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land.
She dug her thumbnail hard into the soft flesh at her wrist in an attempt to escape her thoughts.
Goddammit, Sam. Goddammit.
     
    At last the early afternoon heat drove them back to the shade of the porch. Elizabeth brought tall glasses of iced tea and once again Hawkins stood at the railing, silent and gazing off into space. She sat in a rocking chair and sipped her tea, waiting for him to signal that he was ready to leave. Finally he drained his glass and, without turning, said, “I'd like it if you'd come into Asheville and have dinner with me sometime, Elizabeth. Maybe go to a movie. Or when I get a place rented I could fix dinner for you—”
    “Would you like some more tea?” Elizabeth interrupted, standing up so hastily that her rocker banged against the porch wall, startling the three dogs out of their sleep. James, as was his wont, began to bark mindlessly, while Molly and Ursa stalked down the steps to the yard with offended backward looks.
    “No thanks, no more,” Hawkins replied quietly as she collected his empty glass and headed for the kitchen. “I'd better get going—you've probably got things to do.”
    “Oh, no, not today,” Elizabeth called back from the kitchen where she was furiously rinsing the glasses and coffee mugs. “But if you need to get back, I'll take you down to your car.”
    Ben, who was sitting at the kitchen table with a second cup of coffee and a gardening magazine, lifted a quizzical eyebrow and silently mouthed,
What's your problem?
    Ignoring her nephew, Elizabeth set the mugs and glasses in the dish drainer and returned to the porch. Hawkins put out his hand and said, “Thank you for everything, Ms. Goodweather. Lunch was delicious and I really enjoyed seeing this place. Sam told me so much about it and about you that almost all of it seemed familiar.” The handclasp was polite and brief. His thoughtful brown eyes rested on her momentarily and he said evenly, “You don't need to drive me down; I'd enjoy the walk.”
     
    You were unforgivably rude,
Elizabeth told herself as she watched Hawkins's stocky form moving purposefully down the road.
No wonder he didn't want a ride.
As Hawkins rounded the barn and disappeared, the familiar sense of loss that was her heart's constant core seemed to swell, constricting her throat and forcing tears into her eyes.

CHAPTER 5
    M ISS B IRDIE I NSISTS
 ( S UNDAY AND M ONDAY)
    E LIZABETH WAS STILL WATCHING THE EMPTY ROAD when the screen door banged and Ben came out onto the porch. “What the hell got into you, Aunt E? A nice guy asks you for a date and you act like he's a serial killer or something. It sounded like you two had a lot to talk about—you know you like it when people want to look at your flowers—but all of a sudden, boom, you're in doing the dishes. He just asked you out to dinner, for God's sake. Even if you're not interested in him as a date, he might have helped you out some with this Cletus thing.”
    “Oh, I know, Ben. It was just . . . I guess I wasn't expecting . . . I don't think that I . . .” She sank down heavily in the nearest rocker. “He was nice, Ben,” she explained carefully, “but I don't feel like getting involved with anyone. I just—”
    “Involved? Since when is going to dinner and a movie with someone ‘getting involved'? You know what, Aunt E?” Ben hitched himself up to sit on the wide porch railing and she realized that she was in for a lecture.
At what point,
she wondered,
did the roles reverse? Just about when I really began to try very hard not to interfere in the lives of my children, then they, and Ben as well, decided to fill the gap by taking an interest in
mine.
The girls tell me what I should or rather, shouldn't wear, and now Ben . . .
    “. . . do you good to have some social life,” he was saying. “Sam's been gone almost five years now and you've hunkered down like Queen Victoria mourning Prince Albert.” Elizabeth's eyebrows shot up in surprise and he went on. “You