Read Online Straight Life by Art Pepper; Laurie Pepper - Free Book Online
Authors: Art Pepper; Laurie Pepper
Tags: Autobiography
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house set way back on a big lot. We were playing around and were just about to the point where I was going to fuck her when all of a sudden here comes her dad out of the house with her mother. Her mother was hysterical. Her father screamed, "We're at war!" The Japanese had just bombed Pearl Harbor and a bunch of our battleships were sunk and thousands of Americans killed. Delano Roosevelt was going to declare war.
The war started, and they were having blackouts in San Pedro because of Fort MacArthur and the harbor. The girl left town with her family. I felt that something could have happened with her. I went back to the window peeping, and I ran into some terrible experiences with dogs chasing me, and I thought I was really hung up to be like that. But then one day I ran into Patti in study hall, and the feeling I'd wanted was there. And I changed levels from the way I'd been, preferring fantasizing to the actual act, and I realized that that had been because I didn't care for the girls, that it was the combination of sex and love that made it wonderful. And that's the way it proved out.
Because I was working so much, playing music, my grandmother and I moved to Los Angeles so I could be closer to the jobs, and in 1941 we were living on Seventy-third Street between Towne and San Pedro and I was going, on and off, to Fremont High School.
I had no friends at Fremont. I went because I had to go. I might as well have been on a desert island. But one day in study hall I looked around and saw a girl sitting at one of the desks. I looked and there she was, the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. I started ti.inking about her. I'd think about her at night and everything, you know, but she was a "nice girl" and the only kind of girl I could have anything to do with would be a bad girl, a nasty girl. I started sitting behind her in study hall, and one day she turned around and talked to me. She asked some little silly question about math or did I have a pencil. I wasn't able to speak to her. I started sweating. I couldn't look her in the eye. I mumbled something. About a week later, I walked into class a few minutes early and she was there. She said, "I don't feel like studying today." I said, "I don't feel like studying either." It just came out before I realized I was being intimate with her in replying like that. She said, "Why don't we leave and go someplace else?" We got up and walked out.
We left the school. I kept looking at her thinking how beautiful she was. I couldn't believe I was actually with her, and every now and then I'd brush my hand against her arm. Her teeth were white; they sparkled. Her eyes-the whites of them were almost a blue-white. She had dimples and this real innocent face, a kind of bewildered look on her face all the time. She had very light skin, no marks on it, and from the neck down ... What really moved me was she had a body at fifteen or sixteen that was a woman's body, full breasts, full hips, small waist, and she had a flirty look about her. She was a real flirt but I always thought that was just her way; later I interrogated her about it and she said she was a virgin. That really excited me. She had beautiful breasts and legs and skin and fingers and ears and it was almost more than I could stand. I didn't know why she had asked me to come out there, to leave the class, and I didn't know what to do, so we just walked around and talked and she told me about herself. She said her name was Madeleine Moore but to call her Patti because she didn't like Madeleine. So that was Patti.
She lived about twenty blocks from me. I walked her home, and we talked and talked and talked, and for the first time I began to doubt all the feelings I had about myself. She thought I was wonderful and that I was handsome; I could tell from the way she looked at me, from the way she acted. And she seemed like a nice girl. I was certain she was a nice girl and that she liked me. And it was so different from the night before
The war started, and they were having blackouts in San Pedro because of Fort MacArthur and the harbor. The girl left town with her family. I felt that something could have happened with her. I went back to the window peeping, and I ran into some terrible experiences with dogs chasing me, and I thought I was really hung up to be like that. But then one day I ran into Patti in study hall, and the feeling I'd wanted was there. And I changed levels from the way I'd been, preferring fantasizing to the actual act, and I realized that that had been because I didn't care for the girls, that it was the combination of sex and love that made it wonderful. And that's the way it proved out.
Because I was working so much, playing music, my grandmother and I moved to Los Angeles so I could be closer to the jobs, and in 1941 we were living on Seventy-third Street between Towne and San Pedro and I was going, on and off, to Fremont High School.
I had no friends at Fremont. I went because I had to go. I might as well have been on a desert island. But one day in study hall I looked around and saw a girl sitting at one of the desks. I looked and there she was, the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. I started ti.inking about her. I'd think about her at night and everything, you know, but she was a "nice girl" and the only kind of girl I could have anything to do with would be a bad girl, a nasty girl. I started sitting behind her in study hall, and one day she turned around and talked to me. She asked some little silly question about math or did I have a pencil. I wasn't able to speak to her. I started sweating. I couldn't look her in the eye. I mumbled something. About a week later, I walked into class a few minutes early and she was there. She said, "I don't feel like studying today." I said, "I don't feel like studying either." It just came out before I realized I was being intimate with her in replying like that. She said, "Why don't we leave and go someplace else?" We got up and walked out.
We left the school. I kept looking at her thinking how beautiful she was. I couldn't believe I was actually with her, and every now and then I'd brush my hand against her arm. Her teeth were white; they sparkled. Her eyes-the whites of them were almost a blue-white. She had dimples and this real innocent face, a kind of bewildered look on her face all the time. She had very light skin, no marks on it, and from the neck down ... What really moved me was she had a body at fifteen or sixteen that was a woman's body, full breasts, full hips, small waist, and she had a flirty look about her. She was a real flirt but I always thought that was just her way; later I interrogated her about it and she said she was a virgin. That really excited me. She had beautiful breasts and legs and skin and fingers and ears and it was almost more than I could stand. I didn't know why she had asked me to come out there, to leave the class, and I didn't know what to do, so we just walked around and talked and she told me about herself. She said her name was Madeleine Moore but to call her Patti because she didn't like Madeleine. So that was Patti.
She lived about twenty blocks from me. I walked her home, and we talked and talked and talked, and for the first time I began to doubt all the feelings I had about myself. She thought I was wonderful and that I was handsome; I could tell from the way she looked at me, from the way she acted. And she seemed like a nice girl. I was certain she was a nice girl and that she liked me. And it was so different from the night before
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