Read Online Sophie's Smile: A Novel by Sheena Harper - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Sheena Harper
Tags: Novels
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but Grandpa was a close second. Why was I shitting my life away when Grandpa worked so hard to live his?
Part three
Paradise is but a dream
To keep the hungry sated, the
Runner running, the fighter fighting,
The doubtful hoping.
Chase the Dream, and never look back.
~Kyle Harper, Tick
~ Sophie ~
1
The lecture hall echoed, my flip-flops snapping beneath me, as I walked down the looming staircase toward an empty seat. York Hall was dimly lit, except for a buzzing, fluorescent band of light descending from the top of the blackboards, which stretched across the entire breadth of the front wall. The air in here was hazy, seeming to be filled with outgassing from the murky browns and yellows of the walls and seats. The periodic table of elements loomed large above the blackboard, near the ceiling; it seemed to peer down from on-high, mocking, contemptuous.
I decided on the middle section of the room, the seat closest to the left aisle, next to no one—just in case I needed a quick escape. Over the past two years at this institution, I developed a hatred for being seated in close quarters with strangers—specifically, those prone to sneezing, wheezing, coughing, fidgeting, being nosy or loud, and especially, those with repulsive odors and lack of hygiene.
Across from me, a boy with a bowl haircut and white tennies leaned forward, and with repetitive, inane urgency, scratched his head with his overgrown nails—dandruff flakes floated down, creating a light snow bed on his dark shirt.
Cringing, my eyes diverted to my Fall Quarter schedule, waiting for lecture to start, and I sighed. This quarter will definitely be challenging and time consuming. I smirked. Not like I have anything else filling up my schedule. My social life was lackluster at best…not like it had ever been stimulating in my twenty-one years. I mulled over the schedule—P- Chem , Econ 1A, P- Chem lab, and Mam Phys —until my thoughts were no longer drowned by the loud murmurs that echoed through the cold, air conditioned building. P- Chem lecture was starting.
The first week was easy enough. Introductions only, but I was beginning to worry if I would be able to handle my strenuous schedule. I quickly decided to drop out of P- Chem lab since it wasn’t a graduation requirement, and the workload became slightly more manageable. Lab reports were time consuming and complex. Exams were intricate and creative, and the grading was harsh: A s were untouchable, B s hard to come by, C s were accepted graciously, and anything else was feared. All in all, college was not what I expected. It was cold, difficult and lonely.
Now in my third year at UC San Diego, I began to analyze myself and my future—my strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, where I saw myself in two years and then ten. Most of all, I analyzed the reason behind my unfailing depression.
First off, I hated school. My depression seemed to stem from this institution—and I hated science. I just wasn’t good at it. My brain could only handle so much when it came to scientific theories and formulas.
General Chemistry, Biochemistry, Organic Chemistry, Inorganic Chemistry, Physical Chemistry…I took enough chemistry courses to know for sure: I disliked chemistry.
This led to my second realization—I didn’t want to continue my education beyond getting my undergraduate degree from UC San Diego. I wasn’t going to apply to pharmacy school, a goal my parents had instilled in me since the eighth grade. My parents seemed to accept this willingly enough, although they were unsure if my head was clear and my choice was well thought out. I think they clung to the hope I would change my mind after I took a year off.
Third, I realized I would enjoy working. Getting a job, any job. I wanted to support myself.
My parents were always there to support me, especially financially. They wanted to do everything they could to ensure I would have an easy life. They paid my way
Part three
Paradise is but a dream
To keep the hungry sated, the
Runner running, the fighter fighting,
The doubtful hoping.
Chase the Dream, and never look back.
~Kyle Harper, Tick
~ Sophie ~
1
The lecture hall echoed, my flip-flops snapping beneath me, as I walked down the looming staircase toward an empty seat. York Hall was dimly lit, except for a buzzing, fluorescent band of light descending from the top of the blackboards, which stretched across the entire breadth of the front wall. The air in here was hazy, seeming to be filled with outgassing from the murky browns and yellows of the walls and seats. The periodic table of elements loomed large above the blackboard, near the ceiling; it seemed to peer down from on-high, mocking, contemptuous.
I decided on the middle section of the room, the seat closest to the left aisle, next to no one—just in case I needed a quick escape. Over the past two years at this institution, I developed a hatred for being seated in close quarters with strangers—specifically, those prone to sneezing, wheezing, coughing, fidgeting, being nosy or loud, and especially, those with repulsive odors and lack of hygiene.
Across from me, a boy with a bowl haircut and white tennies leaned forward, and with repetitive, inane urgency, scratched his head with his overgrown nails—dandruff flakes floated down, creating a light snow bed on his dark shirt.
Cringing, my eyes diverted to my Fall Quarter schedule, waiting for lecture to start, and I sighed. This quarter will definitely be challenging and time consuming. I smirked. Not like I have anything else filling up my schedule. My social life was lackluster at best…not like it had ever been stimulating in my twenty-one years. I mulled over the schedule—P- Chem , Econ 1A, P- Chem lab, and Mam Phys —until my thoughts were no longer drowned by the loud murmurs that echoed through the cold, air conditioned building. P- Chem lecture was starting.
The first week was easy enough. Introductions only, but I was beginning to worry if I would be able to handle my strenuous schedule. I quickly decided to drop out of P- Chem lab since it wasn’t a graduation requirement, and the workload became slightly more manageable. Lab reports were time consuming and complex. Exams were intricate and creative, and the grading was harsh: A s were untouchable, B s hard to come by, C s were accepted graciously, and anything else was feared. All in all, college was not what I expected. It was cold, difficult and lonely.
Now in my third year at UC San Diego, I began to analyze myself and my future—my strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, where I saw myself in two years and then ten. Most of all, I analyzed the reason behind my unfailing depression.
First off, I hated school. My depression seemed to stem from this institution—and I hated science. I just wasn’t good at it. My brain could only handle so much when it came to scientific theories and formulas.
General Chemistry, Biochemistry, Organic Chemistry, Inorganic Chemistry, Physical Chemistry…I took enough chemistry courses to know for sure: I disliked chemistry.
This led to my second realization—I didn’t want to continue my education beyond getting my undergraduate degree from UC San Diego. I wasn’t going to apply to pharmacy school, a goal my parents had instilled in me since the eighth grade. My parents seemed to accept this willingly enough, although they were unsure if my head was clear and my choice was well thought out. I think they clung to the hope I would change my mind after I took a year off.
Third, I realized I would enjoy working. Getting a job, any job. I wanted to support myself.
My parents were always there to support me, especially financially. They wanted to do everything they could to ensure I would have an easy life. They paid my way
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