bartender at Sam’s trendy sports bar in the heart of downtown. But when the owner of the spot had decided to sell it, Logan had used all the money he’d managed to save from his escorting work – along with a generous cash infusion from Sam for 20 percent of the business – to buy it. It had taken another three years of hard work and countless escort jobs to get enough money together to refurbish the place enough to get the doors open. He’d learned quickly that being a bartender and being a bar owner were two very different things and he’d been glad to have both Sam’s money and his expertise. The work was endless and the hours long, but the escorting had made it possible for him to sink more money into the place to get it to where it needed to be and it wouldn’t be too much longer before it was finally operating in the black. His friends often wondered at his simple dream, but it was his and he was okay with that. Savannah started gathering her dishes up, her food barely touched. “How was your date last night?” he asked, taking a sip of his coffee. He watched her carefully and didn’t miss her hesitate as she started scraping her plate off over the garbage can. The long curtain of her hair was hiding her face from his view. “He was nice.” The brightness in her voice seemed forced. “You gonna see him again?” “Maybe.” She picked up her pace with cleaning off her dishes as well as the pan they’d used to make the eggs. She stuffed them in the dishwasher hurriedly and then rinsed her hands. Logan wanted to shout at her and demand she tell him why she was different. He wanted to know where along the way he had fucked up because he didn’t recognize this shell of a person in front of him. But he did nothing. He said nothing. “Bye, sleep good,” she said breezily as she grabbed her things and hurried out the door. He waited several seconds and then flung his half full coffee cup against the wall, brown liquid splattering all over the fading yellow paint that his mother had loved so much.
*** Savannah paused when she thought she heard something shatter inside the house and every instinct told her to go back inside and fix the damage she had done to her brother. But she kept walking to her car which Shane had somehow managed to get back to her in the middle of the night. The keys had been on the usual hook inside the kitchen door. And since her brother hadn’t jumped all over the second she had walked into the room, she figured Shane had kept her secret from Logan. Bitter tears stung as she thought about her brother’s confused look this morning. She had felt his eyes on her all through breakfast, and the few times she had looked up she could see the hurt in them. It would be worse to see what would be in his eyes if he knew how messed up she really was. She climbed into her car and got on the road. As she got closer to school, she started to hope and pray that Robert wouldn’t escort his son into class today; maybe he’d just see him to the door and not come in like he had every other morning. The shame of how she had reacted to him last night burned through her. He’d even admitted to her that it was his first date since his wife had passed and she had gone off on him like a raving maniac. She only remembered flashes of his shocked expression and she had no idea what had happened after she’d taken off for the bathroom…after she grabbed that knife. She realized suddenly that she didn’t even know if Robert had seen that part. If he had and he told the school’s principal, she’d be out of a job. It was a sobering thought, but maybe it was the way things should be – what if something one of her kids did set her off and she had a meltdown in front of a group of five year olds? No, she would never hurt them physically, but she could still cause them trauma. By the time she reached the parking lot, her hands were trembling. How had her life spun so far out of control? All