Read Online Six Geese a-Laying by Sophie Kinsella - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Sophie Kinsella
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teens, for a start. I mean, fancy having a baby at the age of twenty-two! People just don’t
do
that any more. So of course she hasn’t got the confidence of the rest of us, bless her.
And to be honest, I think it’s a shame. The last thing the rest of us need is some drippy, insecure girl bringing us down. Especially when the classes are so oversubscribed. You’d think Petal could have found someone more…suitable.
‘I haven’t even thought about names,’ she says, her voice barely above a whisper. ‘I just,’ she swallows. ‘I just can’t get my head round it.’
‘I’ve got a book you can borrow…’ begins Georgia.
‘Not just that. All of it.’ Grace looks imploringly around at the rest of us. ‘Motherhood. Being responsible for another life. What if the baby gets ill and I don’t recognize the symptoms and it dies? What if I don’t bond with it?’
‘You’ll bond with it,’ says Gina in sure tones. ‘It’s nature.’
‘But what if I don’t? I listen to you all talking away and I think, how can you all be so confident?’ She sounds almost desperate. ‘Don’t you ever have any worries? Don’t you ever doubt yourselves?’
Oh, for goodness sake. This is what I mean. She’s all wrong for the class! Maybe some people go to antenatal classes to moan on about their insecurities. But we’re just not that kind of women. We know what we want. We know ourselves. Frankly, we
don’t
have any doubts. I think it’s an age thing.
I glance at Geraldine, who has a perplexed frown. Georgia looks rather blank. Gina is stroking her bump with a beatific smile.
Then Geraldine glances down at her watch. ‘I call this a con!’ she says. ‘We’ve paid for Petal Harmon’s time. Not some jumped up health visitor—’
The door opens and we all swing round, but it’s only Gabby, in her black Formes trousers and jacket, holding her Palm Pilot open and talking into her mobile phone headset.
‘Yup,’ she’s saying. ‘Yup. FedEx both of them off. And get me the Anderson figures. OK, I’ve gotta go now. I’ll call as soon as I’m out of this place.’ She snaps her PalmPilot closed and looks around. ‘What’d I miss?’
‘Nothing,’ says Geraldine. ‘We’ve all just been sitting here waiting for some “special speaker”. Special rip-off, more like.’
‘I assure you,’ Petal’s calm voice from the back of the room makes us all jump, ‘my last speaker is not a rip-off.’ She’s walking to the front now as Gabby takes her seat. ‘I might go so far as to say this last lesson will make the information I have given you in the preceding weeks seem irrelevant.’
There’s silence in the room. As Petal looks around there’s a faint smile at her lips and her eyes look even more witchy than usual.
‘Some of you may have wondered why you were offered places in my class. You will be aware that a lot of women apply, but not many are accepted.’
A glow of pleasure creeps over me. As I glance around I can see the same smug smiles on everyone else’s faces too. All except Grace, who’s looking as petrified as ever.
‘Let me just say that I felt you could all particularly benefit from this final lesson.’ She reaches for the switch and dims the light, then draws the door closed. We all exchange glances through the gloom.
‘Sounds quite mysterious!’ says Geraldine with a laugh. ‘I wonder what this is all about.’
‘I did once hear a rumour,’ begins Gina, lowering her voice. ‘I heard that Petal Harmon can foresee what kind of labour you’re going to have. And that she tells you on your final lesson.’
‘I heard she could tell the sex of your baby,’ says Gabby, busily texting. ‘But what’s the point, with ultrasound? Anyway, I know what kind of labour I’m going to have.’
Suddenly the room goes even darker, although no one’s been near the switch. The only light comes from the white of the snow outside the window and the glow of Gabby’s mobile.
‘Great,’
do
that any more. So of course she hasn’t got the confidence of the rest of us, bless her.
And to be honest, I think it’s a shame. The last thing the rest of us need is some drippy, insecure girl bringing us down. Especially when the classes are so oversubscribed. You’d think Petal could have found someone more…suitable.
‘I haven’t even thought about names,’ she says, her voice barely above a whisper. ‘I just,’ she swallows. ‘I just can’t get my head round it.’
‘I’ve got a book you can borrow…’ begins Georgia.
‘Not just that. All of it.’ Grace looks imploringly around at the rest of us. ‘Motherhood. Being responsible for another life. What if the baby gets ill and I don’t recognize the symptoms and it dies? What if I don’t bond with it?’
‘You’ll bond with it,’ says Gina in sure tones. ‘It’s nature.’
‘But what if I don’t? I listen to you all talking away and I think, how can you all be so confident?’ She sounds almost desperate. ‘Don’t you ever have any worries? Don’t you ever doubt yourselves?’
Oh, for goodness sake. This is what I mean. She’s all wrong for the class! Maybe some people go to antenatal classes to moan on about their insecurities. But we’re just not that kind of women. We know what we want. We know ourselves. Frankly, we
don’t
have any doubts. I think it’s an age thing.
I glance at Geraldine, who has a perplexed frown. Georgia looks rather blank. Gina is stroking her bump with a beatific smile.
Then Geraldine glances down at her watch. ‘I call this a con!’ she says. ‘We’ve paid for Petal Harmon’s time. Not some jumped up health visitor—’
The door opens and we all swing round, but it’s only Gabby, in her black Formes trousers and jacket, holding her Palm Pilot open and talking into her mobile phone headset.
‘Yup,’ she’s saying. ‘Yup. FedEx both of them off. And get me the Anderson figures. OK, I’ve gotta go now. I’ll call as soon as I’m out of this place.’ She snaps her PalmPilot closed and looks around. ‘What’d I miss?’
‘Nothing,’ says Geraldine. ‘We’ve all just been sitting here waiting for some “special speaker”. Special rip-off, more like.’
‘I assure you,’ Petal’s calm voice from the back of the room makes us all jump, ‘my last speaker is not a rip-off.’ She’s walking to the front now as Gabby takes her seat. ‘I might go so far as to say this last lesson will make the information I have given you in the preceding weeks seem irrelevant.’
There’s silence in the room. As Petal looks around there’s a faint smile at her lips and her eyes look even more witchy than usual.
‘Some of you may have wondered why you were offered places in my class. You will be aware that a lot of women apply, but not many are accepted.’
A glow of pleasure creeps over me. As I glance around I can see the same smug smiles on everyone else’s faces too. All except Grace, who’s looking as petrified as ever.
‘Let me just say that I felt you could all particularly benefit from this final lesson.’ She reaches for the switch and dims the light, then draws the door closed. We all exchange glances through the gloom.
‘Sounds quite mysterious!’ says Geraldine with a laugh. ‘I wonder what this is all about.’
‘I did once hear a rumour,’ begins Gina, lowering her voice. ‘I heard that Petal Harmon can foresee what kind of labour you’re going to have. And that she tells you on your final lesson.’
‘I heard she could tell the sex of your baby,’ says Gabby, busily texting. ‘But what’s the point, with ultrasound? Anyway, I know what kind of labour I’m going to have.’
Suddenly the room goes even darker, although no one’s been near the switch. The only light comes from the white of the snow outside the window and the glow of Gabby’s mobile.
‘Great,’
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