Read Online SM 101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Jay Wiseman
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was also becoming increasingly clear to me that, while I was well-suited to being a doctor, I was even better suited to being a writer, and it was making less and less sense to spend my working life not using my strongest talents. I therefore, very sadly and reluctantly, let go of my dream of becoming a doctor and concentrated on my writing career.
Now back to our story. Backdrop had re-emerged, and changed somewhat. I’m sure I had also changed. Robin Roberts and I were still on friendly terms, but the place just didn’t seem like “home” anymore.
Gemini had become more couples-oriented and bureaucratic. It was now also quite isolated from the rest of the SM community, and preferred it that way. (Among other things, my suggestion that Gemini donate money in support of a local, highly respected woman who had been badly injured in an auto accident was bluntly refused on the grounds that she was a dominant.) They also now prided themselves on having “a better class of people.” Once again, thus is the human condition.
Gemini and I went our separate ways not too much later, under very bitter circumstances. Frankly, I’m glad I played no part in what it had become. (Let me add that it is now under different management.)
On the other hand, Janus now had many more heterosexual members than before. It also now gave parties and socials in addition to its educational programs. Janus offered a flexible, tolerant option, and many of my friends were already members. I re-joined and started hanging out there again.
The final change was the grim and forceful emergence of AIDS. Several people I knew were now sick. A few were no longer with us. (More would follow, including Cynthia Slater.)
I’ve basically been hanging around Janus since then. I’ve found and lost lovers here, made many friends and a few enemies, been put on some “in crowd” mailing lists for private SM parties and taken off others, made contributions and created disturbances, helped edit the newsletter, taught “all pervert” CPR classes (I’ll never really stop being a medic), and otherwise continued as a “known member” of this community.
And what a wonderful community it is! The people I have met here have a sense of honesty and a level of personal responsibility for their lives that I have never found in any other group. They are caring people, excellent communicators, and top-notch negotiators. (I’ve long said that when two people are alone together, and one of them is naked and tied up, and the other is standing over them holding whips and other “torture” implements, this is not the time to have a serious mismatch of expectations.)
I have here found my friends, my peer group, my tribe, and my lovers. While they all, of course, have their flaws, these people, these “damnedest, finest perverts,” with their honesty, their honor, their high sense of personal responsibility and ethics, their strong communication skills, their caring for one another, and their playfulness make them the finest group ofhuman beings it has ever been my proud privilege to know. That they have accepted me “warts and all” into their community is one of the highest compliments I have ever received.
The Sociology, Politics, and Economics of SM
In the 1970s, we saw a fascinating phenomenon: the “Gay Liberation” movement. Rejected by society, these people joined together, pooled their resources, and became a potent economic, social, and political force.
The gay community’s support is now important, sometimes essential, for election in many cities. County, state, and even national candidates often take stands on gay-rights issues. If the Kinsey estimates can be believed, a group that forms about five percent of the population has become a major political force.
That being so, what are the implications for a group more than double that size? New York, San Francisco, Los Angeles, and Washington are only a few of the cities that have had a self-aware
Now back to our story. Backdrop had re-emerged, and changed somewhat. I’m sure I had also changed. Robin Roberts and I were still on friendly terms, but the place just didn’t seem like “home” anymore.
Gemini had become more couples-oriented and bureaucratic. It was now also quite isolated from the rest of the SM community, and preferred it that way. (Among other things, my suggestion that Gemini donate money in support of a local, highly respected woman who had been badly injured in an auto accident was bluntly refused on the grounds that she was a dominant.) They also now prided themselves on having “a better class of people.” Once again, thus is the human condition.
Gemini and I went our separate ways not too much later, under very bitter circumstances. Frankly, I’m glad I played no part in what it had become. (Let me add that it is now under different management.)
On the other hand, Janus now had many more heterosexual members than before. It also now gave parties and socials in addition to its educational programs. Janus offered a flexible, tolerant option, and many of my friends were already members. I re-joined and started hanging out there again.
The final change was the grim and forceful emergence of AIDS. Several people I knew were now sick. A few were no longer with us. (More would follow, including Cynthia Slater.)
I’ve basically been hanging around Janus since then. I’ve found and lost lovers here, made many friends and a few enemies, been put on some “in crowd” mailing lists for private SM parties and taken off others, made contributions and created disturbances, helped edit the newsletter, taught “all pervert” CPR classes (I’ll never really stop being a medic), and otherwise continued as a “known member” of this community.
And what a wonderful community it is! The people I have met here have a sense of honesty and a level of personal responsibility for their lives that I have never found in any other group. They are caring people, excellent communicators, and top-notch negotiators. (I’ve long said that when two people are alone together, and one of them is naked and tied up, and the other is standing over them holding whips and other “torture” implements, this is not the time to have a serious mismatch of expectations.)
I have here found my friends, my peer group, my tribe, and my lovers. While they all, of course, have their flaws, these people, these “damnedest, finest perverts,” with their honesty, their honor, their high sense of personal responsibility and ethics, their strong communication skills, their caring for one another, and their playfulness make them the finest group ofhuman beings it has ever been my proud privilege to know. That they have accepted me “warts and all” into their community is one of the highest compliments I have ever received.
The Sociology, Politics, and Economics of SM
In the 1970s, we saw a fascinating phenomenon: the “Gay Liberation” movement. Rejected by society, these people joined together, pooled their resources, and became a potent economic, social, and political force.
The gay community’s support is now important, sometimes essential, for election in many cities. County, state, and even national candidates often take stands on gay-rights issues. If the Kinsey estimates can be believed, a group that forms about five percent of the population has become a major political force.
That being so, what are the implications for a group more than double that size? New York, San Francisco, Los Angeles, and Washington are only a few of the cities that have had a self-aware