Read Online Shatter (St. Martin Family Saga) by Gina Watson - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Gina Watson
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Catherine left you because of the way the events played out. Is that the way of it?”
His father eyed him intently, as he always did during what the family referred to as a Logan interrogation . “Yes.”
“Do you or do you not think this will further alienate me from my family? Especially Cory. They will blame me for all kinds of shit, and he will blame me for the day his mother left him.”
“They won’t. I know my children, all seven of them. They love you, Logan. We all do.”
Logan closed his eyes and exhaled. He couldn’t believe what he was going to say, but the words came pouring out of his churning heart. “It’s not often I’m wrong, but I was wrong about this. I spent twenty years thinking that if I just had the St. Martin blood running through my veins, I’d be accepted and there would be nothing in this world that could sever that connection. I was mistaken.”
Using controlled, precise movements, Logan picked his keys up from the counter and walked out. His father called to him, but he didn’t look back. He couldn’t shake the feeling he was responsible for all the problems in the St. Martin marriage. He knew it had been especially hard on Cory since he’d been there to witness his mother’s abandonment. That thought was eroding Logan’s gut like acid. He thought of all the people affected by him and knew he couldn’t go back to Whiskey Cove. Not now. Not tonight. Maybe not ever. Not once they knew what he’d been responsible for.
All this time he’d thought he was someone else—the product of love of a family that he now discovered never existed. Now he was supposed to shift gears and accept this new information and apply it to his person, to his life? Fuck that. He was done placating everyone. He was pissed at all of them. Though he knew it was completely irrational, he was even pissed at his brothers for what they’d gotten that he hadn’t—the feeling of wholeness all their lives, the innate knowledge of who they were in relation to those around them. He’d never have that. He’d be more of an outsider now, now that he knew he shared St. Martin blood, than he’d been when he’d thought he had nothing in common with them. He’d be cast out, as was only right for what he’d caused to happen.
He lifted his face to the moon and laughed. He hadn’t been a part of his birth parents’ family and he hadn’t been part of his adoptive family. How fucking mixed up was that?
He slammed the flat of his hand against the truck. There was no way he could go back to his old life.
Ah…But then there was Jessie. And Michael. God knew he loved that boy, but his mother drove his senses to the brink with her milky skin and her fiery copper hair. Logan loved her easy companionship. Did he love her with a forever kind of love? He wasn’t sure. Hell, just now he was sure of nothing. But his mind was never far from thinking of her, so he knew if he didn’t yet love her, he would very soon. Or maybe he’d just admit to himself what was already a reality.
Yet he couldn’t be selfish when it came to them. She wanted the best for Michael, wanted a role model for him, someone the community respected. Someone who would help Michael grow into a caring and respected man. Logan could understand that. The kid was great and deserved the best in a father. The best in the man who loved his mother. Logan could love Jessie, maybe better than any other man. But what kind of role model would he be? What kind of respect would he have once the community knew about his past? Sure, his dad would face the initial blowback, but then they’d look at Logan. Jessie didn’t deserve the crap that would be attached to him. In all honesty, she didn’t need more problems of any kind. He wanted to make her life better, not worse. And now it looked like better meant he needed to be out of her life.
He got in his truck and drove. Drove along interstate highways and isolated swamp bridges until he finally stopped in
His father eyed him intently, as he always did during what the family referred to as a Logan interrogation . “Yes.”
“Do you or do you not think this will further alienate me from my family? Especially Cory. They will blame me for all kinds of shit, and he will blame me for the day his mother left him.”
“They won’t. I know my children, all seven of them. They love you, Logan. We all do.”
Logan closed his eyes and exhaled. He couldn’t believe what he was going to say, but the words came pouring out of his churning heart. “It’s not often I’m wrong, but I was wrong about this. I spent twenty years thinking that if I just had the St. Martin blood running through my veins, I’d be accepted and there would be nothing in this world that could sever that connection. I was mistaken.”
Using controlled, precise movements, Logan picked his keys up from the counter and walked out. His father called to him, but he didn’t look back. He couldn’t shake the feeling he was responsible for all the problems in the St. Martin marriage. He knew it had been especially hard on Cory since he’d been there to witness his mother’s abandonment. That thought was eroding Logan’s gut like acid. He thought of all the people affected by him and knew he couldn’t go back to Whiskey Cove. Not now. Not tonight. Maybe not ever. Not once they knew what he’d been responsible for.
All this time he’d thought he was someone else—the product of love of a family that he now discovered never existed. Now he was supposed to shift gears and accept this new information and apply it to his person, to his life? Fuck that. He was done placating everyone. He was pissed at all of them. Though he knew it was completely irrational, he was even pissed at his brothers for what they’d gotten that he hadn’t—the feeling of wholeness all their lives, the innate knowledge of who they were in relation to those around them. He’d never have that. He’d be more of an outsider now, now that he knew he shared St. Martin blood, than he’d been when he’d thought he had nothing in common with them. He’d be cast out, as was only right for what he’d caused to happen.
He lifted his face to the moon and laughed. He hadn’t been a part of his birth parents’ family and he hadn’t been part of his adoptive family. How fucking mixed up was that?
He slammed the flat of his hand against the truck. There was no way he could go back to his old life.
Ah…But then there was Jessie. And Michael. God knew he loved that boy, but his mother drove his senses to the brink with her milky skin and her fiery copper hair. Logan loved her easy companionship. Did he love her with a forever kind of love? He wasn’t sure. Hell, just now he was sure of nothing. But his mind was never far from thinking of her, so he knew if he didn’t yet love her, he would very soon. Or maybe he’d just admit to himself what was already a reality.
Yet he couldn’t be selfish when it came to them. She wanted the best for Michael, wanted a role model for him, someone the community respected. Someone who would help Michael grow into a caring and respected man. Logan could understand that. The kid was great and deserved the best in a father. The best in the man who loved his mother. Logan could love Jessie, maybe better than any other man. But what kind of role model would he be? What kind of respect would he have once the community knew about his past? Sure, his dad would face the initial blowback, but then they’d look at Logan. Jessie didn’t deserve the crap that would be attached to him. In all honesty, she didn’t need more problems of any kind. He wanted to make her life better, not worse. And now it looked like better meant he needed to be out of her life.
He got in his truck and drove. Drove along interstate highways and isolated swamp bridges until he finally stopped in
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