Sorry, I digress. We were talking about him, weren’t we?
You should have seen him. He was handsome. He had curly blond hair that waved at the sky when the wind blew. It was like his hair was shaking at heaven. He had the eyes of an angel. They sparkled with laughter. Even when we were protesting outside the clinic, the sparkle never diminished. You could hear the passion in his voice every time one of those little whores walked by on their way into that slaughterhouse. He wasn’t afraid to speak up about his convictions. The way that he talked about life was inspiring. I was far too bashful to approach to him directly. I don’t think that would have been very ladylike of me. I didn’t want to seem too forward. I didn’t want him to think about me as bold and brazen. Not like those whores that went to the clinic. My stomach flipped over when our eyes met. He smiled at me. Then he told me his name, and I replied in kind. I knew he could tell how smitten I was. It felt that way to me, at least. Thinking about that moment still gives me chills of delight even to this day. We began to court shortly after. He was forever the perfect gentleman. He wasn’t like the other men that my friends at church had dated. So many men act like they care about you, but really they’re only interested in getting into your pants. They were only interested in one thing. That’s what my friends told me. It felt different with him, though. There was no heavy making out, and he never pressured me to kiss him. Mostly our dates consisted of sitting under our favorite Willow tree at the park while we discussed the book of the Lord. He was so knowledgeable. I wanted to hear all of his thoughts and ideas when he talked about scripture. One time I even told him he should write a book about the Bible. He just laughed my suggestion off. He said that people who buy religious fluff literature were rarely as open-minded as me. I blushed when he said that. He was what I imagined every woman wanted in a man. I often wondered what kind of church he attended. I bet it was big and fancy, and full of believers of the words of the Lord.
Mamma always said that church was the best place to meet a man. Mamma’s daddy had been a minister. He had given a sermon every Wednesday and Sunday. He was strict and led his flock with an unwavering faith. Mamma had grown up in this wave of believers. As a child, she had helped clean the church, especially before services. Cleanliness was next to Godliness her Daddy had always told her. When she became a teen, she helped in the daycare center. She helped entertain the young children while their parents attended church. Later, Mamma sang in the choir. She sang like an angel proclaiming joy while in the presence of the Lord. That’s where she met my Daddy. They sang together in the choir. Momma said he was the most handsome man she had ever laid eyes on. She said Daddy was kind and had eyes that always seemed to laugh. She said it were as if he had a constant litany of jokes running in his head, and that only he could hear the punchline. They had dated for over a year before Daddy proposed to Momma. Momma once told me that the whole time they had dated that she dreamed of having their child. She said that she often daydreamed of holding the child in church while her Daddy delivered the sermon on Sunday. She knew that the child would be a gift from God. Then she had gotten pregnant, and I was born. Momma told me that I had been a perfect child. Always smiling and happy, and that I had a curiosity about everything.
I think I had fallen for him before the summer was over. It felt like I was head over heels. Your heart makes you do funny things when you’re in love. I thought about him all the time. Each time I saw him, it became harder to control my urges. I wanted to hold him. I wanted to kiss him all over his body. I wanted to feel his hands caressing my breasts. We weren’t married, though. I was sure Jesus