water. Come on,” Rafe said,
throwing an arm around Will’s shoulders.
“I’m so sorry,” I said. Will nodded in acknowledgment,
then started down the steep hillside.
I cursed my heels as I tried not to slip on the loose dirt and
tiny rocks strewn across the makeshift path. We stopped on a
large outcropping just above the narrow, rocky shore. It was
shielded from the road by a clump of foliage.
No one spoke.
Everyone watched Will for a sign.
After a few minutes, Rafe turned to him and whispered,
“Shall we begin?”
Will looked up toward the road.
“Are you waiting for someone else?” Kat asked solicitously.
“Because we can wait as long as you need.”
“Guess not.” He handed the urn to Rafe, who looked non-
plussed. Will shook out his hands and flexed his thick fingers,
then interlaced them. “Thank you all for coming today. Maren
and I don’t have any family left, so this means a lot. To Rafe,
too. We both loved her so much.” His voice started to break.
“Sorry,” he said, smiling. “I’m going to make this brief. Maren
wouldn’t have wanted us to waste a beautiful morning talking
about somebody who was dead.”
Fredericka and her girlfriend exchanged glances. Kat put
her hair up in a ponytail. The wind was blowing like crazy.
“Life is for the living, that’s what Maren would have said.
Am I right, Rafe?”
Rafe nodded.
“She was spectacular, my sister. Full of surprises. You
couldn’t always see them coming. Sometimes they’d throw you
for a loop. But she was more exciting, more alive, than anybody
67
else you could ever know. That’s the Maren I want to remem-
ber. I want to remember the girl who broke her arm surfing,
and as soon as she got her cast off, broke my arm wrestling me
to the ground because I’d borrowed her board without asking.”
Everybody laughed.
“Anybody else want to say anything?” He looked at Rafe,
who promptly handed me the urn. To my surprise, I realized it
was plastic, not granite.
Rafe walked up to the front of the group and brushed some
dried weeds out of the way with his shoe.
“I met Maren the day I started high school,” he began. “I
was new to the area, didn’t know anybody. I was sitting by my-
self at lunch, feeling like I was the sorriest soul on the planet,
when this girl sat down beside me. She was beautiful.” He
smiled, taking his time. “Long blond hair, impish grin, devil-
may-care attitude—I could see that right away. ‘Meet me by
the bike rack after school,’ she whispered in my ear. And then
she was gone. You didn’t say no to Maren, so I was there, as
soon as the bell rang, waiting. I waited for an hour, cussing
myself out the whole time, because, of course, she didn’t show.
So I went home.”
I glanced over at Will, whose head was down. The others
were spellbound.
“The next day,” Rafe continued, “I saw her first thing in the
morning, laughing with her friends on the auditorium steps,
but I didn’t dare go up to her. I didn’t want her to know I
could give a shit. But at lunch there she was again. ‘Meet me in
the bleachers after school,’ she whispered in my ear, and before
I could protest, she was gone. All day long I wrestled with it.
Would I go? Should I go? Yes. No.” His brow was furrowed,
like it was that day all over again, like he was fourteen years
68
old, and had no idea what to do, what to say, who to be. “Of
course, I did go. This time, though, I only waited thirty min-
utes before riding my bike home. When I got to my front door,
she was sitting there waiting for me. She said I’d passed the
test. I never did get around to asking her exactly what the test
had been. Had I proved how stupid I was? Or how loyal? Or
how crazy about her I already was?”
A car alarm went off in the distance. Rafe stopped, dis-
tracted by the noise. When it was quiet again, he seemed to
have lost his bearings. Fredericka smiled at him, encouraging
him to go
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