move it, all too aware
Spindle was patiently waiting for me. I stood and turned my back,
my steps shuffling a bit. Fatigue filled me like sand. I felt so
heavy.
“I believe it would be prudent for you to get
some rest, Master Socket.”
I was nodding. He was right. I wanted to tell
him I was heading to my bedroom, but stopped in front of Pike,
mesmerized by his repeated movements.
“Why are you watching him?” Spindle asked.
“He should not be of interest.”
I was still nodding like I was stuck in a
trance, transfixed by Pike’s suffering. I could feel Spindle’s
eyelight on me. Finally, I muttered, “Because I don’t if I can
trust my visions.”
“Are you referring to Pike as a free
man?”
Pike jerked in his chair like he heard his
name. His head rolled around and settled. “There’s that,” I said. I
told him about the blackouts and the intensity of the visions that
were nonsensical and unsettling.
“You have not reported these visions, Master
Socket. The Commander will be displeased.”
Pike was back into his moaning rhythm
again.
“I’ll report them,” I said. “It’s just… these
visions are different. They keep drawing me back to him.” I
gestured to Pike. “Somehow, he knows I’m having them. Like he knows
what they mean.”
“That is impossible. He has no means of
contact outside his confinement, and that is precisely why the
Commander forbids you further contact.”
“He knows something, Spindle.” I looked
directly at his eyelight. “I can feel it.”
“Would you like me to schedule an appointment
with the minder psychologist? Perhaps he can unblock subconscious
thoughts that will allow you some understanding of your
situation.”
I looked across the room. Chute rolled over
and settled back into sleep. Maybe he was right, I should get
things checked out. Maybe someone could help me get some clarity.
Or maybe, for once, my future was cloudy. I’d known about things
that were about to happen for too long and now it was bothering me
that I didn’t. Maybe it would be good to be in the present moment
without knowing the future.
I shook my head. Spindle’s eyelight
brightened. He waited for me to respond. I called for the room to
kill the projections. Chute and Pike’s images faded out and the
walls began glowing to keep us out of the dark.
“Perhaps we should begin a review of your
wormhole travel.” Spindle took a step. “Your trip is in two days
and you still have to complete the orientation.”
“Tomorrow. Right now I need to sit.”
“If I may suggest—”
I held up my hand. “Thank you, Spindle. But
we can go over this later.”
“Very well.”
The office transformed into the darkened
forest, a live feed from the middle of the Preserve. The floor
sprouted the green turf of the tagghet field with trees all around.
I went to a meditation cushion nestled in the lush grass. The sky
was dark, but sunrise wasn’t far off.
“Spindle.” He stopped before exiting. “Send
the kids up here when it’s time for them to rise. We’ll sit in my
office this morning.”
He nodded and left. I folded my legs and
straightened my back, taking a deep breath. The present moment felt
so fragile. I didn’t like that, but being present had little to do
with how I felt.
Lost in Space
I stepped out of the shower room and pressed
my face into a towel. It’d been over fifty hours. Still no sleep. I
was feeling it in my face, but my eyes refused to shut. The
exhaustion wore on me like a suit of armor. I wasn’t fighting it
anymore; I just let the heaviness be there. Still, no sleep.
I’d finished a long game of tagghet with the
kids earlier that day, told them about Chute’s visit when I
returned. Playing tagghet with me and Spindle was one thing, but
testing their skills against one of the best high school players
would let them know where they were. The boys weren’t half as
excited as the girls until I showed them an image of her. She was
talented and hot.
I
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