because she’s gone off for a cigarette break. I’d like to tell her that she’ll never get a boyfriend when she smells of stale smoke all the time, but as I’m not exactly one to talk when it comes to getting boyfriends I’ve never got round to it. Besides, she’d probably put me in detention for life.) All the girls had been going on and on about kissing: what it was like to kiss a boy, who’d kissed the most boys and who was the best kisser. Of course Anne-Marie and Menakshi made themselves out to be the experts, acting all giggly and flicking their hair round like they were so cool. And most of the other girls said they’d kissed someone too, even if in one case it was just their older cousin at a family wedding. I knewwhat was coming even before Anne-Marie locked eyes on me.
“What about these two?” Anne-Marie had said with that evil-genius grin of hers. “Let’s ask them who they’ve kissed. I would have refused to answer but Nydia still works on the principle that you should never overturn a gesture of friendship, even if it’s clearly a thinly veiled means of inflicting more ridicule on us. Nydia always thinks people are basically nice. Even people like Anne-Marie who have all the warmth and human compassion of a cannibal alien lizard from outer space. So of course she told everybody happily that the only boy she’d ever kissed was in her dreams, as if she was oblivious to the sniggers and giggles all around her. I was so horrified that when it came to my turn, I lied, I out and out lied to try and save not only my dignity but Nydia’s too, even if she didn’t know it needed saving.
“I’ve kissed a boy, OK?” I said. “So can we leave now?”
“Kissed who?” Anne-Marie demanded incredulously, looking around at the other girls with carefully staged disbelief.
“No one you know,” I said, hoping they wouldn’t spot that it was obviously a lie and put my bright red cheeksdown to embarrassment rather than deceit. “It was when we were on holiday,” I blustered on. “It was a boy I met at the ice rink. It was then, OK?” Anne-Marie raised one of her plucked eyebrows and looked around at the other girls.
“It’s a miracle,” she said archly. “Some poor dope actually locked braces with little Ruby here. I bet he’s still getting over the trauma.” Everyone laughed and Anne-Marie tossed her hair again, clearly loving herself more than ever.
“I don’t wear braces any more,” I’d said angrily, praying for Ms Logan to finish her cigarette and open the changing room door.
“No,” Anne-Marie agreed. “But you’re still really ugly.”
It was a painful memory, one I’d tried hard to forget, even if, quite clearly, Nydia hadn’t.
“I was lying, you idiot,” I told Nydia, maybe a bit abruptly. “So I didn’t look so bad in front of the others?” I squirmed uncomfortably. I should have told Nydia straightaway instead of just telling her I wasn’t ready to talk about my first kiss yet.
“Like I did, you mean,” Nydia said, obviously feeling a bit hurt that I hadn’t told her the truth at the time. “So that was why you were so cagey about the details – you didn’t have any.” I gave her my best apologetic look.
“I’m sorry,” I told her. “But, well, I mean it doesn’t matter now, does it, Nyd? The point is, I haven’t kissed anyone ever and I don’t know what to do!”
Nydia gave me the same look she gives her brothers when they’ve been especially irritating and then she rolled her eyes to the ceiling and thought for a moment. “I know,” she said, holding up her balled fist. “We can practise on the back of our hands!” I looked at the back of my hand and made a “yuck” face.
“How are the backs of our hands anything like Justin’s lips?” I asked her. “Only kids try snogging the backs of their hands! Anyway, slobbering over my own hand isn’t going to give me any tips, it’s just going to make me feel icky.” Nydia bit her lip and
“What about these two?” Anne-Marie had said with that evil-genius grin of hers. “Let’s ask them who they’ve kissed. I would have refused to answer but Nydia still works on the principle that you should never overturn a gesture of friendship, even if it’s clearly a thinly veiled means of inflicting more ridicule on us. Nydia always thinks people are basically nice. Even people like Anne-Marie who have all the warmth and human compassion of a cannibal alien lizard from outer space. So of course she told everybody happily that the only boy she’d ever kissed was in her dreams, as if she was oblivious to the sniggers and giggles all around her. I was so horrified that when it came to my turn, I lied, I out and out lied to try and save not only my dignity but Nydia’s too, even if she didn’t know it needed saving.
“I’ve kissed a boy, OK?” I said. “So can we leave now?”
“Kissed who?” Anne-Marie demanded incredulously, looking around at the other girls with carefully staged disbelief.
“No one you know,” I said, hoping they wouldn’t spot that it was obviously a lie and put my bright red cheeksdown to embarrassment rather than deceit. “It was when we were on holiday,” I blustered on. “It was a boy I met at the ice rink. It was then, OK?” Anne-Marie raised one of her plucked eyebrows and looked around at the other girls.
“It’s a miracle,” she said archly. “Some poor dope actually locked braces with little Ruby here. I bet he’s still getting over the trauma.” Everyone laughed and Anne-Marie tossed her hair again, clearly loving herself more than ever.
“I don’t wear braces any more,” I’d said angrily, praying for Ms Logan to finish her cigarette and open the changing room door.
“No,” Anne-Marie agreed. “But you’re still really ugly.”
It was a painful memory, one I’d tried hard to forget, even if, quite clearly, Nydia hadn’t.
“I was lying, you idiot,” I told Nydia, maybe a bit abruptly. “So I didn’t look so bad in front of the others?” I squirmed uncomfortably. I should have told Nydia straightaway instead of just telling her I wasn’t ready to talk about my first kiss yet.
“Like I did, you mean,” Nydia said, obviously feeling a bit hurt that I hadn’t told her the truth at the time. “So that was why you were so cagey about the details – you didn’t have any.” I gave her my best apologetic look.
“I’m sorry,” I told her. “But, well, I mean it doesn’t matter now, does it, Nyd? The point is, I haven’t kissed anyone ever and I don’t know what to do!”
Nydia gave me the same look she gives her brothers when they’ve been especially irritating and then she rolled her eyes to the ceiling and thought for a moment. “I know,” she said, holding up her balled fist. “We can practise on the back of our hands!” I looked at the back of my hand and made a “yuck” face.
“How are the backs of our hands anything like Justin’s lips?” I asked her. “Only kids try snogging the backs of their hands! Anyway, slobbering over my own hand isn’t going to give me any tips, it’s just going to make me feel icky.” Nydia bit her lip and
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