Read Online Shieldmaiden by Marianne Whiting - Free Book Online Page B

names.’ The silence that followed sat heavy on my chest. Hauk took a deep breath. ‘Names!’ now his voice was angry.
    Bile of fear rose in my throat. I swallowed and whispered: ‘What names?’
    â€˜Ragnar. Who is Ragnar?’ There was violence in his question. I knew I must not swoon, I must not let on.
    â€˜Don’t shout at me, Hauk. He’s a boy I knew when I was a child. I saw his father killed. I don’t even know if anyone has told him. I keep dreaming of the killings.’ I was crying now. Hauk seemed less sure of himself but he continued:
    â€˜So who’s Thorfinn? And Olvir?’
    â€˜Olvir! But Hauk, you know who Olvir is. He’s the lad who came with me from Becklund. Hauk my dreams are full of what I witnessed. I can’t help what I see then.’
    â€˜Sigrid I’m plagued by doubts. Say the child is mine. Say you love me.’
    â€˜The child is yours.’ That much I managed to lie but I could not bring myself to speak of love to him and I pretended to choke on my tears. He put his arm round me.
    â€˜Sigrid, little wife, all will be well. I promise you, we shall re-build Becklund and then we shall have two of the best farms in Cumbria and great wealth to pass on to our children.’
    My baby announced its arrival in the middle of the night three new moons after the midwinter sacrifice. I woke and at first I thought it was my nightmare continuing to squeeze my ribs. Then I realised and rose to summon Ingefried from her bed. She called a thrall and ordered a fire in the bathhouse. I went outside. Frost glittered on the hard ground and on the branches of trees and shrubs.
    â€˜Walk around a bit,’ said Ingefried and covered my shoulders with my fur-lined cloak. I threw it open, thankful to cool off. The icy air stung my chest and the pain abated. When it returned it was worse than before and I groaned.
    â€˜Listen, Sigrid, this is just the beginning. Your waters haven’t even broken yet. Don’t whimper. Grit your teeth!’
    Once the sauna was warm enough, Ingefried made me lie down on the bench with my legs open. She tut-tutted and made me walk around again. The pains came and went. The sun rose. There were voices outside, Hauk and Thorgunn. Ingefried was talking to them.
    â€˜It’s a bit early but I’m sure all will be well.’
    â€˜More than a bit early! Let me see her. I want an answer once and for all!’
    â€˜Calm yourself son. You mustn’t upset her now.’
    â€˜You most certainly will not see her. This is women’s business. Go away. Your child will be brought to you in the usual manner. Thorgunn, please take him away. I’ll send for you if we need you.’
    My waters broke and gushed, warm and sticky, along my legs on to the floor. The pains came at regular intervals and wrenched my insides until I screamed. So the day passed into evening.
    I knelt on the bench, shivering under another contraction. In the heat and steam Ingefried tried to make me breathe deeply and work with the baby. But I was full of dread and my cleft was tense and my breathing out of time. She left me with a thrall-girl and when she returned she sent the girl away and made me drink a most foul concoction. Then I remember a great fog. Pain still sliced through my body, but it didn’t seem to matter. I heard screams, which may have been mine. There were voices, the voices of my nightmares and the faces that came with them, my mother denouncing me, the sound of the sword on my father’s neck, the thundering hooves of the horse carrying Ragnar away from me, the crackling of the flames destroying Becklund. Then I was back there, back in my father’s hall. But the roof was caving in. I had to hold it up or it would collapse on top of me. I became a giant. My strength superhuman, I strained and pushed to keep those mighty beams from crushing me. I heard myself scream. My body was torn apart, my strength waned. I