Read Online Stricken Resolve by S.K. Logsdon - Free Book Online Page B

tears, as are mine.
    Pressing my lips to his, we hold the
connection. Both of us closing our eyes and swallowing up one
another. For one last time. Another crack splinters my heart as he
pulls away. I put a death grip on his shirt. But he’s too strong
and stands. My fingers slipping from the cottony fabric.
    Sucking in a deep audible breath, he walks to
the door, opens it. Turning around he looks at me. His reddened
eyes pouring in hot tears, swimming his gaze into mine. His lip
quivers.
    Floating in the watery depths of his hazel
eyes my dam breaks, tears free flowing down my cheeks. The anguish
of loss crackling in the air.
    “You will always be with me,” he mutters and
leaves. Shutting the door in his wake.
    NO!!!!!!!
    My heart suddenly explodes into a million
fragmented agony laden pieces and I jump out of bed. The sheet
wrapped around my naked body. I sprint to the door and heave it
open.
    “JAMES!!!” I scream, through tear soaked
cries. “JAMES!”
    I pound my way out of the doorway and into
the hall, frantically seeking him. I have to find him. He can’t
leave us! He’s our Papa Bear.
    “Emily.” Nurse Shelly comes after me. And I
run away from her, the opposite direction. Down the white encased
sterile hallway in only my bed sheet. My bare feet slapping hard on
the ground.
    This can’t be happening. Not to me! I just
found him!
    “James!” I screech. Stopping at the end,
looking down the four ways. Where did he go? He just left!
    “Emily!” Shelly and Diane come sprinting
after me, in their white hospital scrubs. Blue stethoscopes draped
around their necks.
    “I need to find my James… Have you seen
him?!” I turn to them, snot running out of my nose, over my lips.
My hysterical sobs echoing in the halls. A never ending stream of
salty tears running rapid down my face and neck.
    I need to find him. Where’s my James?
    “Emily?” They slow, as they get close me.
Taking small steps.
    “Where is he?!” I growl at them, like a…like
a Mama Bear. My eyes fierce with determination.
    “They took him. He’s gone.” They both speak
simultaneously in soft but firm tones.
    “They who? The government?”
    “Let’s just get you back to bed Mama, you
shouldn’t be up and moving around this quickly after having
surgery.”
    Shelly moves marginally closer. Her chocolate
eyes matted with notable affliction.
    “Please Emily, you need to get some clothes
on.” Diane adds, side stepping around me. Taking place behind me
like a wild animal stalks its next meal.
    What is she doing?
    “I don’t want to go to bed! And you can’t
make me!” I announce firmly standing my ground. The ground that
feels as if it’s disintegrating right from under me. As my new
life’s realizations take root and sprout truths into my mind’s
eye.
    He. Is. Gone.
    I was his and he mine. But now he’s no more.
There is no more James and Emily. Or Papa and Mama Bear. No more
midnight kisses, or wee hours of the morning pillow talks. No more
spoon-fed peanut butter nights in bed. No more I love you’s and
soul seeping chest warmth.
    As the awareness blooms blackened petals, my
tear blurred vision hazes into blood smeared existence.
    Sucking in a deep breath I cry out in a full
body throbbing misery immersed release of my soul. With it, the
pieces of my shattered heart and broken dreams drift away into the
oblivion of my once picturesque life.
    A dark and dank inky blackness takes its
place. The only shining light and glimmer of hope life is the love
for my blessed new born children.
    “Why is this happening to me?” I blubber out
in a shallow whisper, and collapse onto a heap on the white
linoleum.
    Nurse’s hands find me. Pulling at me.
Speaking to me. But I can’t hear them.
    I stare at nothing as the tears keep
coming.
    “James…James…,” I babble incoherently.
    I don’t know what’s happening to me. Why does
it hurt so bad?
    They lift me into a wheelchair and wheel me
back to my room.
    “James… James.” I