Ten-years-older-and-wiser Cali Ellis?
Right now she was hunted Cali Ellis, he reminded himself harshly. Dragging his mind away from tantalizing thoughts he had no business tormenting himself with, he brushed past her.
Cali reached out and grabbed his arm, catching him by surprise and turning him easily back to her. She didn’t let him go. “If I’m not just another assignment, then what am I?”
He felt each individual finger pressing into his arm. He was close enough to smell the heat on her skin. To see the fine blond hair, damp and darker than the rest, clinging to her cheek and forehead. He was close enough to see in her eyes whatever she chose to show him.
“What, McShane? Obligation? Old debt?”
He didn’t look, didn’t dare. Her words drew his attention to her mouth instead. He found no sanctuary there. Never in his life had he wanted to know what a woman’s mouth tasted like as badly as he did Cali Ellis’s.
At that exact moment he had no idea how he’d last another second without finding out.
“Pity case? Paid vacation?” She bludgeoned him, making him watch her too soft lips form harsh indictments. He heard anger and pain, which doubled the wound he felt when in reality he would give anything to take her mouth under his and kiss her until they both heard only the sounds of pleasure and need. He wanted to make the pain and anger go away. Both Cali’s and his.
She stopped, her mouth parted slightly as she drew in a deep breath. Maybe he’d chosen the harder path after all.
He lifted his gaze and met hers head-on. Apparently hell came in many shapes and colors. Right now hell was slightly rounded and blazing green.
“Just say it, John. Whatever it is that caused you to answer a plea from a minor, decade-old, out-of-touch acquaintance.”
“Does it matter so much, Cali?” He was drowning in an indignant green sea, and the only life preserver in sight was the very thing pulling him under. “You needed help. You asked me. Isn’t it enough to know you’ll get it?”
She didn’t shift so much as a hair. Her spine was still rigid, her expression still focused intensely and exclusively on him. “It should be.” Her fingers relaxed slightly, then she abruptly dropped his arm and looked away. “It should be,” she said, her voice so low and soft, it barely reached him.
It reached someplace deep and dark inside him, where the light never penetrated, where his soul had resided in cool, undisturbed peace.
Until now. Until Cali.
Without questioning the intelligence of the action, already knowing the answer and completely unwilling to heed it, he reached out and touched her chin.
Her skin was warm and damp from the humidity. His fingertip glided over her skin as he traced upward to her mouth. He saw her lower lip quiver slightly and he tensed his fingers to pull away. But, as if sensing his intent, she looked up.
He slid his fingers along her jawbone, beginning a journey that held far greater risk than merely touching her.
The palms of his hands grazed her ears as he plunged his fingers into her hair, pulling her closer.
“Yes, it should be.” His voice was rough. “But it isn’t, is it, Cali?” He stepped closer to her, felt herknees brush his. His body was already rock-hard. He tilted her head back, staring deeply into her eyes. “Is it?” he demanded.
He wasn’t sure what he’d hoped to find there. A reason to stop. An excuse to continue. He found neither. She simply returned his gaze, probing his eyes as he did hers. For the first time he wondered what she found. He knew in that moment that whatever it was, it wasn’t nearly enough, would never be enough.
He dropped his hands and stepped away. Unprepared for his sudden release, Cali stumbled back a step. John automatically reached out to still her, but she shrugged him off.
“I’m sorry, Cali.”
“Don’t you dare.” She advanced on him.
He stood his ground, which was feeling shakier by the second. “Things are
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