Jersey, where again the killer drove clean away.
It was something, but I knew Hunter would still want more, so I was glad of the interruption when Logan knocked on my front door and I went to let him in.
‘Hey,’ he said, making himself cosy at my kitchen table, just like the old days.
‘Hey.’ I got him a Coke from the fridge and sat down opposite. We dived straight into discussing details of the concert, then pretty soon strayed into less safe territory.
‘Summer should be here,’ I sighed, after Logan told me he was now note perfect on his solo. ‘We’re celebratingher music, her words – all we need is for her to be still with us.’
Logan took my hand across the table and I let him. He didn’t say anything. His hand felt broad and warm and comforting.
‘Did you know Laura sent me to see a therapist,’ I told him suddenly.
Logan shook his head. ‘How is it?’ he asked.
‘Cool. Her name is Kim Reiss. I like her. I shouldn’t be telling you this.’
‘Why? Haven’t we known each other for ever?’
I nodded. You’ll think I’m crazy.’
‘So what’s new?’
‘Thanks, Logan! I sit in my therapist’s yellow room on her leather couch and stuff comes pouring out – how I feel my life’s spinning out of control, how I’ll never reach where I want to be, somewhere safe with people I love.’
‘That’s not crazy. We all want that,’ he said quietly, still holding my hand across the table.
I had known him for ever, which is why I went too far along this route. ‘It started when my dad left home. I don’t understand – how could anyone do that, break up a family that way?’
‘I hear you. You were twelve years old.’
‘So how come I couldn’t stop him? Didn’t he love me? Well, I guess not, or he’d stay in touch. I don’t hear from him, did you know?’
‘Maybe it’s too hard for him.’
‘Too hard?’ Disbelief didn’t cover my reaction. I stared at Logan as if he was the one who’d done the deserting.
‘Some guys can’t do it – the visiting, the saying goodbye each time.’
I took a deep breath. ‘So again – why did he leave in the first place? I was twelve, for chrissake. And now Phoenix – gone!’ I made a sudden swerve into the red danger lane.
‘Don’t cry.’ Logan stayed where he was, except he put his other hand over mine. ‘Darina, don’t.’
‘You know the problem? I’m left wanting what I know I can’t have. That’s what hurts. Happy families, Darina? No chance. Staying with the guy you love? Sorry, not in your script. Tell me, Logan – what happened to the future Phoenix and I had together?’
‘All your dreams got shattered,’ Logan whispered. ‘One minute he was there, the next he was gone.’
I was sobbing now. ‘It’s not that simple,’ I wanted to tell him. ‘I have to tell you – Phoenix came back from beyond the grave. He’s out at Foxton with Summer right now right this second. They’re the Beautiful Dead!’
But Hunter sent in the storm troopers. The kitchen door blew open and slammed against the wall. I was blasted by an army of beating wings, which Logan couldn’t hear, and by a bank of death heads building up in the room, black eye sockets gaping, teeth grinning, sweeping down on me until I almost suffocated.
Logan got up quickly to shut the door.
‘No, no!’ I pleaded, getting to my feet and stumbling out on to the porch. The skulls were smothering me. I was hyperventilating, putting my arms over my head to protect myself.
Logan came after me and grabbed hold of me. He held me tight until the panic was over. ‘I’m here for you,’ he promised. ‘I won’t ever let you down.’
That Friday I talked to Kim about my father. ‘He left us for a woman named Karli Hamilton. Laura says she was the Barbie type. How shallow is that?’
‘It’s all about loss,’ Kim told me. ‘What you’re going through right now with Phoenix and Summer, what happened with your father – the emotion you’re dealing
It was something, but I knew Hunter would still want more, so I was glad of the interruption when Logan knocked on my front door and I went to let him in.
‘Hey,’ he said, making himself cosy at my kitchen table, just like the old days.
‘Hey.’ I got him a Coke from the fridge and sat down opposite. We dived straight into discussing details of the concert, then pretty soon strayed into less safe territory.
‘Summer should be here,’ I sighed, after Logan told me he was now note perfect on his solo. ‘We’re celebratingher music, her words – all we need is for her to be still with us.’
Logan took my hand across the table and I let him. He didn’t say anything. His hand felt broad and warm and comforting.
‘Did you know Laura sent me to see a therapist,’ I told him suddenly.
Logan shook his head. ‘How is it?’ he asked.
‘Cool. Her name is Kim Reiss. I like her. I shouldn’t be telling you this.’
‘Why? Haven’t we known each other for ever?’
I nodded. You’ll think I’m crazy.’
‘So what’s new?’
‘Thanks, Logan! I sit in my therapist’s yellow room on her leather couch and stuff comes pouring out – how I feel my life’s spinning out of control, how I’ll never reach where I want to be, somewhere safe with people I love.’
‘That’s not crazy. We all want that,’ he said quietly, still holding my hand across the table.
I had known him for ever, which is why I went too far along this route. ‘It started when my dad left home. I don’t understand – how could anyone do that, break up a family that way?’
‘I hear you. You were twelve years old.’
‘So how come I couldn’t stop him? Didn’t he love me? Well, I guess not, or he’d stay in touch. I don’t hear from him, did you know?’
‘Maybe it’s too hard for him.’
‘Too hard?’ Disbelief didn’t cover my reaction. I stared at Logan as if he was the one who’d done the deserting.
‘Some guys can’t do it – the visiting, the saying goodbye each time.’
I took a deep breath. ‘So again – why did he leave in the first place? I was twelve, for chrissake. And now Phoenix – gone!’ I made a sudden swerve into the red danger lane.
‘Don’t cry.’ Logan stayed where he was, except he put his other hand over mine. ‘Darina, don’t.’
‘You know the problem? I’m left wanting what I know I can’t have. That’s what hurts. Happy families, Darina? No chance. Staying with the guy you love? Sorry, not in your script. Tell me, Logan – what happened to the future Phoenix and I had together?’
‘All your dreams got shattered,’ Logan whispered. ‘One minute he was there, the next he was gone.’
I was sobbing now. ‘It’s not that simple,’ I wanted to tell him. ‘I have to tell you – Phoenix came back from beyond the grave. He’s out at Foxton with Summer right now right this second. They’re the Beautiful Dead!’
But Hunter sent in the storm troopers. The kitchen door blew open and slammed against the wall. I was blasted by an army of beating wings, which Logan couldn’t hear, and by a bank of death heads building up in the room, black eye sockets gaping, teeth grinning, sweeping down on me until I almost suffocated.
Logan got up quickly to shut the door.
‘No, no!’ I pleaded, getting to my feet and stumbling out on to the porch. The skulls were smothering me. I was hyperventilating, putting my arms over my head to protect myself.
Logan came after me and grabbed hold of me. He held me tight until the panic was over. ‘I’m here for you,’ he promised. ‘I won’t ever let you down.’
That Friday I talked to Kim about my father. ‘He left us for a woman named Karli Hamilton. Laura says she was the Barbie type. How shallow is that?’
‘It’s all about loss,’ Kim told me. ‘What you’re going through right now with Phoenix and Summer, what happened with your father – the emotion you’re dealing
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