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Authors: Chelsea Fine
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awake, but he’s staring anyway.
Because he loves me.
Eventually he turns out his light and collapses on his bed. I look at his darkened room for a long time before I realize I’m shaking.
My heart is pounding so hard I can see my chest hammering. Almost as if my heart is trying to reach across our yards and jump into Carter’s body.
Thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump.
My pulse picks up even more and I sit up, realizing my restless heart won’t make it through the night like this.
I get up and decide to sneak out of my house and tiptoe up to his window. I’ve seen this done on TV so I’m sure it’s easy.
Instead of using my front door like a normal, sane, non love-crazy person would, I decide to actually climb out of my bedroom window.
The execution is more difficult than my love-struck brain had imagined.
For starters, the window screeches like a howling animal as I open it up far enough to fit my body through. Not exactly the stealth maneuver I was hoping for.
And the four foot drop to the earth below would have been much more pleasant had I been wearing shoes.
Did I think through the wardrobe thing? Of course not. I was too busy trying to keep my heart from leaping out of my chest and thudding over to Carter’s room without my body.
So, no. I did not plan my sneaking-out outfit accordingly. Which is why I’m now standing, barefoot in the sticky mud beneath my window, wearing only a pair of gym shorts and a thin T-shirt with Snoopy on it.
The wind rustles through the big trees, momentarily deafening all sounds of the night, as I look across the yard to where Carter’s window sits shadowed in darkness. His room seems farther away than ever before for some reason and I start to panic.
Not because the darkness is frightening and the shadows are moving of their own accord. But because I cannot wait another minute to tell Carter I love him.
So I make my way through our yards while the wind whips at my face and reminds me to grab a jacket the next time I decide to play Ninja Girl in the night.
The grass and gravel in between our windows is wet and cold on my bare feet as I step through the night, but I don’t care. I’d walk on fiery coals if only to watch Carter sleep.
When I reach his window I notice it’s open all the way, just like mine. It’s probably been that way for years.
I’m not surprised.
But I’m moved.
We keep our windows open so we can hear each other, see each other, feel each other.
Because we love each other.
Thankfully, his window is low to the ground, making it easy for me to climb inside. The last thing I need right now is a short wall to scale and another noisy window. I quietly place my feet inside his bedroom and wait a moment for my eyes to adjust.
I see him sitting up in his bed.
He’s awake and, from the crooked smile on his face, not surprised to see me. Probably because my squeaking windowpane woke him up.
So much for my “sneaking” out.
I smile, mostly at myself for being so silly, but also because my heart is warm and happy now that I’m near Carter.
We don’t say anything for a minute, and the silence is broken only by the whispering wind coming in from the window.
I slowly crawl onto his bed, dirty feet and all, and scoot over to where he is. He looks at me curiously…apprehensively…but still I say nothing.
I’m so nervous and happy and anxious and in love.
It’s freaking me out—but in a good way.
I tuck my knees under me and look at him for a long time, which he let’s me do without question.
Finally I find my voice. “I love you too,” I say without breaking our gaze.
My heart flutters.
“I know.” He says, and he slowly smiles.
My heart flies.
My world has just become whole.
CARTER
I’ve never been happier in my whole life. Sophie Hartman loves me.
I don’t know what to do.
Do I kiss her?
Can I kiss her?
This is Sophie. She’s the most important person in my life. I can’t screw this up.
So I reach over
Because he loves me.
Eventually he turns out his light and collapses on his bed. I look at his darkened room for a long time before I realize I’m shaking.
My heart is pounding so hard I can see my chest hammering. Almost as if my heart is trying to reach across our yards and jump into Carter’s body.
Thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump.
My pulse picks up even more and I sit up, realizing my restless heart won’t make it through the night like this.
I get up and decide to sneak out of my house and tiptoe up to his window. I’ve seen this done on TV so I’m sure it’s easy.
Instead of using my front door like a normal, sane, non love-crazy person would, I decide to actually climb out of my bedroom window.
The execution is more difficult than my love-struck brain had imagined.
For starters, the window screeches like a howling animal as I open it up far enough to fit my body through. Not exactly the stealth maneuver I was hoping for.
And the four foot drop to the earth below would have been much more pleasant had I been wearing shoes.
Did I think through the wardrobe thing? Of course not. I was too busy trying to keep my heart from leaping out of my chest and thudding over to Carter’s room without my body.
So, no. I did not plan my sneaking-out outfit accordingly. Which is why I’m now standing, barefoot in the sticky mud beneath my window, wearing only a pair of gym shorts and a thin T-shirt with Snoopy on it.
The wind rustles through the big trees, momentarily deafening all sounds of the night, as I look across the yard to where Carter’s window sits shadowed in darkness. His room seems farther away than ever before for some reason and I start to panic.
Not because the darkness is frightening and the shadows are moving of their own accord. But because I cannot wait another minute to tell Carter I love him.
So I make my way through our yards while the wind whips at my face and reminds me to grab a jacket the next time I decide to play Ninja Girl in the night.
The grass and gravel in between our windows is wet and cold on my bare feet as I step through the night, but I don’t care. I’d walk on fiery coals if only to watch Carter sleep.
When I reach his window I notice it’s open all the way, just like mine. It’s probably been that way for years.
I’m not surprised.
But I’m moved.
We keep our windows open so we can hear each other, see each other, feel each other.
Because we love each other.
Thankfully, his window is low to the ground, making it easy for me to climb inside. The last thing I need right now is a short wall to scale and another noisy window. I quietly place my feet inside his bedroom and wait a moment for my eyes to adjust.
I see him sitting up in his bed.
He’s awake and, from the crooked smile on his face, not surprised to see me. Probably because my squeaking windowpane woke him up.
So much for my “sneaking” out.
I smile, mostly at myself for being so silly, but also because my heart is warm and happy now that I’m near Carter.
We don’t say anything for a minute, and the silence is broken only by the whispering wind coming in from the window.
I slowly crawl onto his bed, dirty feet and all, and scoot over to where he is. He looks at me curiously…apprehensively…but still I say nothing.
I’m so nervous and happy and anxious and in love.
It’s freaking me out—but in a good way.
I tuck my knees under me and look at him for a long time, which he let’s me do without question.
Finally I find my voice. “I love you too,” I say without breaking our gaze.
My heart flutters.
“I know.” He says, and he slowly smiles.
My heart flies.
My world has just become whole.
CARTER
I’ve never been happier in my whole life. Sophie Hartman loves me.
I don’t know what to do.
Do I kiss her?
Can I kiss her?
This is Sophie. She’s the most important person in my life. I can’t screw this up.
So I reach over
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