even bringing this up? I wish I could suddenly backtrack and suck the words back in again. I don’t want to discuss Cole with her.
“Does he make you uncomfortable, Cassidy?” She seems genuinely concerned that this guy might be harassing me. Which, of course, I know he isn’t...
Cole definitely makes me feel uncomfortable… but not for the reasons she’s alluding to. “No, he’s not bothering me like that. And I haven’t felt like I was going to have another anxiety attack when we’ve been together either.” Only the night we met.
“So how do you feel about him then?”
I shrug, almost afraid to admit that he’s the first guy in a really long time to make me feel anything remotely sexual. After last year, I just kind of shut down. But for some reason, Cole is different. For one, I haven’t been able to run him off. And although that felt really threatening at first… it no longer feels that way. “I’m not sure,” I finally admit, “scared. Nervous.”
But sort of excited too... Even though I think the words in my head, I decide to keep them to myself for the time being.
Cole forces me to feel things I’m not quite ready to feel.
I can’t deny that there’s something about him that attracts me. And it’s not just his looks either. Although hot damn, he’s way too good looking for his own good. And the more time I spent with him, the more I actually like him. Which, for someone like me who is fairly anti-relationship, is kind of a problem. Because I don’t want to like him anymore than I already do.
I don’t want to like him at all...
Dr. Thompson pauses before pulling off her thin black glasses. “Do you think it’s a good idea to get involved with someone right now?”
I sigh, not really surprised that she’s hit the nail on the head. Even though we’ve only been meeting for a little under a month now, she seems very good at what she does. Astute. Intuitive. “Probably not.” Actually, it’s the worst possible idea. I know it. And Dr. Thompson knows it as well. The only one who doesn’t know it is Cole.
“How come?”
Oh she damn well knows why it’s a terrible idea… but she wants me to verbalize the thoughts out loud. It’s a cheap counseling trick. But it works.
“Because I need to focus on school, pulling my life together, and getting healthy.”
“I think those are completely valid reasons, Cassidy, for taking a break from relationships. Just remember, it’s not forever. The fact that this boy has, for some unknown reason, triggered an anxiety attack is concerning to me. Getting healthy is your first priority and then, when you feel better able to handle stress, you can slowly start thinking about relationships again. You’re finding success here at Western and we don’t want to derail that.”
She’s right. I mean, of course she’s right. Honestly, I didn’t need her to confirm that getting involved with Cole will more than likely end in complete disaster for me.
Chapter Seven
“This is going to be so much fun! Thanks again for coming with me tonight.” Snuggling down in her jacket, Brooklyn bounces excitedly on the hard bleacher seat as her eyes track the hockey players skating by the Plexiglas that surrounds the ice. “That’s him, number fifty-five!” A ridiculously dreamy look fills her large green gaze. As she sighs, her warm breath escapes into the frigid air of the rink. I can’t help but roll my eyes even though she isn’t paying me the slightest bit of attention. Nope. Her focus is solely trained on her brand new crush.
Number fifty-five.
Shifting around in my seat, I watch the players fly by. A small sigh leaves my lips because this is surprisingly more painful than I thought it would be. I haven’t skated in more than nine months. And right now, my fingers are almost itching to wrap themselves around my old fiberglass hockey stick.
“Does he make you uncomfortable, Cassidy?” She seems genuinely concerned that this guy might be harassing me. Which, of course, I know he isn’t...
Cole definitely makes me feel uncomfortable… but not for the reasons she’s alluding to. “No, he’s not bothering me like that. And I haven’t felt like I was going to have another anxiety attack when we’ve been together either.” Only the night we met.
“So how do you feel about him then?”
I shrug, almost afraid to admit that he’s the first guy in a really long time to make me feel anything remotely sexual. After last year, I just kind of shut down. But for some reason, Cole is different. For one, I haven’t been able to run him off. And although that felt really threatening at first… it no longer feels that way. “I’m not sure,” I finally admit, “scared. Nervous.”
But sort of excited too... Even though I think the words in my head, I decide to keep them to myself for the time being.
Cole forces me to feel things I’m not quite ready to feel.
I can’t deny that there’s something about him that attracts me. And it’s not just his looks either. Although hot damn, he’s way too good looking for his own good. And the more time I spent with him, the more I actually like him. Which, for someone like me who is fairly anti-relationship, is kind of a problem. Because I don’t want to like him anymore than I already do.
I don’t want to like him at all...
Dr. Thompson pauses before pulling off her thin black glasses. “Do you think it’s a good idea to get involved with someone right now?”
I sigh, not really surprised that she’s hit the nail on the head. Even though we’ve only been meeting for a little under a month now, she seems very good at what she does. Astute. Intuitive. “Probably not.” Actually, it’s the worst possible idea. I know it. And Dr. Thompson knows it as well. The only one who doesn’t know it is Cole.
“How come?”
Oh she damn well knows why it’s a terrible idea… but she wants me to verbalize the thoughts out loud. It’s a cheap counseling trick. But it works.
“Because I need to focus on school, pulling my life together, and getting healthy.”
“I think those are completely valid reasons, Cassidy, for taking a break from relationships. Just remember, it’s not forever. The fact that this boy has, for some unknown reason, triggered an anxiety attack is concerning to me. Getting healthy is your first priority and then, when you feel better able to handle stress, you can slowly start thinking about relationships again. You’re finding success here at Western and we don’t want to derail that.”
She’s right. I mean, of course she’s right. Honestly, I didn’t need her to confirm that getting involved with Cole will more than likely end in complete disaster for me.
Chapter Seven
“This is going to be so much fun! Thanks again for coming with me tonight.” Snuggling down in her jacket, Brooklyn bounces excitedly on the hard bleacher seat as her eyes track the hockey players skating by the Plexiglas that surrounds the ice. “That’s him, number fifty-five!” A ridiculously dreamy look fills her large green gaze. As she sighs, her warm breath escapes into the frigid air of the rink. I can’t help but roll my eyes even though she isn’t paying me the slightest bit of attention. Nope. Her focus is solely trained on her brand new crush.
Number fifty-five.
Shifting around in my seat, I watch the players fly by. A small sigh leaves my lips because this is surprisingly more painful than I thought it would be. I haven’t skated in more than nine months. And right now, my fingers are almost itching to wrap themselves around my old fiberglass hockey stick.
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