Read Online Social Lives by Wendy Walker - Free Book Online

another.
    Still, they had been as content a group of misfits as was possible—Cait, Billy, and the three others—flying under the radar at school, making their own fun on the weekends, watching movies, sneaking beer. And when she pretended there were no Amandas, no perfect others doing something better, something bigger, their mundane amusements were actually satisfying. When the kiss came, finally, after months of flirting and talk within their circle about the attraction everyone could sense, this almost seemed possible, this feat of closing Amanda Jamison from her thoughts.
    They’d gone to look for beer in the pool house fridge, but before they could get there, Billy had pulled her to the back. He’d given no explanation, and she hadn’t needed one. They had both known from the outset that this would be the moment. He’d steadied her face with his hands, as though he might somehow miss her lips. They had closed their eyes, shutting out their surroundings, traveling instead to that magical place where fantasy becomes reality, even for a split second. Of course, reality is never quite as good. His breath smelled of chips, his tongue lay inside her mouth like a giant anchovy, and his shaking body wasn’t exactly the manly figure she had so needed to hold her, to keep her from falling further and further from any vision of life that was worth the effort. But it was tender and warm, and Cait had felt a different kind of pleasure than she had expected. It was, at its core, genuine and sweet.
    They kissed many times after that first time, stolen moments in private corners of the large estates that were their playground. Billy’s performance improved, the shaking disappeared, and they fell into the comfortable rhythm of a first relationship. His family’s property abutted hers on one side, and it was there that they would meet, sometimes in the middle of the night, to talk and roll around in the cool grass, kissing and holding each other, wondering where it would lead and how soon. They talked about their families, the teachers they hated at the Academy, and the stories they heard about their peers. It was as close to peaceful as Cait had ever felt, which was, she imagined, the reason she’d had to kill it.
    Everything had a place and time, and it was here and now, in the ninth grade, that her life was finally turning around. She’d been accepted, and no one in her right mind would turn down that invitation. That it came at Billy’s expense was the price she’d been willing to pay, even though it haunted her, the guilt, at moments like this one, when they were sitting in the same room eating lunch two tables apart. She did her best to avoid catching his wounded gaze, and she could feel today the scornful eyes of her former friends upon her. Everyone knew about the hallway, the incident with Kyle Conrad. She could hardly think the words without wanting to crawl under the table, but yes, the
blow job
. What must he be thinking? For six months, all they did was kiss and wonder, kiss and fantasize. Every time he’d reached his hand under her shirt, she had pulled away. How desperate he now seemed, looking back. Lying on top of her, his hard dick pressing into her leg, and that puppy doglook in his eye like she was the love of his life and wouldn’t she please give him just a little more? It was all so after-school special.
    â€œCait?” Amanda was watching her as well, wondering where she’d gone.
    â€œIs he staring again?” Cait asked, looking up to meet her friend’s eyes.
    Amanda leaned back nonchalantly and did a wide perusal of the cafeteria. “He was, but not now. He’s getting up with his tray.”
    Cait nodded and took another sip of her diet soda. “And the others?”
    Amanda gave her a disapproving look, then leaned forward to accentuate the point. “Screw the others, okay? They used to be your friends, and now they’re