Song of the Silent Snow

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Authors: Hubert Selby Jr.
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You know I cant do anything now.
    He dropped his hands and stared at her for a moment then slammed back into his seat. O for Krist sake. Whats wrong Harry? Nothings wrong, goddam it. Nothing. Why don't you just leave me alone ...
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    Liebesnacht
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    I dont want to talk about it anymore Harry.
    What do you mean you dont want to talk about it anymore? Just like that the discussions over, wham, goodbye?
    Her expression was stiff; her body as rigid as her attitude. She held the phone a few inches from her mouth and closed her eyes slightly and looked across the room at the wall and spoke very matter-of-factly. I see no reason to continue talking. You absolutely refuse to see my point of view and are unreasonably arbitrary about having your own way.
    His eyes snapped open as wide as possible and he twisted and turned and paced back and forth as his arms flew in all directions forcing him to almost pursue the phone from time to time to be sure he could be heard. My way? Whatta you talking about? Ive taken you to see Star Wars twice already and now youre bugged because I dont want to see it again tonight. How in the hell does that make me arbitrary? Im willing to do anything you -
    You see - her expression frozen in sternness - there you go again, trying to put the blame on me, trying to -
    Blame, blame - he spun around and leaned so far back that he was looking at the ceiling over the mouthpiece of the phone -whats this blame? Im not looking for blame. Im just trying -
    Youre just trying to make me feel like a fool for wanting to see the -
    No no, I dont care how many times you see the goddam flick, I just want to take you -
    You dont have to swear at me just to prove youre a man.
    Prove Im a man? - shaking his head and rolling his eyes - all I wanted to do was take you to a party and you come on with this crazy bullshit about Star Wars and -
    O now Im crazy. Thank you. Thanks a lot. Whats the matter, I attack your male ego?
    I dont believe this - slapping his head - I dont believe it. Having the rag on is one thing but this is ridic-
    Thats right, lets hide behind that and try and make me feel guilty or ridiculous or -
    Holy Krist, every time I talk to you lately its the same thing, the same nonsense.
    O now its nonsense if I dont want to constantly give in to you and your whims -
    Whims? What kind of whims? I just want to take you to a party and you -
    Harry, I dont want to talk about it further. You absolutely refuse to see my point of view.
    Refuse to - CLICK - What? What? - staring at the phone, holding it at arms length - whatta ya doin? Youre out ya head you crazy bitch, you ... you ... ah, who needsya. He slammed the receiver on the cradle and then slammed the phone on the table and left the house.
    He stomped his way up the street trying to pound his anger into the pavement, clenching and unclenching his jaw and fists, shaking his head and almost yelling out loud as his head continued the battle, trying to force a semblance of sense into Marys head with the sheer energy of his anger because it didnt make any sense. No matter how you slice it it just doesnt make any sense. She must have some kindda bug up her ass. I call and ask her if she wants to go out to dinner before the party and she suddenly says she doesnt want to go - his mind assumed a falsetto voice - I want to see Star Wars. I mean whats with this Star Wars? and whats with all this contrary shit lately? starting arguments over nothing. Make a date and then cancelling at the last minute or complaining about where we go and what we do after I ask what do you want to do???? If you dont like this and you dont like that then what in the hell do you wanna do? - the falsetto again - O you decide Harry. I cant make up my mind. Yeah, an everything I decide is no good. We go to a restaurant and all of a sudden the lighting is no good. The lighting, right? Who cares about the food? all of a sudden its the lights that are important.

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