Read Online She Survived by M. William Phelps - Free Book Online
Authors: M. William Phelps
Ads: Link
to get to the hospital. He says, âOh, honey, Iâm quite sure you werenât stabbed. He just probably hit you really hard and that split your skin open.â
âWait a minute,â Melissa said as she looked back and remembered how this comment made her victimization that much more difficult straight from the get-go. âI know what the hell just happened to me! And you are telling me you donât believe me? Iâm about to pass out and you are going to tell me I donât know the difference between a knife and a fist?â
Melissa explained further that one of the investigators later told her how another cop picked up the bloody knife, walked up to that deputy, and said, âHey, do you think that this could be what she wasnât stabbed with?â
Looking back on what happened to them, survivors of violent crimes often talk later on about that initial, mounting trauma as it expanded into the community via law enforcement directly after their incidents. No one would know at the outset how to deal with this in a sympathetic manner, unless theyâre trained to do so. Some first responders often drop the ball and make insensitive remarks, not out of malice or viciousness or disbelief, but because of not being educated about victims and how to respond to a person who has just been viciously brutalized. No one victim responds to a crime in the same way, which makes it all that much more difficult to train officers and first responders. But training is the key. And it was not until the early 2000s that this type of detailed, dedicated training (other training had existed, but nothing like it is today) was finally instituted in police departments and other first-responder units all over the country and was taken seriously.
For a victim such as Melissa, the trauma was akin to a festering, hibernating virus of the soul. As time moved forward, the victim did not realize how badly the attack was affecting and weighing on her emotions, feelings, general thoughts about life, love interests, and those everyday chores and routines we all take for granted.
I also remember the first time I was questioned by all the different detectives. Just like in movies and TV shows and books youâve read, they try to make you feel like it was your fault. They kept asking me questions like had I been drinking, taking drugs, any prescription medication and why. I had taken my cough syrup because it was the middle of allergy season. And, yes, I left my patio sliding glass door cracked open so my cats could go in and out and it was hot out and I lived on the second floor. But I was asleep inside my own home. I was in my own home asleep! I was not doing anything to âaskâ for this. They start questioning your lifestyle. And then you start questioning your own lifestyle.
Then there comes a time when you start being told you have to go to therapy or your case wonât be worth anything. I wanted to go to therapy. But when itâs being paid for by the state, and not the most qualified person is there to help your mental well-being, I donât see how that helps. It only puts pressure on the victim and again makes him or her feel like she is doing something wrong.
The absolute âworst day,â Melissa explained, took place when she called down to the police station to make plans to submit to a blood test.
âTurns out that they had, in fact, found two types of blood in the apartment that night, which was great, because it puts him at the crime scene,â Melissa recalled. âBut then came the realization and the fact that they did have to warn me there was a chance I may have gotten in a good blow to his nose, like I thought I had. I could have possibly even broken his nose. And get thisâI was told that because of that blow to his nose I had landed, it might now set me up for a lawsuit. I couldnât believe it. But, yes, under the screwy laws of Indiana, my attacker could sue me
âWait a minute,â Melissa said as she looked back and remembered how this comment made her victimization that much more difficult straight from the get-go. âI know what the hell just happened to me! And you are telling me you donât believe me? Iâm about to pass out and you are going to tell me I donât know the difference between a knife and a fist?â
Melissa explained further that one of the investigators later told her how another cop picked up the bloody knife, walked up to that deputy, and said, âHey, do you think that this could be what she wasnât stabbed with?â
Looking back on what happened to them, survivors of violent crimes often talk later on about that initial, mounting trauma as it expanded into the community via law enforcement directly after their incidents. No one would know at the outset how to deal with this in a sympathetic manner, unless theyâre trained to do so. Some first responders often drop the ball and make insensitive remarks, not out of malice or viciousness or disbelief, but because of not being educated about victims and how to respond to a person who has just been viciously brutalized. No one victim responds to a crime in the same way, which makes it all that much more difficult to train officers and first responders. But training is the key. And it was not until the early 2000s that this type of detailed, dedicated training (other training had existed, but nothing like it is today) was finally instituted in police departments and other first-responder units all over the country and was taken seriously.
For a victim such as Melissa, the trauma was akin to a festering, hibernating virus of the soul. As time moved forward, the victim did not realize how badly the attack was affecting and weighing on her emotions, feelings, general thoughts about life, love interests, and those everyday chores and routines we all take for granted.
I also remember the first time I was questioned by all the different detectives. Just like in movies and TV shows and books youâve read, they try to make you feel like it was your fault. They kept asking me questions like had I been drinking, taking drugs, any prescription medication and why. I had taken my cough syrup because it was the middle of allergy season. And, yes, I left my patio sliding glass door cracked open so my cats could go in and out and it was hot out and I lived on the second floor. But I was asleep inside my own home. I was in my own home asleep! I was not doing anything to âaskâ for this. They start questioning your lifestyle. And then you start questioning your own lifestyle.
Then there comes a time when you start being told you have to go to therapy or your case wonât be worth anything. I wanted to go to therapy. But when itâs being paid for by the state, and not the most qualified person is there to help your mental well-being, I donât see how that helps. It only puts pressure on the victim and again makes him or her feel like she is doing something wrong.
The absolute âworst day,â Melissa explained, took place when she called down to the police station to make plans to submit to a blood test.
âTurns out that they had, in fact, found two types of blood in the apartment that night, which was great, because it puts him at the crime scene,â Melissa recalled. âBut then came the realization and the fact that they did have to warn me there was a chance I may have gotten in a good blow to his nose, like I thought I had. I could have possibly even broken his nose. And get thisâI was told that because of that blow to his nose I had landed, it might now set me up for a lawsuit. I couldnât believe it. But, yes, under the screwy laws of Indiana, my attacker could sue me
Similar Books
