you…it’s not true, you know. I would never do that. I don’t know if that’s the real reason why you won’t see me, but I would never do that to a woman. I’m a make-love-not-war kind of guy. You have to know that. You believe me, don’t you?” He looked like a man who was desperate for someone, anyone to be on his side. I could understand. He was an only child, now orphaned. Sure, he was an adult, but I’m sure he was having a really rough time what with everything that was going on—not including his legal problems.
“Would it make you feel better if I told you I believe you? Because that still doesn’t change anything. Not the case or our situation.”
“Yes. It would. Even if you never saw me again, if I paid her off, or lost to her in court—whatever. I want you to know the truth.”
“Why does it even matter what I think? You don’t even know me, Joel. You have plenty of other things to worry about right now.”
“I know, I know, but I can’t stop thinking about you. I know it was only supposed to be a night, but don’t you see? We were supposed to be stuck together in that storm. You and I. I thought it was going to be a disaster, but it turned out to be the best week I’ve had in a long time. Do you know what my life has been like this last month?”
“I—no, I can’t imagine.”
“It’s been a fucking nightmare. I never thought I’d be the guy to hide out in my house.”
“Why have you been hiding? Why don’t you just face her? If what you say is true, why don’t you say it?”
“Do you know what people see when they see me? They see a man three times as big as Lara. They think I do steroids, which would explain how I could lose it like that. They see a spoiled little rich kid who probably got everything he ever asked for and didn’t have to work for anything. Even if I was never accused of doing something as fucking awful as hitting a woman, there would always be those people who hate me. That want to see me fail. That want to knock me down a peg or two, just so that I could know what their struggles are like. I’m only one person, Blaire. How am I supposed to go against that?”
“The night we met—”
“Wasn’t supposed to happen. I had been cooped up for weeks, and I felt like I was going stir crazy. I had to get out, even if for a little bit. And then I saw you…”
The waiter chose the perfect opportunity to bring our food. He set our plates down, clouds of steam still billowing from Joel’s fajitas. After we assured him everything looked good , he left us alone again—to continue our conversation. I didn’t know what I expected from my lunch with Joel, but it wasn’t that. It wasn’t complete honesty and sincere words. Maybe a lot of sexual innuendo and sly smirks, pretty much anything to get me to the nearest hotel for a quickie. Not that the idea crossed my mind or anything . With the waiter gone, Joel didn’t miss a beat immersing us back in the conversation we had prior to our food arriving.
“You can’t tell me I don’t mean something to you. I saw it. I felt it.”
I never felt as fat in my life as I did in that moment, where I would have rather stuffed my face full of cheesy enchiladas than face what he was suggesting. To say no would be to lie and to say yes would be the truth. A truth that wouldn’t help either one of us.Especially, if my intention was to put some distance between us.
When Joel picked up his fork and took a bite of his food, I was thankful he wasn’t going to push it.
“I don’t want you hiding in your house.” The words coming from my mouth shocked even me, but I continued, “I know you said people don’t want to see you, but it looks worse that you’re not doing anything. If what you’re saying is true and Lara is lying, then she’s winning by forcing you to hide out in your home where you have no one and nothing. Do you know why she’s doing this to you?”
“No, but I suspect it has something to do with
“Would it make you feel better if I told you I believe you? Because that still doesn’t change anything. Not the case or our situation.”
“Yes. It would. Even if you never saw me again, if I paid her off, or lost to her in court—whatever. I want you to know the truth.”
“Why does it even matter what I think? You don’t even know me, Joel. You have plenty of other things to worry about right now.”
“I know, I know, but I can’t stop thinking about you. I know it was only supposed to be a night, but don’t you see? We were supposed to be stuck together in that storm. You and I. I thought it was going to be a disaster, but it turned out to be the best week I’ve had in a long time. Do you know what my life has been like this last month?”
“I—no, I can’t imagine.”
“It’s been a fucking nightmare. I never thought I’d be the guy to hide out in my house.”
“Why have you been hiding? Why don’t you just face her? If what you say is true, why don’t you say it?”
“Do you know what people see when they see me? They see a man three times as big as Lara. They think I do steroids, which would explain how I could lose it like that. They see a spoiled little rich kid who probably got everything he ever asked for and didn’t have to work for anything. Even if I was never accused of doing something as fucking awful as hitting a woman, there would always be those people who hate me. That want to see me fail. That want to knock me down a peg or two, just so that I could know what their struggles are like. I’m only one person, Blaire. How am I supposed to go against that?”
“The night we met—”
“Wasn’t supposed to happen. I had been cooped up for weeks, and I felt like I was going stir crazy. I had to get out, even if for a little bit. And then I saw you…”
The waiter chose the perfect opportunity to bring our food. He set our plates down, clouds of steam still billowing from Joel’s fajitas. After we assured him everything looked good , he left us alone again—to continue our conversation. I didn’t know what I expected from my lunch with Joel, but it wasn’t that. It wasn’t complete honesty and sincere words. Maybe a lot of sexual innuendo and sly smirks, pretty much anything to get me to the nearest hotel for a quickie. Not that the idea crossed my mind or anything . With the waiter gone, Joel didn’t miss a beat immersing us back in the conversation we had prior to our food arriving.
“You can’t tell me I don’t mean something to you. I saw it. I felt it.”
I never felt as fat in my life as I did in that moment, where I would have rather stuffed my face full of cheesy enchiladas than face what he was suggesting. To say no would be to lie and to say yes would be the truth. A truth that wouldn’t help either one of us.Especially, if my intention was to put some distance between us.
When Joel picked up his fork and took a bite of his food, I was thankful he wasn’t going to push it.
“I don’t want you hiding in your house.” The words coming from my mouth shocked even me, but I continued, “I know you said people don’t want to see you, but it looks worse that you’re not doing anything. If what you’re saying is true and Lara is lying, then she’s winning by forcing you to hide out in your home where you have no one and nothing. Do you know why she’s doing this to you?”
“No, but I suspect it has something to do with
Similar Books
