Behind his shades and with his feet still up, he succeeded in looking downright unimpressed with the panoramic view of mountains and lake. He changed the subject, back to what interested him. ‘So Phoenix told Brandon to take care of you,’ he guessed.
My heart missed a beat and I gripped the steering wheel. ‘Yeah,’ I admitted. ‘That’s pretty much the way it was.’
‘When he lay dying?’
I winced, then nodded.
‘So Brandon doesn’t want you to be his girl?’
I couldn’t help letting out a sudden yelp of laughter at Zak’s naivety. ‘Do I look like Brandon’s type?’ Brandon Rohr rode a Harley and wore
Phoenix! After the death-head warning of Wednesday, alarm bells rang and I stayed well away from that topic.
Instead Kim and I talked through my early, preteenagedtrauma and I came out believing maybe I wasn’t responsible for my dad dumping me and Laura, which in some weird way had gotten etched into my brain right from the start. ‘You didn’t do anything wrong,’ Kim told me clearly. And with that weight off my shoulders I left her office feeling lighter, a little easier in my mind.
After the session I was heading straight into school for an afternoon rehearsal but I got diverted because while I was driving through town I saw Zak Rohr hanging out with a couple of older kids outside the gas station where Phoenix had died. I pulled right over and leaned out.
‘Why aren’t you in school?’ I asked him, sounding like Jim’n’Laura and with Phoenix’s words ringing in my ears – ‘Zak needs all the help he can get.’
Zak shot me a look of contempt. His buddies made nasty signals in my direction.
‘Get in the car,’ I told him. ‘We need to talk.’
I guess Zak was partly swayed by the temptation of a ride in my shiny red car. He hesitated and tried not to lose face, but a couple of seconds later he was opening the passenger door and sliding on to the cream leather seat. ‘Cradle snatcher!’ his buddies jeered at me as I drove off. Einsteins they were not.
‘So, did you start any more fires lately?’ My idea as Idrove Zak out of town was to get down to basics.
He turned down the corners of his mouth then slouched further down into the deep seat. ‘Why did Brandon give you this car?’ he wanted to know.
‘Because my old one broke.’
‘So?’
‘So he looks after me, I guess.’
‘How come?’
‘Because of Phoenix.’
‘Crap,’ Zak grunted. ‘Mom’s car broke. Brandon didn’t buy her a new convertible.’
‘He got this car from a guy he knows. I don’t know if money was involved – maybe the guy owed your brother a favour.’ We left the urban road and headed out to Hartmann Overlook where I knew we could park and continue our talk. It was good to leave the houses behind and feel the wind in our hair.
‘Listen, Zak, I want to help you.’
‘Can you get the cops off my back?’ he demanded, assuming the familiar Rohr position of leaning back in the seat and resting his feet up on the dashboard. In fact though, when I looked closely he was no junior version of Phoenix. He had lighter hair and brown eyes and, at thirteen, he was still scrawny, with that awkward thinwrists-big-hands adolescent thing going on.
‘I can try,’ I told him. ‘Give me a name.’
‘Jardine. He’s deputy sheriff.’
I made a mental note and carried on. ‘Is he planning to charge you?’
‘Maybe. Jacob says they don’t have the evidence.’
‘Jacob is one of those guys back at the gas station?’
Drawing his sunglasses out of his jacket pocket, Zak put them on to improve the match with Phoenix. It struck me that he was doing this on purpose – deliberately identifying with his dead big brother. I even had a suspicion that these were Phoenix’s own glasses. ‘Jacob set the fire. I stood by with Taylor and watched.’
‘Did you try to stop him?’
Zak shrugged and waited for me to turn off the road at the overlook. Behind his shades and with his feet still up, he succeeded in looking downright unimpressed with the panoramic view of mountains and lake. He changed the subject, back to what interested him. ‘So Phoenix told Brandon to take care of you,’ he guessed.
My heart missed a beat and I gripped the steering wheel. ‘Yeah,’ I admitted. ‘That’s pretty much the way it was.’
‘When he lay dying?’
I winced, then nodded.
‘So Brandon doesn’t want you to be his girl?’
I couldn’t help letting out a sudden yelp of laughter at Zak’s naivety. ‘Do I look like Brandon’s type?’ Brandon Rohr rode a Harley and wore
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