Read Online Memoirs Aren't Fairytales by Marni Mann - Free Book Online

out immediately.
    I'd been around needles my whole life because my dad was a diabetic. He kept a box of syringes in the pantry, and I'd watch him take his insulin every morning before school. He said if he didn't take his medicine, he would die. He used needles to keep him healthy, and the syringe in Renee's hand was about to do the same thing for me.
    Renee tied her belt around my bicep and slapped my arm for a vein. “I didn't know Mark liked you…like that,” she said and pricked my skin with the tip.
    She pulled back on the plunger. My blood came through the chamber, looking like a head of broccoli before mixing with the clear liquid. When she pushed the heroin into my vein, she gave me a look—jealousy, maybe, with a touch of resentment. Her expression lasted about a second because my eyes closed and my head dropped.
    Smoking heroin was like an appetizer. It satisfied my hunger cravings, but when you ate the same thing every day, like tuna and noodles, your taste buds wanted something more flavorful. My body got so used to smoking dope, the high was nothing like the first time I had tried it.
    If basing was like an alcoholic drinking only one Bud Light, shooting heroin was like drinking a gallon of vodka. The rush was like an orgasm. The dreams were like an acid trip. Bright colors swirled together and formed scenes like in action movies. I was jumping over rooftops and parasailing over the Atlantic. The warmth that spread over my body was like the sun beating down, inches above my skin. It was magic.
    I felt my stomach churn, and bile poured from my mouth. I couldn't get to the bathroom. I couldn't even move. Puke was all over the bed, and me, I think. If felt good to throw up. The heaving made my throat tingle like it was being tickled with a feather.
    A second swish of sparks shot up my spine. My nose touched something soft. The blanket, maybe? The skin on the sides of my fingers turned hot. Really hot. Was my cigarette burning my flesh? I wasn't sure, and I didn't care because it felt good too.
    Besides Eric and Renee, there were only two things that mattered, the dope that ran through my veins and the needle that pricked my skin. Fuck Mark and my job, and the customers who left me shitty tips. I'd find something better.

CHAPTER SIX
     
    I'd stopped freebasing after that night when everything went down with Mark and only mainlined after that. The high from the needle was more intense than basing, and it lasted longer too. Eric based at the club, Renee snorted at the bar, and they both shot up when they were home. They called shooting up their treat after a long day on the job like it was a piece of pie or something. If that was true, I had a wicked sweet tooth.
    In our family of three, we not only used our heroin differently, but we each had a separate role too. Renee did most of the drug runs because she had a thing for Que. Eric was our moneyman. He collected the cash we made each day and budgeted enough for heroin and needles. Our needles had to be replaced every few days because they got dull. We didn't share needles either. Maybe they did, but I didn't. After each shot there was leftover blood in the chamber and at the tip of the rig, and if their blood touched mine, all sorts of shit could happen. I didn't keep tabs on who they slept with, and for all I knew they could have HIV or Hep C.
    Eric also rationed out the dope. We each got our own bag that would have to last us the whole day. Renee made sure it was divided the second she got home from Que's. In the past, she had accused me of using more than her, so it was better we had our own bags.
    I was responsible for paying our rent. I didn't want to work, I wanted to lie in bed and shoot dope all day. But thanks to Abdul, the owner of our hotel, I had a job.
    After Mark fired me, our rent was late for three weeks, and I explained to Abdul what happened—I subtracted the heroin part and added in a few exaggerated details. He walked me into his office and