Still Surviving

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Authors: A.M. Johnson
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eyes met mine as she bit her bottom lip. She brought her mouth to my ear, and I shivered. “Let’s go to my place, I want to sketch something for you.” Her breath tickled my ear, and my dick responded. She let her fingertips graze the skin on my neck as she gradually let her hold around my neck fall. I felt her intake of breath as her hips pushed against me. She felt how much I wanted her, and, for the first time, I was embarrassed by my physical reaction.
    “Seth Montgomery, are you blushing.” Her smirk was sexy, teasing, and it made me want to throw her over my shoulder, take her to a dark corner, and show her that she didn’t have any power over me, that I’d have her begging me, calling my name, and coming against my mouth in less than three minutes.
    Instead I rolled my eyes. “You’re drunk.”
    “So are you.” She grabbed my hand and pulled me to the front of the bar. It was late enough that the cabs were lined up out front. “Ready?”
    No, I wasn’t ready. I was terrified.
    “Yeah, let’s get out of here.”
    The cab ride home felt too fast. I never once let go of her hand. It was… nice. Tiffany’s hands were soft and something about this moment was fragile, like if I let go, if I didn’t let myself feel this, it’d be something I’d always regret. I let her fingers stay laced with mine for the thirteen-minute drive back to her place — my thumb dusted across her knuckles. I let her trail her fingers up my arm as she rested her head against my chest. Once we were standing in her living room, I had to finally let my hand leave hers. We both looked down at the joining of our hands and watched as they separated. It was slow motion, it was reluctance, and it felt wrong to let go.
    She turned away from me and walked into her bedroom. I wasn’t sure if I should follow, but I did. For the first time in my life, I was nervous about being with a woman. Tiffany was getting a lot of my firsts tonight. We could ruin everything by sleeping together, and I wasn’t sure if I could trust myself with her. She was building this fire inside of me, and as hard as I tried to put it out, I couldn’t. The red hot heat of it surrounded me, and all I could think about right now as I watched Tiff lean down to grab her sketch pad was how much I wanted to be with her. I needed to touch her skin, to lose myself, to let go of my fucking overwhelming need to control. The liquor was clouding my judgment as I made my way over to where she was standing.
    “So what were you thinking about having me draw?” She was facing away from me.
    “Orchids,” I whispered, as I pulled the hair away from her neck. My lips kissed her shoulder first and then that soft spot just below her ear. A whispered breath fell from her lips as she leaned her head to the side, granting me better access.
    The room was utterly quiet except for the faint sound of our breathing. Tiffany allowed me to lift her shirt over her head. She wasn’t wearing a bra and her back was completely exposed to me. I swallowed as I took in the stunning tattoo that covered her entire back. She had large angel wings that covered her back and wrapped around her ribcage. It was breathtaking. “Tiffany, this is—“
    I didn’t have words. My fingers itched to touch her. The pads of my fingers trailed down each line. She shuddered under my careful tracing; the heat in my chest grew as she moved her hair over her right shoulder, tilting her head down. She submitted to my touch. The curve of her hip was perfection. My eager hands drew down the sides of her ribs and fit around her tiny waist.
    “God, you’re more… more than I ever expected.” It was the most honest thing I had ever said to a woman. I was just about to turn her around, let my lips find hers, give her a piece of me, when I noticed her shoulders were shaking. “Are you okay?”
    She shook her head. I gently turned her to face me. She folded her arms covering her bare breasts. My previous intentions made

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