Read Online Shy Kinda Love by Deanna Eshler - Free Book Online Page A

clothes, I go in search of lunch. I’m in the kitchen, washing my hands at the sink, when I hear “Hey, Filly Girl, how was the barn?”
    “What did you just call me?” I reach for a towel and dry my hands as I turn to find Kade standing behind me.
    Kade smiles as he leans against the wall. “Filly. I thought it was fitting. You know… you work with horses… a filly is a young female horse.” He pauses, his smile fading. “Okay, so you don’t like the name… yet. You’ll come around.”
    What is wrong with this guy? “You are not calling me Filly. And where did you come from? You weren’t in the living room when I got home.” I know my level of irritation is unwarranted, but I can’t show him what I’m really feeling—an unexpected happiness to see him.
    He shrugs. “Maybe I heard a car pull in and when I saw your truck in the drive, I decided to come see how your morning went.”
    “It was horrible,” I snap. Closing my eyes, I take in a long breath. “That’s not true. My work with Tanner started out poorly, but then it actually ended surprisingly well.”
    “Who’s Tanner?”
    Trying to be nice, and have a normal conversation, I explain, “He’s a horse I’m working with for a family. He’s been abused so he has trust issues. He can be unsafe to handle, and no one has even tried to ride him yet.”
    “Most animals are similar to humans in the way that we process trauma,” Kade says, surprising me. “We can overcome physical trauma easier than emotional trauma. So for example, if it had been a random stranger that abused the horse, his emotional recovery would be easier than if it had been his longtime owner.”
    I stand staring at him, mouth hanging open and frying pan hanging from one hand. Not only does he know this, but he is able to recall it when needed. I can’t remember where I left my keys most days.
    “So do you know?” Kade asks. He must see the lost expression on my face because he clarifies, “Do you know if it was an owner, or someone the horse had learned to trust?”
    I shrug, setting the pan down. “We’re not sure.”
    “Have you done any research on trauma—either for horses or humans?” he asks.
    I turn away, placing the pan back on the stove. If he means have I experienced my own trauma at the hands of someone I trust, then yes… yes, I have done plenty of that research.
    Feeling my irritation grow, I ask, “What do you want from me? I feel like I’ve made it clear that I don’t want anything from you, yet you keep showing up and asking questions.” I see him flinch at my tone, but I keep going. “I don’t need your help figuring out how to work with this horse.”
    “Okay,” he says, nonchalantly, then he pushes off the wall, walks to the fridge, and looks inside. “What do you girls have for lunch?” He pulls something off the fridge. “Hey, look, a coupon for the Chinese restaurant. That looks like a great plan for lunch,” he says, trying to ease the tension. With a wink, he adds, “I’ll buy yours, Filly, since I’ve upset you.”
    I blow out a loud breath and run my hands down my face. I want to choke him and laugh at him, so I do what I do best: I run. If he’s not going to, then I will. Kade Cross creates too many feelings with that smile, that voice, and the way he’s not intimidated by my harshness. He’s like Keegan in the sense that he doesn’t register the push, no matter how hard I shove.
    “I’m going to go hang out with Ryder,” I say, hoping this push will be hard enough.
    Kade furrows his brow, seeming confused. I’m sure he’s replaying our conversation from last night about Ryder just being my friend, and wondering if I was lying.
    I see the moment Kade decides to not prod any further. His brow relaxes; he takes a long breath in, then nods. I just give him a quick, insincere smile, grab my keys, and walk back out the door. I know that was shitty, but my self-preservation has priority over his feelings.
    As I drive the