Read Online Song of the Nile by Stephanie Dray - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Stephanie Dray
Tags: Fiction, Historical
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emperor’s favor and he asks you to condemn me, don’t hesitate!”
He jerked back as if I’d slapped him. “Selene, I would never betray you or condemn you. Just as I know that you’d never betray Helios.” Now Philadelphus was crying and I was consumed by guilt. How would I ever leave him behind? They’d have to tear him from my arms in front of everyone.
“If you see me off in the morning, I’ll fall apart. I’ll simply fall apart.”
“Then we’ll say our good-byes tonight,” he agreed. “We’ll stay up all night together. I won’t sleep.”
But he was still a boy. Hours later, with Bast curled up under his chin, sleep finally closed his eyes and I let that be our parting.
I was surprised to find Iullus in the hall. “You weren’t looking for me, were you?”
“No,” Iullus said. “I’m going to see Augustus.”
Oil lamps burned low, casting shadows over the painted walls. One sputtered out. “At this hour?”
My Roman half brother gave me a sharp look from under dark brows. “I’m going to ask him to annul Julia’s marriage and give her to me.”
I nearly stumbled in shock. Iullus had been my childhood nemesis, but we shared blood, so I gripped his arm to keep him from turning away. “What can you be thinking? If the emperor doesn’t laugh in your face he’ll have you shipped off to fight the Cantabri in Spain. That is, if you live so long. If he doesn’t kill you himself, Livia will see you dead by dinner!”
Like all my father’s sons, Iullus was well formed and handsome. At eighteen years old, he’d already served in war at the side of Augustus. He could have swatted me away with one strong arm, but instead he glared. “If Augustus can give a crown to Cleopatra’s daughter, why not give a great marriage to Antony’s son?”
Octavia had said it was my gift to inspire people to reach higher, but it seemed more like a curse. “Because I’m a girl . Augustus thinks I’m an ornament. An interesting amusement that suits his purposes. You’re Antony’s Roman son. If you tell the emperor that you want his daughter, he’ll think you’re trying to plot against him, trying to declare yourself his heir.”
“You just don’t want Julia and me to be together,” he said, but I saw he was wavering.
“You’re wrong.” I loved Julia and would begrudge her nothing. As far as I was concerned, Iullus’s secret affection for Julia was his only redeeming quality. “I only worry about you. In spite of everything, we’re family. That means something to me.”
“It’s because you worry about everything , Selene. You think you’re some savior. That you can go round and make everything right. Well, you can’t.” His criticism was too close to the truth for comfort, so I didn’t stop him when he stalked away. But I noticed that he returned to his room, and I prayed he had the good sense to stay there.
JUBA never came home that night, and I don’t remember that I slept. By morning there was nothing left to do but dress and take one last turn around the grounds. I passed the spinning room where Octavia had taught me to turn baskets of white fleece into spools of thread. Where Julia and I had worked the looms and woven cloth for tunics and togas. I walked through the courtyard where they’d first told me about Caesarion’s death, then through the gardens where I’d married Juba. So many slaves had been ordered to help prepare for our departure that there had been few left to clean up after the wedding. Remnants of the marriage feast were still scattered about, goblets tipped upon the stones. With a disapproving expression, Lady Octavia surveyed the mess, and I realized she was waiting for me, my wedding gift from Balbus draped over her arm. “I brought your cloak,” she said, reaching up to cover my shoulders. “You’ll want to wear it in the highlands of Africa. Give a care for your modesty and remember that even queens can catch a chill.”
“I’ll
He jerked back as if I’d slapped him. “Selene, I would never betray you or condemn you. Just as I know that you’d never betray Helios.” Now Philadelphus was crying and I was consumed by guilt. How would I ever leave him behind? They’d have to tear him from my arms in front of everyone.
“If you see me off in the morning, I’ll fall apart. I’ll simply fall apart.”
“Then we’ll say our good-byes tonight,” he agreed. “We’ll stay up all night together. I won’t sleep.”
But he was still a boy. Hours later, with Bast curled up under his chin, sleep finally closed his eyes and I let that be our parting.
I was surprised to find Iullus in the hall. “You weren’t looking for me, were you?”
“No,” Iullus said. “I’m going to see Augustus.”
Oil lamps burned low, casting shadows over the painted walls. One sputtered out. “At this hour?”
My Roman half brother gave me a sharp look from under dark brows. “I’m going to ask him to annul Julia’s marriage and give her to me.”
I nearly stumbled in shock. Iullus had been my childhood nemesis, but we shared blood, so I gripped his arm to keep him from turning away. “What can you be thinking? If the emperor doesn’t laugh in your face he’ll have you shipped off to fight the Cantabri in Spain. That is, if you live so long. If he doesn’t kill you himself, Livia will see you dead by dinner!”
Like all my father’s sons, Iullus was well formed and handsome. At eighteen years old, he’d already served in war at the side of Augustus. He could have swatted me away with one strong arm, but instead he glared. “If Augustus can give a crown to Cleopatra’s daughter, why not give a great marriage to Antony’s son?”
Octavia had said it was my gift to inspire people to reach higher, but it seemed more like a curse. “Because I’m a girl . Augustus thinks I’m an ornament. An interesting amusement that suits his purposes. You’re Antony’s Roman son. If you tell the emperor that you want his daughter, he’ll think you’re trying to plot against him, trying to declare yourself his heir.”
“You just don’t want Julia and me to be together,” he said, but I saw he was wavering.
“You’re wrong.” I loved Julia and would begrudge her nothing. As far as I was concerned, Iullus’s secret affection for Julia was his only redeeming quality. “I only worry about you. In spite of everything, we’re family. That means something to me.”
“It’s because you worry about everything , Selene. You think you’re some savior. That you can go round and make everything right. Well, you can’t.” His criticism was too close to the truth for comfort, so I didn’t stop him when he stalked away. But I noticed that he returned to his room, and I prayed he had the good sense to stay there.
JUBA never came home that night, and I don’t remember that I slept. By morning there was nothing left to do but dress and take one last turn around the grounds. I passed the spinning room where Octavia had taught me to turn baskets of white fleece into spools of thread. Where Julia and I had worked the looms and woven cloth for tunics and togas. I walked through the courtyard where they’d first told me about Caesarion’s death, then through the gardens where I’d married Juba. So many slaves had been ordered to help prepare for our departure that there had been few left to clean up after the wedding. Remnants of the marriage feast were still scattered about, goblets tipped upon the stones. With a disapproving expression, Lady Octavia surveyed the mess, and I realized she was waiting for me, my wedding gift from Balbus draped over her arm. “I brought your cloak,” she said, reaching up to cover my shoulders. “You’ll want to wear it in the highlands of Africa. Give a care for your modesty and remember that even queens can catch a chill.”
“I’ll
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