Read Online Skinny by Donna Cooner - Free Book Online Page B

could swear you almost hear music like when angels appear in the movies when Rat smiles. It makes me feel better. How could it not?
    The curtain pulls back with a squeak, and my dad is there.
    “Hey, Mr. Davies.”
    “Rat.” Even my dad doesn’t know his real first name. “How’s it going here?”
    “Good. She’s almost ready,” Rat reports like he’s the doctor in charge. “They have her IV started, and we’re waiting for the anesthesiologist.” He stands. “Here, take this chair. I need to go to the bathroom.”
    If it was anyone else, I would think he was being sensitive to leave me and my dad alone for a while. But it’s Rat, so I think it probably means he has to go to the bathroom. He pulls the curtains back and disappears. Dad drags the chair over closer to the bed and sits down.
    My dad sent me a letter once when I was thirteen. He actually mailed it to our house. I guess he didn’t know how else to get my attention. It was after he tried to say something to me when I took a second piece of chocolate cake after dinner. He looked at me like he’d been looking at me a lot, with this critical, disapproving look.
    “He’s sorry he has such a fat, ugly daughter.” It was the first time I heard Skinny clearly. She’d been mumbling around inside my mind for a while, but this time her words came out in fully formed sentences. “You are such an embarrassment.”
    “Do you really need that second piece?” my dad had asked.
    “Yes,” I mumbled around the huge bite I’d stuffed into my mouth, “I do.”
    I ate every bite. My dad kept glancing over at me with that disgusted look on his face, and I kept stuffing in the forkfuls of chocolate. When it was done, I put the fork down on the smeared plate and stomped upstairs to my room. I pushed my headphones in my ears and turned the Rent soundtrack up loud enough to drown out every thing else.
    The letter came a few days later. I didn’t recognize the round, loopy handwriting. I don’t think I’d ever seen my dad’s handwriting like that. On a single page of notebook paper.
    Dear Ever,
    The reason I want you to lose weight is because I love you, and I want you to be happy. I want you to fall in love someday and have children of your own. If that’s what you want. I know what boys are like. Finding someone who will take the time to look beyond just your looks might be hard. I want you to have a healthy, long life full of many exciting opportunities. Being overweight may keep you from doing everything you want. That’s why I want you to lose weight.
    I love you, Dad
    I crumpled the letter into my fist and sat there on my bed for a long time. Finally, I unclenched my fingers and smoothed out the paper. I read it again. It just wasn’t fair. God made some people naturally skinny and some people naturally fat. I’d never know how my life would have been different if I’d been one of the ones He made skinny. I didn’t know how He chose. This one will be blond, with long thin legs and great skin. This one will be short and fat with legs that rub together when she walks. I just knew I wasn’t one of the lucky ones.
    “Your father is right. No one is going to love you.”
    Eventually, I folded the letter into a tiny little square and stuffed it into the bottom back corner of my sock drawer. My dad and I never spoke about it. Over the next six months I gained fifty more pounds.
    “Are you sure you want to do this, peanut?” Dad reaches for my hand across the thin white sheet. “You know I love you no matter what, right?”
    “I know, Dad.”
    “I’d walk right out with you if you want to change your mind.”
    Are those tears in his eyes? This isn’t helping me. “I know, Dad.”
    “I just wish I could talk to her one more time.”
    “Who?”
    “Your mom.”
    I look over at him, surprised. I know he misses her, but he’s never said anything like this before.
    “We used to talk about every thing. The good. The bad.”
    Now my eyes fill with