Read Online Sources of Light by Margaret McMullan - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Margaret McMullan
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barbaric and so absurd."
"Mom?"
"I'm fine," she whispered, then quietly hiccupped. "I'll behave. I promise." She began drinking water.
I excused myself, thinking I was going to be sick. I couldn't watch Stone or Mary Alice watching my mother and me as if we were some free freak show at their dinner table. And I didn't want to stick around to see what wrong thing my mother would do or say next. Luckily, I knew where to find the air-raid shelter bathroom, so I knew where to hide in order to collect and prepare myself for the worst, which was my mother after three drinks. This was so much worse than a nuclear bomb explosion.
In the downstairs powder room, I splashed cold water on my face. I took three deep breaths. When I opened the door, Stone was there.
"There you are," he said. "I've been looking for you."
"You have?"
He smiled. "Sure I have." He stepped closer, closer than any boy had ever stepped. "Hey."
"Hey," I said, swallowing.
"Samantha." He called me by my full name like that and then stepped even closer. "I was wondering. Will you come to the dance with me?"
This moment felt so new, I wished it would slow down. I wished I had time to step back and look at it from a distance, with a long, wide-angle lens. This handsome boy I admired and liked to look at appeared before me just like that, as though he had dropped down from outer space, and there we were, face-to-face in his air raid shelter, safe from the Russians and all the other grownups. He had asked me and I would say yes and we would be going to the dance. Me. Samantha Thomas would be going to a high school dance with Stone McLemore.
"Sure," I said, trying to sound as casual as you please. But it came out sounding like a cough.
He lifted my chin the way handsome men did to pretty women in the movies. He closed his eyes. I had never before seen a boy up close with his eyes closed. It felt private and personal, and I held my breath so I wouldn't mess up this perfect moment. We kissed, and I hoped I wouldn't burp up the onions from dinner. When I opened my eyes, he saw and stopped.
"You're supposed to keep your eyes shut," he whispered.
"I didn't know."
He smiled. "You're like some kind of purebred. My dad's told me all about your family. I think my kin might even have known your kin way back."
For some reason I remembered just then that I was wearing Tine's old red dress. Tine drooled when she was nervous. I hoped I wasn't drooling all over myself.
I could hear Mrs. McLemore in the living room upstairs, saying that we weren't required to obey northern laws.
When we went back up separately, I couldn't stop smiling. Not even the sound of Mary Alice's charm bracelet tinkling could wipe away my grin.
My mother was saying that Mississippi had isolated itself from the rest of the nation.
"It's not a separate nation-state," she said. She was no longer jumbling her words. She had her teacher voice on. I wasn't sure which was worse. "It's not like we're unaccountable to a higher authority. If that's the case, then we're living in a totalitarian state."
"You sure do have some ideas," Mr. McLemore said, grinning.
"I didn't understand a word you just said," Mrs. McLemore said, laughing, fanning herself with her napkin. "Mary Alice, clear those dishes, would you, dear? Jeffy, quit running around. You're wearing out my last nerve."
"Your husband's family, they're fine people, good people, your husband's people." Mr. McLemore's voice went low and soft. "I just know they don't want you agitating and stirring up trouble here where you're trying to start a new life and all."
My mother and Mr. McLemore stared at each other then and something happened between them. Something understood just between the two of them. My mother nodded. "Thank you for the advice." Then she turned to me. "Sam, we should be going." She wasn't serious rude. Just serious polite.
As we were leaving, Mr. McLemore took my mother's elbow and drew her close. "Honey, this isn't your fight."
"Mom?"
"I'm fine," she whispered, then quietly hiccupped. "I'll behave. I promise." She began drinking water.
I excused myself, thinking I was going to be sick. I couldn't watch Stone or Mary Alice watching my mother and me as if we were some free freak show at their dinner table. And I didn't want to stick around to see what wrong thing my mother would do or say next. Luckily, I knew where to find the air-raid shelter bathroom, so I knew where to hide in order to collect and prepare myself for the worst, which was my mother after three drinks. This was so much worse than a nuclear bomb explosion.
In the downstairs powder room, I splashed cold water on my face. I took three deep breaths. When I opened the door, Stone was there.
"There you are," he said. "I've been looking for you."
"You have?"
He smiled. "Sure I have." He stepped closer, closer than any boy had ever stepped. "Hey."
"Hey," I said, swallowing.
"Samantha." He called me by my full name like that and then stepped even closer. "I was wondering. Will you come to the dance with me?"
This moment felt so new, I wished it would slow down. I wished I had time to step back and look at it from a distance, with a long, wide-angle lens. This handsome boy I admired and liked to look at appeared before me just like that, as though he had dropped down from outer space, and there we were, face-to-face in his air raid shelter, safe from the Russians and all the other grownups. He had asked me and I would say yes and we would be going to the dance. Me. Samantha Thomas would be going to a high school dance with Stone McLemore.
"Sure," I said, trying to sound as casual as you please. But it came out sounding like a cough.
He lifted my chin the way handsome men did to pretty women in the movies. He closed his eyes. I had never before seen a boy up close with his eyes closed. It felt private and personal, and I held my breath so I wouldn't mess up this perfect moment. We kissed, and I hoped I wouldn't burp up the onions from dinner. When I opened my eyes, he saw and stopped.
"You're supposed to keep your eyes shut," he whispered.
"I didn't know."
He smiled. "You're like some kind of purebred. My dad's told me all about your family. I think my kin might even have known your kin way back."
For some reason I remembered just then that I was wearing Tine's old red dress. Tine drooled when she was nervous. I hoped I wasn't drooling all over myself.
I could hear Mrs. McLemore in the living room upstairs, saying that we weren't required to obey northern laws.
When we went back up separately, I couldn't stop smiling. Not even the sound of Mary Alice's charm bracelet tinkling could wipe away my grin.
My mother was saying that Mississippi had isolated itself from the rest of the nation.
"It's not a separate nation-state," she said. She was no longer jumbling her words. She had her teacher voice on. I wasn't sure which was worse. "It's not like we're unaccountable to a higher authority. If that's the case, then we're living in a totalitarian state."
"You sure do have some ideas," Mr. McLemore said, grinning.
"I didn't understand a word you just said," Mrs. McLemore said, laughing, fanning herself with her napkin. "Mary Alice, clear those dishes, would you, dear? Jeffy, quit running around. You're wearing out my last nerve."
"Your husband's family, they're fine people, good people, your husband's people." Mr. McLemore's voice went low and soft. "I just know they don't want you agitating and stirring up trouble here where you're trying to start a new life and all."
My mother and Mr. McLemore stared at each other then and something happened between them. Something understood just between the two of them. My mother nodded. "Thank you for the advice." Then she turned to me. "Sam, we should be going." She wasn't serious rude. Just serious polite.
As we were leaving, Mr. McLemore took my mother's elbow and drew her close. "Honey, this isn't your fight."
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