Read Online Somebody Tell Aunt Tillie We're In Trouble! (The Toad Witch Mysteries Book 2) by Christiana Miller - Free Book Online Page A

brush.
    “You’re all done, sir,” he said, taking the plastic cape off Daniel.
    “How do I look?” Daniel asked me, preening and pointedly ignoring Paul.
    “Just like Cary Grant’s… great-great-grandfather.” I said.
    Daniel mock-frowned at me.
    “But I’ll still spring for dinner,” I quickly added.
    “On to my next victim,” Raoul said, winking at me. He was really cute and funny and sweet. I could see why his wife was so in love with him.
    It was funny because, until I dipped into Raoul’s head, I thought he was gay. Having spent so many years in Los Angeles, my basic assumption is that all guys are gay, unless they prove otherwise. I really had to knock that off though. I kept tripping over my assumptions out here and falling on my face.
     
    When Raoul opened the door to leave, a waft of strong perfume knocked me back. I must have turned green, because the next thing I knew, Daniel was offering me a plastic vomit bowl and a cup of water.
    “No, I’m good,” I said, pushing the bowl away. “I’ll take the water though.”
    “Is it still your stomach?” Paul asked, confused.
    “I’m sure it is,” Daniel cackled.
    “What the hell are you eating?” Paul asked. “No one has food poisoning for that long.”
    “Here you go, honey,” Daniel said, ignoring Paul. He opened the drawer of his bedside table and handed me a small bag of candied ginger. “Good for nausea. My wife used to swear by it when she was pregnant. I can’t eat it anymore. Gets stuck in my dentures.”
    I felt Paul stiffen as I took the bag and popped a piece of ginger in my mouth. Before I got pregnant, I never thought ginger would work for nausea, but it totally does. I actually started feeling better.
    “She’s not pregnant,” Paul said, woodenly. “She ate some bad shrimp.”
    “Oh, loosen up, boy,” Daniel clapped him on the back. “You can’t keep something like that a secret. Not from me. I may be old, but I have the sight of an eagle. An old eagle with trifocals. But an eagle, none-the-less.”
    I forced myself to smile. “Can’t keep anything from you, Daniel.”
    Paul shot me a dirty look—well, dirty was simplifying it. It was more a look of questioning horror.
    “So, do we know? Is it a boy or a girl? Nothing gladdens my heart more than having another wee one in the family.”
    “Speak for yourself, old man.” Paul muttered, his face darkening.
    “What did you say, boy?”
    “Nothing.”
    “You’d better watch your step, you little whippersnapper.” Daniel pounded his cane on the floor. “Speak up or hold your peace. Mumbling is just rude.”
    “I think it’s a girl.” I said, interrupting Paul before he could repeat his comment. “But Gus, my roommate, thinks it’s a boy.”
    Daniel hugged me and kissed my cheek. “Mazel tov! Well, I’m off to see my next honey. You two behave yourselves. And if you don’t, have them change the sheets.”
    He cackled and hobbled off, leaving us alone in his room to talk.
    As soon as the door had closed behind him, Paul turned to me, furious. “Pregnant?!”
     

Chapter 16
    I sighed. “I was going to tell you…”
    “When?!” He exploded. “You were going to tell me, when?”
    I shrugged. In the delivery room clearly wasn’t the right answer. “Soon. I didn’t want to screw with your therapy.”
    “Are you kidding me?! You just found out I was in therapy. How far along are you?” He ran his hand through his wiry blond hair.
    I tried to do the math. “I don’t know. Beginning of the second trimester, I think.”
    “Damn it. Still. Maybe it’s not too late.” Paul took his cell phone out of his pocket. “Hell, even if you were about to give birth, I’m sure we could find someone willing to fix things.”
    “What are you talking about? I don’t need anyone to fix anything.”
    He ignored me as he searched the Internet on his phone, until he finally found what he was looking for. “Here it is. We can be there in twenty minutes. Let’s