the side, I took some paper and colored pencils out of my desk drawer. The sound of the pencils scratching the thick paper helped calm my nerves. Slowly, the chaos in my brain went from apocalyptic thunderstorm to light rain. I fell asleep with a pencil still in my hand, hoping the morning would bring more answers.
“Are you and Chad going to the mall with everybody tomorrow?” Kennedy asked.
“I don’t know.” I shrugged.
“Why not?”
“Because I think I’m going to break up with him.”
She jerked her head so fast I was amazed she didn’t give herself whiplash. “Why on Earth would you do that?”
“Some stuff has happened and—”
“This is because of that stoner creep, isn’t it? You have been seeing him behind Chad’s back, haven’t you?”
“No.” I scrunched my brow. “Devon and I are just friends.”
“You keep saying that, but you don’t act like he’s just a friend. You’re always flirting with him and now you want to break up with Chad because of him.”
“ Devon doesn’t have anything to do with it,” I lied. “I want to break up with Chad because Chad is a jerk.”
“No, he’s not.” She shook her head. “All boyfriends have moments when they’re complete idiots, but Chad is not a jerk. He really likes you. He told Jason he just doesn’t know what you want because you’re never happy about anything he does. I really think you should stop being so hard on the guy. It’s not like you’re going to find anybody better.”
I rolled my eyes. “There are tons of guys better than Chad.”
“Do you really want to go back to being a Nobody? Because if you break up with Chad, that’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to be a No body with no friends and no life. I’m sorry, Tori, but I really don’t want to go back to being a loser.”
“What’s the difference?” I asked. “It’s not like I’m some body now.”
“Sure, you are.” She smiled. “You’re Chad Jenkins’ girlfriend. Everybody knows you.”
I sighed. Being known as Chad Jenkins’ girlfriend wasn’t my idea of fame. It was like being Chris Douglas’ sister or Kennedy Phillips’ friend. When people only know you because of your relationship to someone else, they don’t know you at all.
Walking into the side hall, I saw Devon standing at his locker and paused for a moment. Absentmindedly, I put my hand to my lips. It was impossible to look at him without thinking about the way he’d kissed me and how much I wanted it to happen again. When he glanced at me, I pretended to yawn. Then I put my hand down, smiled, and continued to my locker.
“Hi.”
“Hey,” he replied indifferently.
I looked at him. “Is something wrong?”
“No.” He shook his head. “Why would there be?”
“I don’t know.” I shrugged.
He closed his locker and turned toward me. “I’ve got to go. I’ll see you later, okay?”
Without giving me the chance to reply, he walked around me and out of the hall. I had no idea what his problem was, but for the rest of the morning, he didn’t say more than a handful of words to me. He claimed that he was busy. I doubted that was true. From the way his friends kept looking at me, I got the feeling there was more to the story. He just didn’t want to tell me.
Eight
As I inattentively listened to my weekend being planned out at lunch, I stared at Devon across the cafeteria. I wasn’t sure what was going on between us, but I didn’t want it to end. I’d never been so infatuated with anyone. When I wasn’t with him, all I could think about was seeing him again. My already poor grades slipped even further because I couldn’t concentrate in class. I spent my time daydreaming about the next time I saw him. Even at that moment, sitting next to my boyfriend, my mind was across the room.
“Hey.” Chad bumped my arm and returned me to reality. “You ready?”
I glanced up at the clock. There were only a few minutes left of lunch and
“Are you and Chad going to the mall with everybody tomorrow?” Kennedy asked.
“I don’t know.” I shrugged.
“Why not?”
“Because I think I’m going to break up with him.”
She jerked her head so fast I was amazed she didn’t give herself whiplash. “Why on Earth would you do that?”
“Some stuff has happened and—”
“This is because of that stoner creep, isn’t it? You have been seeing him behind Chad’s back, haven’t you?”
“No.” I scrunched my brow. “Devon and I are just friends.”
“You keep saying that, but you don’t act like he’s just a friend. You’re always flirting with him and now you want to break up with Chad because of him.”
“ Devon doesn’t have anything to do with it,” I lied. “I want to break up with Chad because Chad is a jerk.”
“No, he’s not.” She shook her head. “All boyfriends have moments when they’re complete idiots, but Chad is not a jerk. He really likes you. He told Jason he just doesn’t know what you want because you’re never happy about anything he does. I really think you should stop being so hard on the guy. It’s not like you’re going to find anybody better.”
I rolled my eyes. “There are tons of guys better than Chad.”
“Do you really want to go back to being a Nobody? Because if you break up with Chad, that’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to be a No body with no friends and no life. I’m sorry, Tori, but I really don’t want to go back to being a loser.”
“What’s the difference?” I asked. “It’s not like I’m some body now.”
“Sure, you are.” She smiled. “You’re Chad Jenkins’ girlfriend. Everybody knows you.”
I sighed. Being known as Chad Jenkins’ girlfriend wasn’t my idea of fame. It was like being Chris Douglas’ sister or Kennedy Phillips’ friend. When people only know you because of your relationship to someone else, they don’t know you at all.
Walking into the side hall, I saw Devon standing at his locker and paused for a moment. Absentmindedly, I put my hand to my lips. It was impossible to look at him without thinking about the way he’d kissed me and how much I wanted it to happen again. When he glanced at me, I pretended to yawn. Then I put my hand down, smiled, and continued to my locker.
“Hi.”
“Hey,” he replied indifferently.
I looked at him. “Is something wrong?”
“No.” He shook his head. “Why would there be?”
“I don’t know.” I shrugged.
He closed his locker and turned toward me. “I’ve got to go. I’ll see you later, okay?”
Without giving me the chance to reply, he walked around me and out of the hall. I had no idea what his problem was, but for the rest of the morning, he didn’t say more than a handful of words to me. He claimed that he was busy. I doubted that was true. From the way his friends kept looking at me, I got the feeling there was more to the story. He just didn’t want to tell me.
Eight
As I inattentively listened to my weekend being planned out at lunch, I stared at Devon across the cafeteria. I wasn’t sure what was going on between us, but I didn’t want it to end. I’d never been so infatuated with anyone. When I wasn’t with him, all I could think about was seeing him again. My already poor grades slipped even further because I couldn’t concentrate in class. I spent my time daydreaming about the next time I saw him. Even at that moment, sitting next to my boyfriend, my mind was across the room.
“Hey.” Chad bumped my arm and returned me to reality. “You ready?”
I glanced up at the clock. There were only a few minutes left of lunch and
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