Read Online Shimmer: The Rephaim Book 3 by Paula Weston - Free Book Online

worn and cracked from years of wear. For the first time I feel a flutter of pride in Gabe. And relief: I was a good friend. We sit in silence for a minute or so, watch Jude block punches from Jones, counter with a solid kick to his thigh.
    ‘You and Jude…’ Micah shakes his head. ‘I never thought I’d see either of you alive again, let alone together as a team. When you two weren’t talking, it was like the world turned inside out.’
    I probe the bruise on my ribs. It’s still sore. I don’t want to think about Jude and me being angry at each other, but I have to ask. ‘Do you know why I didn’t leave with him when they all walked out?’
    Micah shakes his head. ‘I honestly thought you were going. And I got it, completely. Things had gone too far with Nathaniel and he needed to give Jude answers. It came down to leaving—accepting there was more to know—or staying and pretending it didn’t matter.’
    ‘Why didn’t you go with them?’
    Another sad half-smile. ‘Because you stayed.’
    I close my eyes. It always comes back to this: Why? Why did I stay behind when Jude and the others became Outcasts? What did Jude and I find out that brought us back together? And what did we do that led to us having our pasts taken from us? Does any of it have anything to do with what’s happening to Rafa and Taya right now?
    Micah glances at his watch and stands. He brings his fingers to his lips and lets out a piercing whistle. Everyone stops.
    ‘Lunch is in twenty. You might want to think about showering beforehand.’ He waits until he’s satisfied the Outcasts are wrapping up and then turns back to me. ‘Those roughnecks you brought with you will get fed in the infirmary. They’ve been giving the brothers a hard time.’
    The Butlers. And Simon.
    ‘Has anyone told them where they are or what’s really going on?’
    ‘Brother Ferro thought it would be better coming from you.’
    Yeah, because they trust me so much. But whose responsibility are they if not mine? I was the one who wanted to warn them about an imminent demon attack.
    ‘Now those guys I can take you to,’ Micah says.
    I drag my fingers through my hair, retie my ponytail. I imagine explaining to Mick Butler that he’s in a monastery in Italy with a fallen angel and more half-angel bastards than he can count. And then I think about Daisy, and realise my next chance of seeing her will be at lunch.
    ‘Let’s eat first.’

BREAKING BREAD
    I’m in the shower when I lose it. The blast of warm water dissolves the lie that I’m okay. I drop to my knees under the weight of the truth, feel it twist my face, my insides. My shoulders heave with the effort of not sobbing: I don’t want Jude to hear me in the next room.
    All I can see is the demon sword coming out of Rafa. Rafa’s eyes searching for me in the shadows, full of pain. Full of fear. He’s been trapped in that room for an hour and forty-six minutes. An hour and forty-six minutes for Zarael to hurt him—
    Stop. Just…stop.
    Rafa is alive. We’re getting him back.
    I lose time watching dirt and blood swirl down the drain. The water finally runs clear. I find the strength to stand, force myself to wash my hair and scrub my skin, scrape the black grime out from under my nails.
    This gleaming white bathroom is exactly like the one I almost drowned in last Monday. Am I ever going to have an experience at the Sanctuary that doesn’t involve me sobbing, fighting or aching?
    I dry my hair and wipe steam from the mirror with a damp towel, get a good look at myself. Great. My face is blotchy and my eyes look like I’ve been drinking rum for twelve hours. I look exhausted.
    Someone has left clothes on the bed: jeans, t-shirt and a fleece-lined hoodie. I get dressed and pull back my hair, repeat my new mantra: Rafa is alive. We’re getting him back. I wish it felt like the truth.
    A knock on the door. It’s Jude. He hasn’t shaved, but his hair is damp. It hangs almost to his shoulders,