Read Online Sorry Please Thank You by Charles Yu - Free Book Online Page A

same time know that it matters. It has to matter. So our deity might have to leave for a while. So he may or may not have meant to make things this way. So we might be left on our own down there. So maybe he never meant for any of this to happen, this wasn’t the story at all, he wishes he could just hit the button and start all over.
    That doesn’t make it any less real. That doesn’t mean we should give up down here.
    “I really gotta go,” Fred says. “It’s your story now.”
    He looks at me like, I’m sorry, but what am I supposedto do? And he’s right. He’s a minor power at best. He can’t get us out of this. He’s a nice guy, good at what he’s good at, but this is our problem.
    I can see Trin and Krugnor down there getting their asses kicked. Things will suck if I go back down there. All of my friends might get killed. And even if they live, they will be horribly maimed and probably blame me forever for this shit that I got them into. But still. No one said it would be easy, or fun, or good, or clean, or that I would have any glory or comfort or a moment of rest in all of my days. But if I have anything at all I am still the Hero. I am here. This was my story. This is my problem. I’m going back down there to fix it.

Human for Beginners
Chapter 5: Extended Family Relations
    Living in close quarters with your Immediate Family you have no doubt begun to see the sometimes tricky dynamics, both fiscal and psychosexual, that often come into play between humans.
    As a result, you may now find yourself looking around at other possibilities for joy, housing, points of reference, or shared sorrow. One rich and untapped source of experiential material is your Extended Family.
    Extended Family Relations are often confusing for new humans, who cannot see the point of having human contacts that are neither potential sexual partners, nor business partners, nor enemies. The following may be useful in helping you sort through some of the many underutilized resources at your disposal.
Cousins
    Cousins are really the meat and potatoes of the Extended Family Relations menu. As the paradigmatic nonnuclear relative, they serve as the foundation of any well-diversifiedportfolio of human contacts. In a nutshell, cousins are your optional brothers and sisters. They are people to whom you owe nothing, who owe you nothing, but who can be important to you, if you wish.
Aunts
    Your aunt is moderately useful for experimentation, as a kind of laboratory for testing what will work and what will not work in your interactions with your human mother.
    A word of caution: if you have a very oblivious-looking aunt, do not assume that she is what you perceive her to be, no matter how harmless she looks. Sensory data can be deceiving. Despite appearances, this aunt may be every bit as clever as your Earthling mother. In fact, she may very well be your Earthling mother, hiding in a different person.
    There are other issues related to aunts that are beyond the scope of this volume.
Cousins Revisited
    Cousins can be a source of repeated use and considerable pleasure. This is especially true in your golden/declining years. As your genetically unrelated Persons of Life Significance (these are often called Friends or Enemies and will be covered in a future volume) begin to die away, or as you learn that you really know absolutelynothing about (and find yourself growing increasingly wary of) anyone who is not a blood relative, cousins can sometimes rise to prominence quite unexpectedly. Examples include: the Occasional Visiting Cousin, the Far Away but Close at Heart Cousin, and the very common General Proximity Cousin (who has moved to within fifty miles of your residence as one/both of you enter late middle age, for no good reason either of you can discern, other than the odd comfort of general proximity). Perhaps you have such a cousin. Perhaps you are such a cousin.
Great-Uncles
    Great-uncles have been the source of much controversy in recent