Read Online Stainless Steel Rat 11: The Stainless Steel Rat Returns by Harry Harrison - Free Book Online Page A

rasped out.
    “Welcome to the
Happy Kiddies Hour.
Today little friends we are going to have a jolly time talking about your gas mask and how it protects you from all nasty poison gasses . . .”
    I gaped. “They must be joking . . . Try another channel.” The sound gurgled then steadied.
    “Welcome to the preparedness evening broadcast. Tonight’s topic is titled ‘How to Build Your Own Bomb Shelter.’ ”
    “At least he’s talking Esperanto,” I said.
    Angelina frowned. “Not that I care much for the choice of topic. Do you think there is a war on?”
    “We’ll take a look,” Kirpal said. He made adjustments to the controls. “I’ve put us into a geostationary orbit over thesource of the broadcast. Viewing is fine . . . the electron telescope has high resolution . . .”
    A walled city swam into focus. It appeared to be surrounded by fields of some kind. A cloud of dust was clearly visible from one of the fields. The telescope zoomed in on a farm tractor pulling a plow.
    A moment later the scene changed. The tractor stopped and the gray-clad driver jumped down. He took one quick look at the sky before he began running. He ran to the city and through a large gate, which began to close behind him. At the same time the radio burst into life on the emergency frequency.
    “Alien spacer identify yourself. Ten seconds. Identify yourself. Five seconds . . .”
    “What happens when they hit zero?” I asked.
    The answer was quick enough in coming. A rocket zoomed up from the city—and burst well below us. Kirpal hit the controls and we moved quickly out of range.
    “Welcome to lovely Floradora,” Angelina said. And laughed wryly. “I think I’m going to enjoy it here!”
    My dear wife was a woman of a different disposition. Where others might flee or seek safety she went boldly forth. I laughed too, catching her mood. Captain and engineer looked at us as if we were mad.
    “Let us leave these paranoid peasants behind us and take a look at the rest of the countryside,” I suggested. “Get below the horizon and make a wide circle out of their sight.”
    “Why not,” Kirpal muttered for lack of better inspiration.
    It was a pleasant enough planet once the city was left behind. The plowed fields ended abruptly and were replaced bysylvan forest. There were streams and ponds, even a few small lakes.
    “Looks like good fishing,” Stramm said, revealing that he had a pastoral side to his nature.
    “More plowed fields ahead,” Kirpal said zooming the image in on the countryside below. Unpaved, rustic roads meandered away from the fields—all heading in the same direction. We followed them, passing over green fields filled with grazing cattle, until low structures appeared ahead.
    “Do those buildings have thatched roofs?” Angelina asked.
    “Indeed they do,” Kirpal said, zooming in on them. “Wattle and daub walls too if I am not mistaken.”
    Flowers abounded, while fruit trees lined the roads. I pointed to a large grassy open space next to a small grove, just beyond the buildings. “Why don’t we put the ship down there—and see if the natives are friendly.”
    “Done,” the captain said, “but my hand will still be on the throttle if we have to leave abruptly.”
    Barnyard power flamed out and we settled gently to the ground. Waited. Nothing stirred. Doors remained closed.
    “Anyone home?” Stramm asked. “Maybe they’re suspicious of our intentions.”
    “You would be too—considering who their neighbors are.” Angelina said. “I think I’ll take a stroll and see what happens.”
    “Not alone,” I said. Patting the small of my back to make sure my weapon was secure.
    The lower hatch opened as we approached it and the gangway rattled out and down. There was the clatter of tiny hooves as Pinky joined us. She sniffed the balmy air and squealedhappily. Holding hands we followed her down to the grassy ground—where she burst into frantic squealing as she galloped away.
    I had my