know what was going to happen with either of the long-distance relationships. There were plusses and minuses on every front. None of them was perfect. Well, maybe Sam was a little bit perfect. But I was afraid to trust him, with his reputation and so little to go on as far as a relationship.
Someone knocked on my door, and Shellie stuck her head around the doorjamb, made a face. Henry pushed his way into my room.
He shut the door and put his fists on his hips. He wore a leather jacket that looked good with the red and black checked scarf around his neck. His curly black hair was dotted with snow, and he unwound the scarf and shook the snow out of his hair. His gray eyes were alight with a heat that set something off in me. I scrabbled up the poem and the check and stuffed them back into the envelope.
“Henry! What are you doing here?”
“This needs to stop,” he said. “I’m sick of getting the brush-off. Are you seeing someone else?”
I felt betraying color sweep up my neck and suffuse my cheeks. “Not exactly.”
“I can tell something’s going on.” He grabbed the chair from my desk and straddled it in front of where I was sitting on the bed. “You keep canceling everything. Just tell me if it’s over.” Hectic patches of red brightened his cheeks, and the forcefulness of his voice stirred me.
It occurred to me in that moment that I liked alpha, take-charge men. Up until now, Henry had been too mellow with me, letting me set the pace between us, and it made me lose interest. I moved closer and took his chilled face in my hands, kissed his cold lips. They quickly warmed and opened under mine, and his arms clamped around me and drew me close. The chair back became the only thing separating us.
“I’m sorry,” I breathed. “There’s this long-distance thing. I don’t know what’s happening with it.”
“I knew it. I knew something was going on.”
“I’d like you to wait for me. Until after spring break. I’ll know more after. I promise. It will be on then, or off. For sure. Can you deal with that?” I held his jaw in my hands and gazed into his gray eyes. He closed them, as if he couldn’t bear to look at me.
He had the longest lashes, ferny and black. I kissed his closed eyelids, thinking, I could love this man, too.
“That’s it,” he said, standing up. “You have until after spring break. And here’s something so you know how I feel.” He took a cassette tape out of his pocket and set it on the dresser. “Call me when you get back.”
“I will. I promise,” I said.
I kissed him one more time at the door. My breasts remembered him and sent their vote south for consideration as I closed the door behind him, touching my mouth thoughtfully with my hand.
I picked up the cassette tape on the bureau and opened the plastic case. Taped to the cassette was a slim gold ring with the tiniest star on it and a moonstone like a dewdrop in the center. I peeled off the tape and slid the ring onto the third finger of my right hand.
It fit and looked lovely. Special . Like he made me feel. But not overwhelmed. Not scared of myself and of what could happen.
I put the cassette into my little boom box. It was a mix tape of Henry singing. Love songs, either solo, acoustic, or with his band. The songs were heartfelt and very good.
I wanted to cry.
Dammit.
I listened to the cassette and played with the diamond heart Sam had given me, as I twisted the ring on my finger around and around, and finally decided what I had to do.
Chapter 4
I got off the plane in San Francisco wearing my jade-green beret and scarf and the old pea coat. For once they were more than enough. March 3 in San Francisco was warm, the sky blue and depthless, the fog a far-off blanket on the other side of the city, and the hills across the bay green with spring.
I had left the suitcase with the broken wheel at the dorm and pared everything I brought down to my student backpack. In the baggage-claim area, I sat in front
Someone knocked on my door, and Shellie stuck her head around the doorjamb, made a face. Henry pushed his way into my room.
He shut the door and put his fists on his hips. He wore a leather jacket that looked good with the red and black checked scarf around his neck. His curly black hair was dotted with snow, and he unwound the scarf and shook the snow out of his hair. His gray eyes were alight with a heat that set something off in me. I scrabbled up the poem and the check and stuffed them back into the envelope.
“Henry! What are you doing here?”
“This needs to stop,” he said. “I’m sick of getting the brush-off. Are you seeing someone else?”
I felt betraying color sweep up my neck and suffuse my cheeks. “Not exactly.”
“I can tell something’s going on.” He grabbed the chair from my desk and straddled it in front of where I was sitting on the bed. “You keep canceling everything. Just tell me if it’s over.” Hectic patches of red brightened his cheeks, and the forcefulness of his voice stirred me.
It occurred to me in that moment that I liked alpha, take-charge men. Up until now, Henry had been too mellow with me, letting me set the pace between us, and it made me lose interest. I moved closer and took his chilled face in my hands, kissed his cold lips. They quickly warmed and opened under mine, and his arms clamped around me and drew me close. The chair back became the only thing separating us.
“I’m sorry,” I breathed. “There’s this long-distance thing. I don’t know what’s happening with it.”
“I knew it. I knew something was going on.”
“I’d like you to wait for me. Until after spring break. I’ll know more after. I promise. It will be on then, or off. For sure. Can you deal with that?” I held his jaw in my hands and gazed into his gray eyes. He closed them, as if he couldn’t bear to look at me.
He had the longest lashes, ferny and black. I kissed his closed eyelids, thinking, I could love this man, too.
“That’s it,” he said, standing up. “You have until after spring break. And here’s something so you know how I feel.” He took a cassette tape out of his pocket and set it on the dresser. “Call me when you get back.”
“I will. I promise,” I said.
I kissed him one more time at the door. My breasts remembered him and sent their vote south for consideration as I closed the door behind him, touching my mouth thoughtfully with my hand.
I picked up the cassette tape on the bureau and opened the plastic case. Taped to the cassette was a slim gold ring with the tiniest star on it and a moonstone like a dewdrop in the center. I peeled off the tape and slid the ring onto the third finger of my right hand.
It fit and looked lovely. Special . Like he made me feel. But not overwhelmed. Not scared of myself and of what could happen.
I put the cassette into my little boom box. It was a mix tape of Henry singing. Love songs, either solo, acoustic, or with his band. The songs were heartfelt and very good.
I wanted to cry.
Dammit.
I listened to the cassette and played with the diamond heart Sam had given me, as I twisted the ring on my finger around and around, and finally decided what I had to do.
Chapter 4
I got off the plane in San Francisco wearing my jade-green beret and scarf and the old pea coat. For once they were more than enough. March 3 in San Francisco was warm, the sky blue and depthless, the fog a far-off blanket on the other side of the city, and the hills across the bay green with spring.
I had left the suitcase with the broken wheel at the dorm and pared everything I brought down to my student backpack. In the baggage-claim area, I sat in front
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