laughed and strolled out of the park. There was a yell behind us and I turned to see a naked man in his fifties racing up the path with two police officers on his tail. I pulled Shawn out of the way and he thundered past, followed by Warren and his partner.
We looked at each other and burst out laughing. What a surreal end to our first date.
Six
Shawn
More of Kris. More of Rory.
And the second date where we both get naked.
I RANG Kris in Singapore as soon as I got off the phone with Harley.
“He wants to take me out on a second date,” I blurted before Kris had even finished saying hello.
“Who does?” Kris asked.
“Harley,” I almost wailed.
“Who?” Kris had to ask for a second time.
I huffed in exasperation. “Harley. Otherwise known as Hippy-Hotpants?”
“Ahh.” I could hear the light dawning on the other side of the phone connection. Even though Kris was thousands of kilometers away, he was still my best friend, and I told him everything.
“Yes. He just rang me and told me what a great time he had on Friday night and then asked me if I wanted to go hiking next Sunday. What do I do?” I was nearly in tears. Never let it be said that men don’t have emotions.
Kris paused for a moment. “You say yes.”
“I already did.”
“So what’s the problem?” He sounded perplexed at my emotional outburst. Didn’t he see the problem?
“Me.” I was definitely wailing now. No doubt about it.
There was a big sigh on the other end of the phone. “Shawn. There’s nothing wrong with you apart from you thinking there’s something wrong with you. If this Harley guy’s asking you on a second date, then he likes you.”
“I don’t know if he does like me. Maybe it’s a mercy date.”
“Shawn, mate. Get a grip. You told me all about your first date, so if he’s coming back for more, then he must see something in you.”
“Not helping,” I groused. I didn’t want to remember that first date. What a disaster.
“And anyone is better than People-Eating Rory, who was your dream date, wasn’t he?”
“Not helping,” I told Kris again. I didn’t like to remember how well that first date with Rory had gone. I should’ve known there was something fishy about the guy from that.
“So, all you have to do is not break a bone, get bitten, stabbed, cut, or concussed before Sunday, and it’s all sweet, right?”
“Not. Help. Ping,” I spat through the phone. “How can he want to date me Kris? I mean—apart from my three biggest problems, what is there to me that’s attractive?”
“Three biggest problems?” Kris asked, perplexed.
“My mother, my sister, and Shawn’s Law,” I listed for him.
“Ahh.” I could hear Kris sorting through his say-something-nice-to-Shawn repertoire. Then he came back with, “But he’s already met your mother, your sister, and Shawn’s Law. And he’s coming back for more.”
I closed my eyes and slumped back on the bed. “Kris? Tell me again why you’re my best friend? Because from where I’m sitting, it appears you’re not helping.”
Kris laughed. “I’m your best friend because I saved you from drowning when you hit your head on that surfboard. Oh, yeah—and when I called the ambulance after you broke your ankle. And when I took you to emergency after you cut your finger. And every other time I’ve forgotten about.”
I smiled. “Okay, so tell me this—why am I your best friend?”
There was a broad chuckle on Kris’s end. “You’re my best friend because you have all the blackmail material on me. Like, you know who e-mailed the naked pictures of Mr. Hunter to every other teacher. You also know it was me who put red food coloring in the water tank in the manual arts building at school, and you know it was me who put a dead frog in Miranda Lewis’s lunchbox after she called you a ‘little faggot’ in front of the whole class.”
Yes. Kris knew how to cheer me up.
He continued. “You also know that I had a
We looked at each other and burst out laughing. What a surreal end to our first date.
Six
Shawn
More of Kris. More of Rory.
And the second date where we both get naked.
I RANG Kris in Singapore as soon as I got off the phone with Harley.
“He wants to take me out on a second date,” I blurted before Kris had even finished saying hello.
“Who does?” Kris asked.
“Harley,” I almost wailed.
“Who?” Kris had to ask for a second time.
I huffed in exasperation. “Harley. Otherwise known as Hippy-Hotpants?”
“Ahh.” I could hear the light dawning on the other side of the phone connection. Even though Kris was thousands of kilometers away, he was still my best friend, and I told him everything.
“Yes. He just rang me and told me what a great time he had on Friday night and then asked me if I wanted to go hiking next Sunday. What do I do?” I was nearly in tears. Never let it be said that men don’t have emotions.
Kris paused for a moment. “You say yes.”
“I already did.”
“So what’s the problem?” He sounded perplexed at my emotional outburst. Didn’t he see the problem?
“Me.” I was definitely wailing now. No doubt about it.
There was a big sigh on the other end of the phone. “Shawn. There’s nothing wrong with you apart from you thinking there’s something wrong with you. If this Harley guy’s asking you on a second date, then he likes you.”
“I don’t know if he does like me. Maybe it’s a mercy date.”
“Shawn, mate. Get a grip. You told me all about your first date, so if he’s coming back for more, then he must see something in you.”
“Not helping,” I groused. I didn’t want to remember that first date. What a disaster.
“And anyone is better than People-Eating Rory, who was your dream date, wasn’t he?”
“Not helping,” I told Kris again. I didn’t like to remember how well that first date with Rory had gone. I should’ve known there was something fishy about the guy from that.
“So, all you have to do is not break a bone, get bitten, stabbed, cut, or concussed before Sunday, and it’s all sweet, right?”
“Not. Help. Ping,” I spat through the phone. “How can he want to date me Kris? I mean—apart from my three biggest problems, what is there to me that’s attractive?”
“Three biggest problems?” Kris asked, perplexed.
“My mother, my sister, and Shawn’s Law,” I listed for him.
“Ahh.” I could hear Kris sorting through his say-something-nice-to-Shawn repertoire. Then he came back with, “But he’s already met your mother, your sister, and Shawn’s Law. And he’s coming back for more.”
I closed my eyes and slumped back on the bed. “Kris? Tell me again why you’re my best friend? Because from where I’m sitting, it appears you’re not helping.”
Kris laughed. “I’m your best friend because I saved you from drowning when you hit your head on that surfboard. Oh, yeah—and when I called the ambulance after you broke your ankle. And when I took you to emergency after you cut your finger. And every other time I’ve forgotten about.”
I smiled. “Okay, so tell me this—why am I your best friend?”
There was a broad chuckle on Kris’s end. “You’re my best friend because you have all the blackmail material on me. Like, you know who e-mailed the naked pictures of Mr. Hunter to every other teacher. You also know it was me who put red food coloring in the water tank in the manual arts building at school, and you know it was me who put a dead frog in Miranda Lewis’s lunchbox after she called you a ‘little faggot’ in front of the whole class.”
Yes. Kris knew how to cheer me up.
He continued. “You also know that I had a
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