Read Online Soldier from Heaven (9781629021911) by Christine Thomann - Free Book Online Page A

all a part of healing. At first we are angry and sad all of the time. Eventually, we have better days when we can smile at different things. And then finally, we find that we are happy most of the time and don’t think about our loss much at all. It’s normal. I never want you to forget Daddy, and I know you never will. Mary will need us to help her remember. But we can’t feel guilty when we realize we didn’t think of him all day. I still cry sometimes and miss him terribly. I’d give anything to change what happened. But I can’t. It took me a long time to get to this point, and it’s good to be here. But I have a long way to go. I’m always here for you, Jacob, and you have to promise me that you will talk to me just like this when you have feelings you don’t understand. I know you aren’t very excited about school, but I know it will help you take your mind off of things as you focus on work. And that is a good thing, I promise. You can’t let this loss ruin your life. You have to choose to live. That’s what Daddy wants.”
    “How do you know?”
    “I just know.”
    “But how?”
    “Maybe it’s time for another talk tomorrow, sweetie. One that’s been a long time coming. But for now, get some sleep, okay?”
    “Okay, good night, Mommy. I love you.”
    “I love you too, sweetheart,” I replied as I held him tight. “Let me get your sleepyhead brother into bed, and then I’ll be in to say prayers with you.

    All of us were sleeping when I felt a hand touch my hair. I opened my eyes and found Pete sitting on the edge of my bed.
    “Hey angel.”
    “Hi. What are you doing here?”
    “Sorry to wake you. I just wanted to see you. I heard you talking with Jacob tonight. What are you planning on talking about tomorrow?”
    “I think it’s time I told him that I saw you the morning after you died. He’s smart enough to realize you were already gone when you went to him that night. I don’t know what he’s going through, but I want to make sure that isn’t bothering him.”
    “What about Ben?”
    “I don’t think Ben realizes what happened. I think he believes you came home before you actually died. He doesn’t grasp time like we do.”
    “I think you need to talk to Ben too.”
    “He’s too young, Pete. I don’t want to dredge up any more sadness or give him any more false hopes. He already suggested that we pray to bring you back. How can I tell him that you sort of already came back?”
    “He knows, Catherine. And every night he calls to me asking that I come back.”
    “Oh my. Oh, my poor boy. Why didn’t he tell me?”
    “He doesn’t think you’ll believe him. He needs this conversation, Catherine. I think it will comfort him and hopefully let him heal.”
    “Okay, I will. But I’m not going to tell them that you still come to me. They’ll think you don’t love them.”
    “I agree. Just talk about that night with them. It will help.”
    Pete again said what he had to say and then left. I fell back to sleep right away.
    The next morning, I woke knowing I had a huge talk ahead of me. It was Sunday, and I figured we had better go to church first. I would take them to get donuts, and we would talk over them at home. I couldn’t help but look at Ben and picture him calling his daddy to come back. I wondered how he felt each night that his daddy didn’t come. He must have been sad and disappointed. I hoped he didn’t feel that his daddy didn’t want to come back or that his daddy didn’t love him enough. He needed this talk badly.

    “Boys, I need to talk to you about something very important, but you have to keep it a family secret, okay?”
    “Okay,” Ben replied with excitement about the idea of a secret as he shoved a huge bite of a chocolate donut in his mouth.
    “It’s about Daddy. I think we all had something happen to us that we haven’t told each other, and I think it’s time that we shared. We lost Daddy, but we all know he was able to say good-bye. And I