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Authors: Afton Locke
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me.
The room is completely dark because the drapes are drawn.
It’s as if we’ve entered a private cave, hidden from the world. This is it, I
think as Carlos flips on a dim lamp. We’re really going to do this. We’re
going to have sex.
“Come in and make yourself comfortable,” he says.
I stay where I am but gaze around the room, noticing with
approval how neat he is. His clothes hang in the closet and his toiletries are
laid out on one corner of the sink. The smoky-brown bottle probably contains
the mysterious mesquite scent. I wish he were a slob so I could tell myself it
would never work between us.
It doesn’t take long for my attention to stumble across the
centerpiece of the room, the large bed. Is it another stage? Is the perfectly
pressed red cover the curtain? Unlike the platforms we shared for the photo
shoot and lap dance, this one is completely private.
What if he doesn’t like my performance?
“I’ve never done this before,” I whisper.
His eyebrows lift. “You’re a virgin, Janice?”
“N-no. I mean, not like this.”
I’ve never had sex with someone I barely know. It’s too bad
I can’t ask Zena what it’s like. I’m sure she’s had a few flings. Won’t it be
awkward having sex with someone I barely know? He won’t know what pleases me or
vice versa.
And what about afterward? I’ll probably never see him again.
Can I live with that? If I turned into an emotional wreck from being kissed in
the hall last night, what in the world would sex do to me?
I’ll never forget Carlos if I sleep with him. How can I hold
down my job with that kind of emotional pain and distraction?
He walks toward me and holds out a hand. “Janice, are you
all right?”
I shake my head and grip the back of the door I lean
against. How can I give up this opportunity for what’ll probably be the biggest
thrill of my life? Weeks of drudgery stretch before me. Work, go home, worry
about work and sleep just to do it all over again the next day.
It doesn’t matter. Work and security have to come first.
I’ve had my fun this weekend. It would have to be enough.
But unshed tears leak down the back of my throat because
I’ve never wanted anything or anyone so much.
“I’m sorry, Carlos. I can’t do this.”
Chapter Five
Carlos steps toward me. His arms hang at awkward angles as
if he’s ill at ease. And whose fault is that? I won the chance a hundred women
down there would kill for and I just blew it.
“We don’t have to have sex, Janice,” he says softly.
I turn and grab the doorknob. “I should go and…stop wasting
your time.”
“Stay.”
My grip freezes at that one word.
He shrugs, reminding me of an awkward boy again. “We could
get to know each other a little. I don’t want to say goodbye yet.”
If I stay in this room, I’m going to have sex. I
don’t know who or what tells me this, but I believe it. I’m also not ready to
say goodbye. So what are we supposed to do for the next hour and change? Play
cards?
“Me either,” I reply.
He stands close to me, a dim shape in the shadowy doorway.
Why do we always end up near doors? He’s so close now I hear and feel his
breath.
“Your shoulders look tense. I’m pretty good at massage.”
I bet you are. He places his hands on them. His
fingers are so warm and light the bones, sinews and muscles melt beneath his
touch. I nod. More. More. I need more.
“Would you like to sit down?” he offers.
We’re so formal and awkward this should be a scene in a
comedy. Once I’m seated in one of the two padded armchairs, I take a deep
breath. I’m safer here. Standing up, it’s too easy to press my body against the
length of his and fall into bed.
I close my eyes as his hands work magic from my neck to my
shoulders. When is the last time I’ve had one of these? I could easily enjoy
this for the next two hours. When he pauses, my eyes fly open. It can’t be over
already.
“You know, I could do a much better job if I touch
The room is completely dark because the drapes are drawn.
It’s as if we’ve entered a private cave, hidden from the world. This is it, I
think as Carlos flips on a dim lamp. We’re really going to do this. We’re
going to have sex.
“Come in and make yourself comfortable,” he says.
I stay where I am but gaze around the room, noticing with
approval how neat he is. His clothes hang in the closet and his toiletries are
laid out on one corner of the sink. The smoky-brown bottle probably contains
the mysterious mesquite scent. I wish he were a slob so I could tell myself it
would never work between us.
It doesn’t take long for my attention to stumble across the
centerpiece of the room, the large bed. Is it another stage? Is the perfectly
pressed red cover the curtain? Unlike the platforms we shared for the photo
shoot and lap dance, this one is completely private.
What if he doesn’t like my performance?
“I’ve never done this before,” I whisper.
His eyebrows lift. “You’re a virgin, Janice?”
“N-no. I mean, not like this.”
I’ve never had sex with someone I barely know. It’s too bad
I can’t ask Zena what it’s like. I’m sure she’s had a few flings. Won’t it be
awkward having sex with someone I barely know? He won’t know what pleases me or
vice versa.
And what about afterward? I’ll probably never see him again.
Can I live with that? If I turned into an emotional wreck from being kissed in
the hall last night, what in the world would sex do to me?
I’ll never forget Carlos if I sleep with him. How can I hold
down my job with that kind of emotional pain and distraction?
He walks toward me and holds out a hand. “Janice, are you
all right?”
I shake my head and grip the back of the door I lean
against. How can I give up this opportunity for what’ll probably be the biggest
thrill of my life? Weeks of drudgery stretch before me. Work, go home, worry
about work and sleep just to do it all over again the next day.
It doesn’t matter. Work and security have to come first.
I’ve had my fun this weekend. It would have to be enough.
But unshed tears leak down the back of my throat because
I’ve never wanted anything or anyone so much.
“I’m sorry, Carlos. I can’t do this.”
Chapter Five
Carlos steps toward me. His arms hang at awkward angles as
if he’s ill at ease. And whose fault is that? I won the chance a hundred women
down there would kill for and I just blew it.
“We don’t have to have sex, Janice,” he says softly.
I turn and grab the doorknob. “I should go and…stop wasting
your time.”
“Stay.”
My grip freezes at that one word.
He shrugs, reminding me of an awkward boy again. “We could
get to know each other a little. I don’t want to say goodbye yet.”
If I stay in this room, I’m going to have sex. I
don’t know who or what tells me this, but I believe it. I’m also not ready to
say goodbye. So what are we supposed to do for the next hour and change? Play
cards?
“Me either,” I reply.
He stands close to me, a dim shape in the shadowy doorway.
Why do we always end up near doors? He’s so close now I hear and feel his
breath.
“Your shoulders look tense. I’m pretty good at massage.”
I bet you are. He places his hands on them. His
fingers are so warm and light the bones, sinews and muscles melt beneath his
touch. I nod. More. More. I need more.
“Would you like to sit down?” he offers.
We’re so formal and awkward this should be a scene in a
comedy. Once I’m seated in one of the two padded armchairs, I take a deep
breath. I’m safer here. Standing up, it’s too easy to press my body against the
length of his and fall into bed.
I close my eyes as his hands work magic from my neck to my
shoulders. When is the last time I’ve had one of these? I could easily enjoy
this for the next two hours. When he pauses, my eyes fly open. It can’t be over
already.
“You know, I could do a much better job if I touch
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