such a clever and affectionate woman to be taken like this.
‘Hello, darling,’ she said. Her voice was surprisingly strong as was the sparkle in her eyes. ‘You look so tired, Carina. You should try to rest, you know.’
What in Hades was I supposed to say to that? Nothing adequate presented itself, so I said nothing. I just held her skeleton’s hand.
‘I’m fine, Nonna, really,’ I lied after a few minutes. ‘I have to go to the security committee session this afternoon and the documents were giving me a headache.’
‘Really? That’s it?’ I felt her eyes delving under my facade. ‘I don’t think that’s everything, is it?’
‘No,’ I admitted, ‘but I have something I need to sort out in the family and I haven’t worked out what or how to do it. But I don’t want to bother you with it.’
She snorted. More like a wheeze, but effective enough. ‘I’m not on my bier yet, Carina. So tell me, please.’ She never sounded more clipped as then. She was back in her role as head of a rich and powerful family with connections and influence all the way up to the top. She had more steel in her poor wasted hand than most had between their head and tail.
When I’d finished, she gave me a steady look.
‘I know you felt you didn’t have much choice, but I don’t think you handled it very well, darling.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘It was a mistake to confront him as soon as you got back. I would have carried on my investigation behind the scenes for a little longer.’
I was hurt by her analysis; I was considered a strategic specialist. Maybe I’d lost my edge during the past two years I’d commanded Operations. Or let my deep concern for Conrad interfere with logic. But no way was I going to start a major argument with her. I didn’t go for the old and dying.
‘Somebody cut your tongue out?’ Her eyes glittered almost maliciously. ‘Too scared to fight me?’
‘You’re impossible! Of course I can’t fight you, you’re—’
‘Yes?’
‘You are so unfair, Nonna.’
‘Yes, I know, but you’re so vulnerable, Carina, it’s irresistible.’
‘Well, behave yourself, Nonna, and try to help me out here.’
‘Only if you stop being sentimental and pretending I’m not dying. You’re wasting both our time.’
I choked on my next breath and felt my eyes tearing. She sent me an incinerating look. I drew myself up, swallowed and looked straight at her.
‘Better,’ she observed. ‘Now, try and rescue some brains cells from the sloppy mush in your head and listen to me. Conrad has reached some kind of crisis, perhaps something from his past and the letter from this girl has triggered it. Your grandfather, Euralbius, went through a similar phase, so I know what I’m talking about. They do get over it, so long as you keep your head.’
I stroked her hand, blessing myself again for her wisdom and hard-headedness.
‘Try very hard not to oppose him directly. It’s like dealing with an adolescent, but a lot more serious. I’m not telling you to submit in any way. Be patient, but clever.’ She gave me a measured look. ‘You’re crafty enough to be able to work this out, Carina. I suppose you’ve gone soft worrying about me. Well, you can stop that, right now. You’re going to have to concentrate.’
How did she do this? I know she was a bone-and-blood Roman, but such toughness and selflessness was beyond anything. If I could behave one tenth as well, I should be very proud.
The next moment, she wilted, sinking into the cream lace-edged pillows. It was a small vanity of hers to have wide swathes of hand-made lace to frame her sleep. I would have bought her an ocean of it if it would have taken this evil disease away.
V
Checking my mails next morning, one sprang out at me – Conrad’s executive officer, Rusonia, asking me to call by his office ‘as soon as convenient’. Which meant now. I glanced at my watch. It was barely seven thirty. What was so urgent? He’d come home
‘Hello, darling,’ she said. Her voice was surprisingly strong as was the sparkle in her eyes. ‘You look so tired, Carina. You should try to rest, you know.’
What in Hades was I supposed to say to that? Nothing adequate presented itself, so I said nothing. I just held her skeleton’s hand.
‘I’m fine, Nonna, really,’ I lied after a few minutes. ‘I have to go to the security committee session this afternoon and the documents were giving me a headache.’
‘Really? That’s it?’ I felt her eyes delving under my facade. ‘I don’t think that’s everything, is it?’
‘No,’ I admitted, ‘but I have something I need to sort out in the family and I haven’t worked out what or how to do it. But I don’t want to bother you with it.’
She snorted. More like a wheeze, but effective enough. ‘I’m not on my bier yet, Carina. So tell me, please.’ She never sounded more clipped as then. She was back in her role as head of a rich and powerful family with connections and influence all the way up to the top. She had more steel in her poor wasted hand than most had between their head and tail.
When I’d finished, she gave me a steady look.
‘I know you felt you didn’t have much choice, but I don’t think you handled it very well, darling.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘It was a mistake to confront him as soon as you got back. I would have carried on my investigation behind the scenes for a little longer.’
I was hurt by her analysis; I was considered a strategic specialist. Maybe I’d lost my edge during the past two years I’d commanded Operations. Or let my deep concern for Conrad interfere with logic. But no way was I going to start a major argument with her. I didn’t go for the old and dying.
‘Somebody cut your tongue out?’ Her eyes glittered almost maliciously. ‘Too scared to fight me?’
‘You’re impossible! Of course I can’t fight you, you’re—’
‘Yes?’
‘You are so unfair, Nonna.’
‘Yes, I know, but you’re so vulnerable, Carina, it’s irresistible.’
‘Well, behave yourself, Nonna, and try to help me out here.’
‘Only if you stop being sentimental and pretending I’m not dying. You’re wasting both our time.’
I choked on my next breath and felt my eyes tearing. She sent me an incinerating look. I drew myself up, swallowed and looked straight at her.
‘Better,’ she observed. ‘Now, try and rescue some brains cells from the sloppy mush in your head and listen to me. Conrad has reached some kind of crisis, perhaps something from his past and the letter from this girl has triggered it. Your grandfather, Euralbius, went through a similar phase, so I know what I’m talking about. They do get over it, so long as you keep your head.’
I stroked her hand, blessing myself again for her wisdom and hard-headedness.
‘Try very hard not to oppose him directly. It’s like dealing with an adolescent, but a lot more serious. I’m not telling you to submit in any way. Be patient, but clever.’ She gave me a measured look. ‘You’re crafty enough to be able to work this out, Carina. I suppose you’ve gone soft worrying about me. Well, you can stop that, right now. You’re going to have to concentrate.’
How did she do this? I know she was a bone-and-blood Roman, but such toughness and selflessness was beyond anything. If I could behave one tenth as well, I should be very proud.
The next moment, she wilted, sinking into the cream lace-edged pillows. It was a small vanity of hers to have wide swathes of hand-made lace to frame her sleep. I would have bought her an ocean of it if it would have taken this evil disease away.
V
Checking my mails next morning, one sprang out at me – Conrad’s executive officer, Rusonia, asking me to call by his office ‘as soon as convenient’. Which meant now. I glanced at my watch. It was barely seven thirty. What was so urgent? He’d come home
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