until he resembled one of those singing fish
they advertised on television.
“Um, Rachel,” he finally managed to
stammer, “This isn’t, I mean…”
I continued speaking as if Robert
hadn’t said anything. I looked him straight in the eyes and said,
“Robert and I broke up under mutual agreement and I’m sure we will
remain friends.” The smile I offered probably didn’t reach my eyes.
“I hope you two will be very happy together.”
I turned and walked away, aware
everyone was staring at me. I smiled until my face hurt. After
buying a soda from the vending machine, I sat down at an empty
table, hoping my brown skin camouflaged the angry blush of rage
spreading over my face.
“How can you be so calm?” Megan asked,
sitting down across from me.
“It’s been coming on for a while. It
was only a matter of time. No big deal,” I said.
“Are you going to skip Homecoming this
year?” she asked.
“Nope.” I wouldn’t be the first girl
to show up dateless for the Homecoming dance, and I certainly
wouldn’t be the last. I’d hold my head up high even if it killed
me. “What are you wearing to the dance?” I asked to change the
subject. Her eyes lit up in response and she spent the next several
minutes describing every intricate detail of her dress and
accessories. I nodded occasionally and said “nice” or “wow,” but I
had checked out from the beginning.
I made it through the rest of the day,
but it wasn’t easy. All I wanted to do was go home and curl up in
bed with a good book. Cheerleading practice was an exercise in
agony. We had our practice outside, so we were right next to the
football field. Autumn watched Robert from the sidelines while I
tried to ignore the football players altogether. Becky found fault
in everything I did. During our first routine, she flashed me a
nasty, gloating smile and asked why I was having such a hard time
concentrating. I apologized, barely resisting the urge to kill
her.
Halfway through practice, I noticed
Jace and Alisa walking together through the field behind the
school. Pain pierced my chest when I saw him carrying her book bag.
Of all the things I had to worry about, why did that bother me so
much?
I wasn’t the only one bothered by Jace
and Alisa walking together. Becky noticed too, and as she watched
them, her face said it all. Her vicious thoughts poured into me and
I had to fight back nausea. She would destroy her cousin any way
she could, but this time, I wouldn’t stand by and let it happen.
This wasn’t middle school anymore and I wasn’t the old, passive
Rachel.
“What’s the matter, Becky?” I asked,
breaking into her thoughts. “Having trouble concentrating?” I
smiled and stared her down.
My attention wandered back to Jace
once again. A beam of sunlight shot through the cloud cover and
illuminated his tall form for a fraction of a second. Although I
hated Becky for her willingness to hurt anyone who came between her
and the man she desired, I couldn’t help but wonder if I could do
the same. Would I be willing to trample over Alisa to get to Jace?
I shivered, imagining myself in his arms. Though I might be willing
to do almost anything to make that happen, I couldn’t hurt another
human being to get what I wanted. At least not
deliberately.
***
My extra-sensory abilities hung on and
I feared I’d never be the same again. Close contact with people
usually resulted in an avalanche of emotions crashing over me. I
spend so much time avoiding people, it took me awhile to realize
people were also avoiding me. Phone calls went unreturned.
Invitations to parties came to a screeching halt. My usual lunch
table always seemed to be full when I approached.
When I ran into a group of friends at
the mall in Albany, I rushed up to them, eager to join in the fun.
It sucked walking the mall alone, and a nice shopping trip with
friends was just what I needed.
“Hey, I didn’t know ya’ll were going
to be here today, or I would have tagged
David LaRochelle
Walter Wangerin Jr.
James Axler
Yann Martel
Ian Irvine
Cory Putman Oakes
Ted Krever
Marcus Johnson
T.A. Foster
Lee Goldberg