Read Online Someday the Rabbi Will Leave by Harry Kemelman - Free Book Online Page B

front of the rabbi’s desk.
    He was dressed in a sober gray business suit, a blue shirt, and a knitted black tie. His outstretched feet were encased in highly polished black shoes. It was not his usual costume, which tended to be on the sporty side and ran to loud tweed jackets and even knotted kerchiefs in place of a necktie.
    The rabbi raised his eyebrows and asked, “Been to a funeral, Morton, or were you asked to read for a part in a play?”
    â€œNah”—with a wide sweep of the hand—“show business is lousy.” Then understanding came. “Oh, you mean the square-type threads. That’s on account of the new president.”
    â€œYou mean Howard Magnuson suggested you wear more sober clothing? He asked you to change from your usual attire?”
    â€œWhen they ask, David, it’s already too late. Then it’s criticism, see? It means you’ve done something—not wrong, maybe, but not right either. You’ve got to understand about these tycoon types, David. They can dress any way they please. They can come into the office in overalls, but the peasants, the underlings, they got to dress strictly square. Maybe he wouldn’t say anything, but in his mind, he’d think this one is not a team player.”
    The rabbi’s lips twitched. “And you came up to see if I was properly dressed?”
    Brooks looked at him with a sort of avuncular compassion. “You’ll never be dressed properly, David. That’s on account of you’ve got no clothes sense. Maybe it’s not what you wear so much as how you wear it.” With a wave of the hand he dismissed the rabbi’s sartorial problem. “No, I want you to take a look at this, David, and tell me what you think.”
    The rabbi took the paper held out to him.
    The paper was headed D UTIES AND R ESPONSIBILITIES OF THE P RINCIPAL OF THE R ELIGIOUS S CHOOL . It was typed and ran the length of the page. The rabbi read, nodding occasionally, “… responsible for formulating curricula for each grade … recommendations to School Committee … budget … confers with Rabbi on direction … hires teachers … confers with parents …”
    â€œThat’s pretty good,” said the rabbi when he finished. “Seems to me, though, you’ve put in a lot that’s pretty much implied in the first sentence about overall supervision of the school.”
    â€œIn this kind of thing, David, the more you put in the better. It builds up the job.”
    â€œWell, in that case, you might put in that you arrange with the cantor about special tutoring for the Bar Mitzvah boys.”
    â€œSay, that’s a good idea.” He reached for the paper and penciled into the margin, “Cantor—Bar Mitzvah boys.” “Anything else you can think of?” He looked up, pencil poised.
    â€œWell, when a teacher is absent, you take his class.”
    Morton Brooks considered as he scratched his thinning hair and then patted it back solicitously over his bald spot. Finally, he said, “Uh-uh. That might give him ideas.”
    â€œHim?”
    â€œMagnuson. He asked for this. Didn’t you get one? If I say that I cover classes for absent teachers, he’s apt to get the idea that I have time to take on another class, and maybe save a teacher’s salary. Guys like Magnuson worry me.”
    â€œReally? Why?”
    â€œIf he has us do job descriptions, next thing he’s apt to do a time and motion study on us, maybe end up paying us piecework.”
    The rabbi laughed. “That’s not too likely.”
    â€œNo? What do you know about Howard Magnuson?”
    â€œI understand that he’s connected with Magnuson and Beck, so I assume he’s in the retail business—”
    â€œNah.” Brooks was scornful. “They sold that back in 1929. Maybe they bought it back again because Magnuson and Beck is a conglomerate, which means their