Read Online Silverblind (Ironskin) by Tina Connolly - Free Book Online
Authors: Tina Connolly
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copperhead hydras and a winged squirrel before they believed I could do the field work, and they still think I’m going to bolt into the nearest attic at a moment’s notice.” He shrugged ruefully. “Which I might.” He looked up at the wyvern, which was watching them intently. “Still doesn’t help me with wyvern eggs. I don’t know how anyone does it without getting fried to a crisp.”
“They kill them,” Dorie said bluntly, going off what Malcolm had intimated.
His kind face darkened. “Barbaric, troglodyte, stupid, stupid fools,” he said, and he infused the epithet with enough venom to make it sound like a swear. “There’s not an infinite supply.”
Dorie shrugged. The topic made the blood boil in her veins, and she was unsurprised that it would do the same to Tam. She sat down, straightening out her boy’s field jacket. There was a strange little lump in her belly.
His eyes narrowed behind his specs. “That explains how Henderson suddenly started coming back with more eggs. I told him it wasn’t a contest.…” He suddenly pounded the ground with his good hand, his eyes growing wild. “I should never have taken this job. I need the freedom to pounce on whatever I find. And here they have me with a minder and metrics and—” His eyes unfocused as he stared off at something she couldn’t see. “The woods are strange lately. First I saw a flight of purple swallowtails, and they’re usually much farther north this time of summer. Then a clutch of yellow garter snakes I’d never seen before. That kind of pattern disruption is one of the signs, and yet—” He broke off. “Have you seen anything … big … recently?”
Dorie shook her head. “But I haven’t been here recently.” She ran her fingers over the lump in her belly, feeling it out.
He shook his head. “Old Pearcey is all ‘wyverns wyverns wyverns’, but I’ve half a mind to skive off wyvern-hunting for a day and whistle up the fey to ask them about it.”
Dorie started at that. “You would … talk to the fey?” she said. “Willingly?”
The wyvern was restless, and Tam whistled again before he answered, something slow and mournful from the suite. “Sometimes more willingly than others,” he said, staring up the mountain. “But I don’t blame the fey for that.”
Behind him, Dorie flushed again, and her fingers felt hot and numb. Any thought that she would reveal herself to him, that she would find he had forgiven her, was gone now.
He was obliquely referring to her .
To the summer seven years ago when she had traded him to the fey.
It did not matter that she had been fifteen, that she had not meant it all to go the way it happened. It did not matter how much she had tried to atone since then. What mattered is that unforgivable things were unforgivable.
Dorie listened to his melody until it ran out, and she thought of just turning and running. Seven years was not enough time to face up to this. But Tam turned before she could make any kind of decision, and in a normal voice he said, “At any rate, the lab would never know. After all, everyone knows it takes scads of time to track down eggs.”
The distraction shocked her from her fugue. That’s what the lump in her belly was. The egg. She had saved it after all. It had remained in her belly as she phased back into human form, as she tumbled from the tree.
Dorie ran her fingers over the lump, feeling it with great surprise. It made a hard little shape in there. A strange kind of pregnancy, for this girl who looked like a boy—and an ironic smile twisted on her face. What if she circumvented her whole dilemma with Malcolm Stilby, and gave Tam the egg? She was suddenly struck that perhaps she could use the egg to make amends. Tam could take it back to the lab, be the hero for a day.
But no. How would one egg, one day of praise, make up for what she had done to him? Her guilt was too big to atone, or at least, she had not figured out how to atone for it
“They kill them,” Dorie said bluntly, going off what Malcolm had intimated.
His kind face darkened. “Barbaric, troglodyte, stupid, stupid fools,” he said, and he infused the epithet with enough venom to make it sound like a swear. “There’s not an infinite supply.”
Dorie shrugged. The topic made the blood boil in her veins, and she was unsurprised that it would do the same to Tam. She sat down, straightening out her boy’s field jacket. There was a strange little lump in her belly.
His eyes narrowed behind his specs. “That explains how Henderson suddenly started coming back with more eggs. I told him it wasn’t a contest.…” He suddenly pounded the ground with his good hand, his eyes growing wild. “I should never have taken this job. I need the freedom to pounce on whatever I find. And here they have me with a minder and metrics and—” His eyes unfocused as he stared off at something she couldn’t see. “The woods are strange lately. First I saw a flight of purple swallowtails, and they’re usually much farther north this time of summer. Then a clutch of yellow garter snakes I’d never seen before. That kind of pattern disruption is one of the signs, and yet—” He broke off. “Have you seen anything … big … recently?”
Dorie shook her head. “But I haven’t been here recently.” She ran her fingers over the lump in her belly, feeling it out.
He shook his head. “Old Pearcey is all ‘wyverns wyverns wyverns’, but I’ve half a mind to skive off wyvern-hunting for a day and whistle up the fey to ask them about it.”
Dorie started at that. “You would … talk to the fey?” she said. “Willingly?”
The wyvern was restless, and Tam whistled again before he answered, something slow and mournful from the suite. “Sometimes more willingly than others,” he said, staring up the mountain. “But I don’t blame the fey for that.”
Behind him, Dorie flushed again, and her fingers felt hot and numb. Any thought that she would reveal herself to him, that she would find he had forgiven her, was gone now.
He was obliquely referring to her .
To the summer seven years ago when she had traded him to the fey.
It did not matter that she had been fifteen, that she had not meant it all to go the way it happened. It did not matter how much she had tried to atone since then. What mattered is that unforgivable things were unforgivable.
Dorie listened to his melody until it ran out, and she thought of just turning and running. Seven years was not enough time to face up to this. But Tam turned before she could make any kind of decision, and in a normal voice he said, “At any rate, the lab would never know. After all, everyone knows it takes scads of time to track down eggs.”
The distraction shocked her from her fugue. That’s what the lump in her belly was. The egg. She had saved it after all. It had remained in her belly as she phased back into human form, as she tumbled from the tree.
Dorie ran her fingers over the lump, feeling it with great surprise. It made a hard little shape in there. A strange kind of pregnancy, for this girl who looked like a boy—and an ironic smile twisted on her face. What if she circumvented her whole dilemma with Malcolm Stilby, and gave Tam the egg? She was suddenly struck that perhaps she could use the egg to make amends. Tam could take it back to the lab, be the hero for a day.
But no. How would one egg, one day of praise, make up for what she had done to him? Her guilt was too big to atone, or at least, she had not figured out how to atone for it
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