fall into bed. My bed has been quickly made up in my old room. I sleep for hours and awake to the sound of the TV BBC news programme. It is six o’clock in the evening and I can’t believe I have slept so long. I shower, dress quickly and go downstairs to find my family. I remember the feel of the house, the sweet smell of citrus my mother uses in the bathroom and the kitchen. I feel the warm ambiance and the softness of the thick carpet, under my bare feet. It’s so good to be home.
My parents greet me with a smile and a hug. We have always been a demonstrative family, letting each other know that we are loved.
I can’t act as though I am ill, although I do not feel exactly well. I decide that I will have to find a job and get on with my life. Although at the moment I feel like my life is over.
We have a couple of days doing very little, just resting and doing the ordinary chores. My father has to go back to work, as he is responsible for a team of men and he goes reluctantly as he does not want to leave us. My mother has retired early so I have company during the day. I start to look for a teaching job in my own town. As there is a shortage of supply teachers, I soon find a position in the next town, which is seven miles away. I start my job teaching English to first formers and I enjoy it very much.
After a couple of months I begin to get sick every morning and I do not feel well after tea. I visit the doctor and he says that I am pregnant. “Oh my God.” I think.
But then I rejoice and feel alive for the first time since I lost Taj.
I have lightness in my step as I arrive home with my news.
“Mother.” I call out when I step over the doorstep.
“What is it, love?” My mother asks.
I run into the house and tell her my news.
She looks shocked and then she smiles and says she is sure that I will want Taj’s child and that she will help me all she can.
We make plans, she will child- mind for me so that I can earn a living and bring up my baby. My father will not retire for a number of years and by that time my child will be at school. I know my father has ambitions to travel and perhaps winter in the sun sometimes, and I would hate to spoil their retirement. My mother shrugs my feelings off and says by the time dad retires things may have changed and I may have found someone new. The way I feel now that will not happen. I hug myself and feel comfort that Taj’s child is living in my womb.
Chapter 12
Simon is born; he is eight pounds and has the longest eyelashes I have ever seen. As I feed him at my breast I feel the closeness of his father. He has a sprinkling of dark silky hair and I adore him with all my heart. My parents are thrilled with him and my sister loves him on sight.
I know he will always have people to love him although Taj is not here and he will miss having a dad. My own dad will be a good granddad and I know he will teach him the manly things in life, I have often thought that dad would have liked a son but had two daughters. His joy when Mark was born was great and I know he will love Simon with the enthusiasm he shows to Mark.
I have kept in touch with my friends from college and I have received today, an invitation to Ann’s wedding. She has been lecturing at the University of Cork and I have kept in touch, although I have not met up with any of them because of my circumstances.
Simon is three years old now and he is such a sweetie. I have spent all my free time looking after him. I kept on my teaching supply work and my mother has looked after him during the week school times. I rush home to mother’s to pick him up and take him home to my little cottage, for which I have managed to get a mortgage. I get him his tea and then we read a book whist we snuggle together until it’s time to take his bath. He loves
My parents greet me with a smile and a hug. We have always been a demonstrative family, letting each other know that we are loved.
I can’t act as though I am ill, although I do not feel exactly well. I decide that I will have to find a job and get on with my life. Although at the moment I feel like my life is over.
We have a couple of days doing very little, just resting and doing the ordinary chores. My father has to go back to work, as he is responsible for a team of men and he goes reluctantly as he does not want to leave us. My mother has retired early so I have company during the day. I start to look for a teaching job in my own town. As there is a shortage of supply teachers, I soon find a position in the next town, which is seven miles away. I start my job teaching English to first formers and I enjoy it very much.
After a couple of months I begin to get sick every morning and I do not feel well after tea. I visit the doctor and he says that I am pregnant. “Oh my God.” I think.
But then I rejoice and feel alive for the first time since I lost Taj.
I have lightness in my step as I arrive home with my news.
“Mother.” I call out when I step over the doorstep.
“What is it, love?” My mother asks.
I run into the house and tell her my news.
She looks shocked and then she smiles and says she is sure that I will want Taj’s child and that she will help me all she can.
We make plans, she will child- mind for me so that I can earn a living and bring up my baby. My father will not retire for a number of years and by that time my child will be at school. I know my father has ambitions to travel and perhaps winter in the sun sometimes, and I would hate to spoil their retirement. My mother shrugs my feelings off and says by the time dad retires things may have changed and I may have found someone new. The way I feel now that will not happen. I hug myself and feel comfort that Taj’s child is living in my womb.
Chapter 12
Simon is born; he is eight pounds and has the longest eyelashes I have ever seen. As I feed him at my breast I feel the closeness of his father. He has a sprinkling of dark silky hair and I adore him with all my heart. My parents are thrilled with him and my sister loves him on sight.
I know he will always have people to love him although Taj is not here and he will miss having a dad. My own dad will be a good granddad and I know he will teach him the manly things in life, I have often thought that dad would have liked a son but had two daughters. His joy when Mark was born was great and I know he will love Simon with the enthusiasm he shows to Mark.
I have kept in touch with my friends from college and I have received today, an invitation to Ann’s wedding. She has been lecturing at the University of Cork and I have kept in touch, although I have not met up with any of them because of my circumstances.
Simon is three years old now and he is such a sweetie. I have spent all my free time looking after him. I kept on my teaching supply work and my mother has looked after him during the week school times. I rush home to mother’s to pick him up and take him home to my little cottage, for which I have managed to get a mortgage. I get him his tea and then we read a book whist we snuggle together until it’s time to take his bath. He loves
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