Read Online Sudden Death by David Rosenfelt - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: David Rosenfelt
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her possible move back to Findlay since the night of that stupid eclipse. I keep forming sentences to address it, but none of them sound right while taking the route to my mouth, so I don’t let them out.
“This is so nice,” Laurie says with total accuracy.
I need to let her feel how nice this is without saying anything about the possibility of her leaving and ruining it. I have to let her deal with this on her own; my advocating a position is not going to help. “It is nice,” I agree. “Completely nice. Totally nice. As long as you and I and Tara live here in New Jersey, we will have this permanent niceness.” In case you haven’t noticed by now, I’m an idiot.
“Andy…,” she says in a gentle admonishment. Then, “I do love you, you know.”
“I know,” I lie, since that is no longer something I know. I’ve pretty much broken it down to a simple proposition: If she stays, she loves me; if she leaves, she doesn’t.
Usually, we have CNN on as background noise, but lately, we’re unable to do that because their policy seems to be “all Kenny Schilling, all the time.” Nobody on these shows has any knowledge whatsoever about the case, but that doesn’t stop them from predicting a conviction.
I get up and walk around the house, bringing my wineglass with me. I grew up in this house, then lived in two apartments and two houses before coming back here. I could barely describe anything about those other places, yet I know every square inch of this house. Even when I wasn’t living here, it was completely vivid in my mind.
No matter what I look at, the memories come flooding back. Wiffle ball games, playing gin with my father, stoopball, trying a puff of a cigarette in the basement, eating my mother’s cinnamon cake, having the Silvers, our next-door neighbors, over to watch baseball games on TV… my history was played out here. I left it behind me once, and I won’t do so again.
I am painfully aware that Laurie’s history is in Findlay. Not in a house, maybe, and I’m sure that her memories aren’t as relentlessly pleasant as are mine. But it is where she became who she is, and she’s being drawn back to it. I understand it all too well.
I need to stop thinking about it. She will make her decision, one way or the other, and that will be that. If my mother were alive, she would say, “Whatever happens, it’s all for the best.” I never believed it when she used to say it, and I don’t believe it now. If Laurie leaves, it will not be for the best. It will be unacceptably awful, but I will accept it. Kicking and screaming, I will accept it.
I wake up in the morning resolved to focus on nothing but Kenny Schilling. My first stop is out to the jail to talk with him. He’s less anxious and frightened than the last time I saw him, but more withdrawn and depressed. These are common reactions, and they must have something to do with the self-protective nature of the human mind.
I begin by telling him that I have decided to stay on his case, though he had always assumed that I would. I lay out my considerable fees for him, and he nods without any real reaction at all. Money is not an issue for him right now, though until a month ago he was a relatively low-paid player. The Giants are sticking with him and paying him according to his huge new contract. As far as my fees go, if I get him acquitted, it will be the best money he ever spent. If he’s convicted, all the money in the world won’t help him.
With the money issue out of the way, I start my questioning. “So tell me about the drugs,” I say.
“There weren’t any. I don’t do drugs.”
“They were found in your blood. The same drug was found in Troy Preston.”
“They’re lying. They’re trying to put me away.”
“Who’s they?” I ask.
“The police.”
“Why would the police want to put you away?”
“I don’t know. But I didn’t take no drugs.”
His insistence on this point is surprising. Drug use in itself
“This is so nice,” Laurie says with total accuracy.
I need to let her feel how nice this is without saying anything about the possibility of her leaving and ruining it. I have to let her deal with this on her own; my advocating a position is not going to help. “It is nice,” I agree. “Completely nice. Totally nice. As long as you and I and Tara live here in New Jersey, we will have this permanent niceness.” In case you haven’t noticed by now, I’m an idiot.
“Andy…,” she says in a gentle admonishment. Then, “I do love you, you know.”
“I know,” I lie, since that is no longer something I know. I’ve pretty much broken it down to a simple proposition: If she stays, she loves me; if she leaves, she doesn’t.
Usually, we have CNN on as background noise, but lately, we’re unable to do that because their policy seems to be “all Kenny Schilling, all the time.” Nobody on these shows has any knowledge whatsoever about the case, but that doesn’t stop them from predicting a conviction.
I get up and walk around the house, bringing my wineglass with me. I grew up in this house, then lived in two apartments and two houses before coming back here. I could barely describe anything about those other places, yet I know every square inch of this house. Even when I wasn’t living here, it was completely vivid in my mind.
No matter what I look at, the memories come flooding back. Wiffle ball games, playing gin with my father, stoopball, trying a puff of a cigarette in the basement, eating my mother’s cinnamon cake, having the Silvers, our next-door neighbors, over to watch baseball games on TV… my history was played out here. I left it behind me once, and I won’t do so again.
I am painfully aware that Laurie’s history is in Findlay. Not in a house, maybe, and I’m sure that her memories aren’t as relentlessly pleasant as are mine. But it is where she became who she is, and she’s being drawn back to it. I understand it all too well.
I need to stop thinking about it. She will make her decision, one way or the other, and that will be that. If my mother were alive, she would say, “Whatever happens, it’s all for the best.” I never believed it when she used to say it, and I don’t believe it now. If Laurie leaves, it will not be for the best. It will be unacceptably awful, but I will accept it. Kicking and screaming, I will accept it.
I wake up in the morning resolved to focus on nothing but Kenny Schilling. My first stop is out to the jail to talk with him. He’s less anxious and frightened than the last time I saw him, but more withdrawn and depressed. These are common reactions, and they must have something to do with the self-protective nature of the human mind.
I begin by telling him that I have decided to stay on his case, though he had always assumed that I would. I lay out my considerable fees for him, and he nods without any real reaction at all. Money is not an issue for him right now, though until a month ago he was a relatively low-paid player. The Giants are sticking with him and paying him according to his huge new contract. As far as my fees go, if I get him acquitted, it will be the best money he ever spent. If he’s convicted, all the money in the world won’t help him.
With the money issue out of the way, I start my questioning. “So tell me about the drugs,” I say.
“There weren’t any. I don’t do drugs.”
“They were found in your blood. The same drug was found in Troy Preston.”
“They’re lying. They’re trying to put me away.”
“Who’s they?” I ask.
“The police.”
“Why would the police want to put you away?”
“I don’t know. But I didn’t take no drugs.”
His insistence on this point is surprising. Drug use in itself
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