Read Online Soldier from Heaven (9781629021911) by Christine Thomann - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Christine Thomann
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don’t mean like the day he left the house to go back to Iraq. I mean after that.”
Jacob practically choked on his donut, and Ben’s eyes opened about five times wider and lit up like a Christmas tree.
“Do you mean when he came at night in secret?” asked Ben.
“Yes, I think that’s exactly what I’m talking about.”
“Yeah, I keep asking him to come back, but he isn’t.”
“I kn…,” I stopped myself just in time before revealing that I already knew his nightly routine. I continued, “I had a feeling you would do that. Can you tell us about that night, Ben?”
“Yeah. Daddy came in my room and helped me build my model. It was fun. He told me just how to do it, and I did it myself. It was a little weird though because it was late, and I was sleepy.”
“You didn’t tell me about it the next day, Ben. Why?”
“I showed you the model. But the men came over, and you were mad that day. And then the next day you got sick, and Grandmom told me Daddy went to Heaven. I know how far away Daddy was so I thought maybe he was a ghost.”
“How about you, Jacob?”
“Yeah, I saw him. He made me take out the trash with him and kept talking weird. He was saying I was the man of the house and had to help and stuff like that. It was weird that he came so early in the morning. I just thought he was on some secret mission. Then when Grandmom told us what happened, I thought I was just crazy.”
I could see Jacob’s eyes clouding over with tears. But as he tried his best to hold them in, I also sensed a feeling of relief in him. He must have been struggling so much with those feelings, and he just didn’t know what to do. Imagine, a child thinking he’s crazy. How could he even begin to deal with those feelings. He was always able to come to me about anything, but I wasn’t there for him. And when I finally was, he probably thought his mother had turned into a nut case, so what was the point in telling me?
“You aren’t crazy, Jacob. I’m sorry we didn’t talk about this sooner. Daddy came to Mary and me after he saw you two.”
“Wow,” said Ben in amazement. Both of the boys’ eyes were glued to me as I spoke.
“Like you Jacob, I thought Daddy was given a special secret assignment. That’s how it sounded when he spoke to me. He told me he was breaking the rules to be here. I found him with Mary just before the two of you woke up, and he showed me how Mary was walking. Somehow he managed to get her out of her crib and held her hands as she walked. Now that I think about it, he stopped me before I could hug him, and I didn’t get a kiss.”
“Yuck,” said Ben innocently.
We all couldn’t help but smile at that comment, and in that moment realized something special had happened to all of us.
“You see, we all were given a gift in those moments. Daddy loved us all so much that he made sure he was able to say good-bye. And he kept his promises to you boys. He didn’t choose to leave us, so we can’t be mad at him. And daddies don’t do that when they die, so we can’t expect him to do that again. Right Ben?”
“I guess. Should I stop asking him to come back?”
“I think so, honey. We should all just let Daddy rest in Heaven. He’ll be there when we get there.”
Jacob sat listening but didn’t say much. I didn’t quite know what else to say. Ben seemed content with the conversation, and I think it brought him closure. I wasn’t sure about Jacob though. And for me, I wasn’t so sure I could follow my advice about leaving Pete to rest in Heaven. I had gotten used to his visits and was afraid to release him for fear I would need him again. And of course, I would need him again.
Chapter 9
Problem Child
The day after the talk was the first day of school. It was like every other first day of school in years past. The boys struggled to get out of bed. I rushed to make a good breakfast while yelling for them to get up and get dressed. I wasn’t a morning person, so I wasn’t up
Jacob practically choked on his donut, and Ben’s eyes opened about five times wider and lit up like a Christmas tree.
“Do you mean when he came at night in secret?” asked Ben.
“Yes, I think that’s exactly what I’m talking about.”
“Yeah, I keep asking him to come back, but he isn’t.”
“I kn…,” I stopped myself just in time before revealing that I already knew his nightly routine. I continued, “I had a feeling you would do that. Can you tell us about that night, Ben?”
“Yeah. Daddy came in my room and helped me build my model. It was fun. He told me just how to do it, and I did it myself. It was a little weird though because it was late, and I was sleepy.”
“You didn’t tell me about it the next day, Ben. Why?”
“I showed you the model. But the men came over, and you were mad that day. And then the next day you got sick, and Grandmom told me Daddy went to Heaven. I know how far away Daddy was so I thought maybe he was a ghost.”
“How about you, Jacob?”
“Yeah, I saw him. He made me take out the trash with him and kept talking weird. He was saying I was the man of the house and had to help and stuff like that. It was weird that he came so early in the morning. I just thought he was on some secret mission. Then when Grandmom told us what happened, I thought I was just crazy.”
I could see Jacob’s eyes clouding over with tears. But as he tried his best to hold them in, I also sensed a feeling of relief in him. He must have been struggling so much with those feelings, and he just didn’t know what to do. Imagine, a child thinking he’s crazy. How could he even begin to deal with those feelings. He was always able to come to me about anything, but I wasn’t there for him. And when I finally was, he probably thought his mother had turned into a nut case, so what was the point in telling me?
“You aren’t crazy, Jacob. I’m sorry we didn’t talk about this sooner. Daddy came to Mary and me after he saw you two.”
“Wow,” said Ben in amazement. Both of the boys’ eyes were glued to me as I spoke.
“Like you Jacob, I thought Daddy was given a special secret assignment. That’s how it sounded when he spoke to me. He told me he was breaking the rules to be here. I found him with Mary just before the two of you woke up, and he showed me how Mary was walking. Somehow he managed to get her out of her crib and held her hands as she walked. Now that I think about it, he stopped me before I could hug him, and I didn’t get a kiss.”
“Yuck,” said Ben innocently.
We all couldn’t help but smile at that comment, and in that moment realized something special had happened to all of us.
“You see, we all were given a gift in those moments. Daddy loved us all so much that he made sure he was able to say good-bye. And he kept his promises to you boys. He didn’t choose to leave us, so we can’t be mad at him. And daddies don’t do that when they die, so we can’t expect him to do that again. Right Ben?”
“I guess. Should I stop asking him to come back?”
“I think so, honey. We should all just let Daddy rest in Heaven. He’ll be there when we get there.”
Jacob sat listening but didn’t say much. I didn’t quite know what else to say. Ben seemed content with the conversation, and I think it brought him closure. I wasn’t sure about Jacob though. And for me, I wasn’t so sure I could follow my advice about leaving Pete to rest in Heaven. I had gotten used to his visits and was afraid to release him for fear I would need him again. And of course, I would need him again.
Chapter 9
Problem Child
The day after the talk was the first day of school. It was like every other first day of school in years past. The boys struggled to get out of bed. I rushed to make a good breakfast while yelling for them to get up and get dressed. I wasn’t a morning person, so I wasn’t up
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