youâre okay,â she says, keeping her voice low. âI hate this city.â
Me and Amber both know Portland has lots of great areasââwe just donât happen to live in any of them. Tonight, I hate it too. We didnât even get robbed, but Iâm not sure I couldâve been any more scared even if we had been. I turn on my side and look over at my sister. Sheâs wearing an old white T-shirt thatâs gray from being washed with our jeans, and her long red hair tumbles around her shoulders. Sheâs shivering from the cold, and she looks small and fragile as she reaches for the lamp. I wonder how I can protect her and Natalie if I canât even protect myself?
Once Amber has turned off the light and weâre wrapped in the familiar darkness, I say, âHey, Am? What do you know about Kansas?â
âThereâs no place like home,â she mumbles.
Exactly. Thatâs why Iâm thinking maybe we should leave. Small-town America suddenly sounds pretty appealing.
Chapter 9
I wake up to Natalieâs whimpers. Lately sheâs been doing this in the morning instead of full-on wailing. Itâs like sheâs figured out sheâll get more sympathy and attention if she sounds resigned to her fate. Amberâs dragged herself out of bed and is picking her up. I so want to roll over and go back to sleep, but weâre doing those lame-ass statewide fitness tests in PE, so I have to go. Iâm the only senior in our class, which makes it even more patheticââmost students fulfill the PE requirement in the first two years of high school, but me and Amber had bronchitis for three weeks when we were freshmen and had to sit around in the library, missing PE class. She made it up junior year, but I put it off until the last minute.
I donât mention Kansas while weâre getting ready. In the light of day, it seems like a stupid idea. Even if I got into college, how could I go? Amber would totally freak if I backed out on our plan now. The only reason sheâs even stayed in school this long is because Iâve promised to help take care of Natalie while she learns the ropes at the Glass Slipper. If she thought I was going to screw her over by making her move to Kansas, sheâd quit high school right now just to get back at me.
Thatâs what I tell myself, anyway. But honestly, every time I think about going to work at Jimmyâs again, my hands start to shake and my heart revs up like the Mustangâs motor. McPherson, Kansas, population 13,322, is sounding better all the time. Also, I canât stop thinking about how cool it would be to actually learn all the stuff I want to know, not just what Jimmy can teach me in his small shop. People who restore cars make a lot of money. A lot . . . even during recessions. Rich people donât worry about the shit everyone else does. If I took this course, someday the three of us could live anywhere we wanted. We wouldnât have to buy a fixer-upper, either. We could get one of those big new houses in West Linn or a cool condo with underground parking in Northwest Portland. We could live in style. Iâd be making real money. I think if it werenât for leaving our familyââand the Glass Slipperââfor four years, Amber would be cool about moving because sheâd understand it would help us in the long run. But Kansas is too far away.
I spend lunch with Natalie at daycare, going over the papers Ms. Spellerman gave me. By the end of the period, I almost have the info memorized. The bell rings, and I lift Nat up off the rug where sheâs been rolling around and put her back in her crib. As I lean over to kiss her, she grabs two fistfuls of my hair, and her gripâs so strong, it takes help from Mei-Zhen to get me free. For some reason, this makes my heart swell up and I donât want to leave her. Mei-Zhen has to shoo me off to class, but a part of me lingers
Me and Amber both know Portland has lots of great areasââwe just donât happen to live in any of them. Tonight, I hate it too. We didnât even get robbed, but Iâm not sure I couldâve been any more scared even if we had been. I turn on my side and look over at my sister. Sheâs wearing an old white T-shirt thatâs gray from being washed with our jeans, and her long red hair tumbles around her shoulders. Sheâs shivering from the cold, and she looks small and fragile as she reaches for the lamp. I wonder how I can protect her and Natalie if I canât even protect myself?
Once Amber has turned off the light and weâre wrapped in the familiar darkness, I say, âHey, Am? What do you know about Kansas?â
âThereâs no place like home,â she mumbles.
Exactly. Thatâs why Iâm thinking maybe we should leave. Small-town America suddenly sounds pretty appealing.
Chapter 9
I wake up to Natalieâs whimpers. Lately sheâs been doing this in the morning instead of full-on wailing. Itâs like sheâs figured out sheâll get more sympathy and attention if she sounds resigned to her fate. Amberâs dragged herself out of bed and is picking her up. I so want to roll over and go back to sleep, but weâre doing those lame-ass statewide fitness tests in PE, so I have to go. Iâm the only senior in our class, which makes it even more patheticââmost students fulfill the PE requirement in the first two years of high school, but me and Amber had bronchitis for three weeks when we were freshmen and had to sit around in the library, missing PE class. She made it up junior year, but I put it off until the last minute.
I donât mention Kansas while weâre getting ready. In the light of day, it seems like a stupid idea. Even if I got into college, how could I go? Amber would totally freak if I backed out on our plan now. The only reason sheâs even stayed in school this long is because Iâve promised to help take care of Natalie while she learns the ropes at the Glass Slipper. If she thought I was going to screw her over by making her move to Kansas, sheâd quit high school right now just to get back at me.
Thatâs what I tell myself, anyway. But honestly, every time I think about going to work at Jimmyâs again, my hands start to shake and my heart revs up like the Mustangâs motor. McPherson, Kansas, population 13,322, is sounding better all the time. Also, I canât stop thinking about how cool it would be to actually learn all the stuff I want to know, not just what Jimmy can teach me in his small shop. People who restore cars make a lot of money. A lot . . . even during recessions. Rich people donât worry about the shit everyone else does. If I took this course, someday the three of us could live anywhere we wanted. We wouldnât have to buy a fixer-upper, either. We could get one of those big new houses in West Linn or a cool condo with underground parking in Northwest Portland. We could live in style. Iâd be making real money. I think if it werenât for leaving our familyââand the Glass Slipperââfor four years, Amber would be cool about moving because sheâd understand it would help us in the long run. But Kansas is too far away.
I spend lunch with Natalie at daycare, going over the papers Ms. Spellerman gave me. By the end of the period, I almost have the info memorized. The bell rings, and I lift Nat up off the rug where sheâs been rolling around and put her back in her crib. As I lean over to kiss her, she grabs two fistfuls of my hair, and her gripâs so strong, it takes help from Mei-Zhen to get me free. For some reason, this makes my heart swell up and I donât want to leave her. Mei-Zhen has to shoo me off to class, but a part of me lingers
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