Read Online Shy Kinda Love by Deanna Eshler - Free Book Online Page B

few minutes to Ryder’s house I think about my encounters with Kade since meeting him, just yesterday.
    I have spent the last several years building walls to keep people out. I have mastered the art of minimizing risk in relationships. My roommates know I have demons, but they also learned to not ask questions.
    Kade, however, is freakishly observant, and he has amazing eyes and an even better body. The fact that I even notice his body is a new experience for me, one that makes me very uncomfortable. My body has never reacted, physically, the way it does when I’m around Kade. The idea of allowing myself to explore those reactions is terrifying to me.
    I just need to make special effort to avoid one-on-one interactions with him, and not think about how beautiful he is or how much he seems to be legitimately interested in me and my horses.
    I pull into Ryder’s drive and turn off the car. I head to the back of the house and let myself in the back door, which opens into the kitchen. Ryder is standing at the coffee pot wearing nothing but his jeans.
    Hearing the door, Ryder turns and instantly smiles. “Hey, you,” he says in a soft, deep tone. As I close the door behind me he crosses the room and wraps me in a warm embrace, then kisses the top of my head. “What brings you by?”
    I have my arms around his waist so I drop them and step back. I shrug, trying not to show how stressed I am from my interactions with Kade. “I just needed some space.”
    “Hmm, unrest in the new house already?” Ryder teases. “Coffee?” He is already getting two mugs down.
    The chair makes a scratching sound on the floor as I pull it out. “Of course,” I answer unnecessarily. Ryder is well-versed in my coffee addiction. He fills my mug and adds a shit-ton of creamer. Just the way I like it.
    “So, what’s going on?”
    I sigh, then scrub my face with both my hands. I know to just get to the point since Ryder has a sixth sense with me. I take a deep breath, then begin, “Kade, one of my new housemates, was waiting on my tailgate this morning, wanting to go to the barn with me.” I can feel my heart picking up pace just talking about Kade. I try to put on a disgusted face but I’m sure I don’t pull it off.
    Ryder lifts one eyebrow, then asks, “And?”
    Really, Ryder is supposed to get these things, get my issues, without me having to explain. “And,” I huff out, “he was pushing to go with me, but I explained I don’t do the friendship thing. I mean, I know I have Keegan and Gemma now, but I don’t need more. I don’t want this guy talking to me and trying to spend time with me.” I toss my head back and look up to the ceiling so Ryder can’t read the lie in my eyes. After a few silent seconds pass I tilt my chin down to see his expression. He has stepped away from the fridge completely and is standing with his arms across his chest and his head tilted down.
    “Shy, come on,” Ryder taunts. “Why the fuck do you lie to me? Lie to yourself if that’s what you need, but don’t lie to me.”
    I stand and circle around the table to put some distance between us. I love Ryder, but I hate when he calls me out. “Fine, he’s really hot and seems super nice. The problem is, I don’t need a hot, nice, genuine guy mucking up my life. I’m perfectly happy in my misery.”
    Ryder takes a seat back at the table, then motions to the seat I just vacated. I walk back around the table and sit, trying to release the tension that’s building. “You like him. There is nothing wrong with that,” he says.
    “There is something wrong with that,” I argue. “I’m not normal. It’s been hard enough having friendships with all my secrets, but how can I even consider a guy… dating… or whatever.” I don’t know why I just said that. Date? I can’t date. I don’t want to date.
    Ryder chuckles, enjoying my embarrassment. “Don’t jump ahead of yourself. Take it one day at time. If you want him to go to barn with you, let