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eyes on the ground, silent and weaponless.
That afternoon we saw many bands of Navahos. They came from all directions, from the high country and from the valleys. It was like a storm when water trickles from everywhere and flows into the river and the river flows full. This was the way the trail looked as night fell, like a dark-flowing river.
Little Rainbow did not come for her child when we camped that night and I asked my mother what I should do.
"There is nothing to do," she said.
My sister said, "You were foolish to take the child. You have enough to carry without her."
"We will find the girl tomorrow," my mother said, "or she will find us. In the meantime she knows that her child is safe."
We did not find her the next day. Tall Boy went out looking at sunrise, but soon returned, saying that a soldier had threatened him. The soldier told him to go back to his clan and not to wander around or someone would shoot him.
All day as we trudged eastward I looked for Little Rainbow. I asked people I did not know if they had seen her. Everyone shook their heads. In a way I was glad that I did not find her. I was carrying three rolled-up blankets and a jar filled with cornmeal. It was a heavy burden even without the little girl. But she was good all the time, making happy sounds as the two of us went along.
As on the day before, Navahos by the hundreds came out of the mountains and forests to join us.
The river flowed slower now and many old people began to falter. At first, the Long Knives rode back and forth, urging them on if they lay down beside the trail. But so many fell that afternoon when the cold wind blew from the north that the soldiers did not take notice anymore, except to jeer at them.
The march went on until dusk. Fires were lighted and people gathered around them. Our clan said little to each other. We were unhappy and afraid, not knowing where we were driven.
"The soldiers tell me that it is a place of running water and deep grass," my father said. "But it lies a long walk to the east."
He said this every night as we huddled around the fire. I think he believed it. He wanted us to believe it, too.
"Cast your eyes around," he said. "You will see many people sitting beside their fires. They are hungry but not starving. They are cold but they do not freeze. They are unhappy. Yet they are alive."
"We are walking to our deaths," my mother said. "The old die now. The young die later. But we all die."
Tall Boy stared at the fire, saying nothing. He had said little since that day when he tried to throw his iron-tipped lance and had failed. The Navahos, his people, were captives of the Long Knives and there was nothing he could do to free them. Once he had been haughty, his wide shoulders held straight, his black eyes looking coldly at everyone. I wished, as I sat there beside him, that he would act haughty once more.
My sister took the little girl from my lap, where
she was sleeping. "She is heavy," Lapana said.
"No wonder," my mother answered. "She eats a lot, as much as I do almost. And food is scarce. Every day there will be less until there is none."
I took the child back and wrapped her in a blanket and lay down with her in my arms.
The fire died away and I could see the stars. I wondered what the little girl's name was. She was like a flower, like a flower in a spring meadow. I gave her that nameâMeadow Flowerâas she lay beside me.
The north wind was cold and far off among the trees the horses of the Long Knives were restless.
18
A NEW MOON showed in the west and grew full and waned and still we moved on.
The hills and the piñón country fell behind. There were few streams anymore. When we came to water we drank deeply and filled our jars to the brim. The land was covered with gray brush and rolled away so far that it hurt the eyes to look.
By this time there were thousands of Navahos on the march. We spread out along the trail for miles, each clan keeping to itself by command
Sonya Sones
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